How to Journey to Stillness

Tuesday morning, Sun shine. Fluffy white clouds tinged with grey and blue shroud Vancouver Island in the distance. Sea a gently undulating blanket, always in motion. Trees stand tall, branches still, their filigree network of needles pricking the untouchable sky.

In meditation this morning, the invitation was to ‘let your mind dissolve into the clouds’. I struggled with it. Struggled to find the stillness and spaciousness of nothingness. To imagine my mind as dissolvable.

I am attached to my mind and its constant yammerings and yawings. It’s incessant litany of thoughts and ideas tumbling around inside my head telling me, ‘that’s a good idea’. ‘what on earth were you thinking?, ‘you need to do more’, ‘you’re not enough’… and all that jazz.

Stilling the chatter has been a lifelong journey for me. Meditation is my gateway to the stillness, and calm, of letting my mind dissolve into the clouds.

Some mornings, my mind feels busier than others. When I began meditating, I started small. Even 1 minute of sitting in the silence is better than none.

Whether you’re a beginner, or a seasoned meditator, here are four ideas on how you can begin to meditate or to enrich your existing practice:

1. Start Small:

  • Silencing the mind completely is a lofty goal, especially for beginners. If you’re just beginning, start with just a few minutes of dedicated stillness each day, gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable. If like me, you go in and out of your practice, sometimes leaving it for days on end, always begin again and do not judge yourself harshly!

2. Focus on the Breath:

  • The breath is an anchor to the present moment. Especially as you begin to practice, pay close attention to each breath. In. Out. In. Out. As you progress, focus the sensation of each inhale and exhale, noticing the rise and fall of your chest or belly. When the mind wanders, gently guide it back to the breath. In. Out. In. Out.
  • Remember not to judge your progress, or the stillness of your mind. Stay, ‘open minded’. Curious. Calm.
  • Tip: To support your practice, try this counting exercise: inhale for a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4.

3. Engage the Senses:

  • Connect with your senses. Take a mindful walk in nature, noticing the sights, sounds, smells, and textures around you. Or, sit quietly and savour a cup of tea or coffee, paying attention to the warmth of the mug, the aroma, and the taste.
  • Exercise: When connecting with your senses, close your eyes and ask yourself: “What do I hear? What do Ifeel against your skin? What do I smell?” Don’t seek the words to describe what your experiencing. Feel it. Don’t name it.

4. Embrace a Creative Outlet:

  • Engaging in creative activities can quiet the mental chatter and induce a state of flow. There are countless individual ways of experiencing this – painting, writing, dancing, playing music, gardening, or anything that allows you to express yourself and get lost in the process.
  • As a mixed media artist and as a writer, getting lost in the process of creation has taught me to ‘trust in the process’ . Time disappears, the world around me fades as I become immersed in the pure joy and wonder of allowing my intuition and creative essence to express itself fearlessly.

5. Acceptance and Non-Judgment:

  • It’s crucial to approach stillness with a gentle, non-judgmental attitude. When thoughts arise (and they will!), acknowledge them without judgment and gently redirect your attention back to your chosen anchor (breath, senses, etc.).
  • Remember: Meditation is a practice, not a performance. There’s no “right” way to find stillness just as there is no wrong way to begin again.

What about you? What do you do to stop the chatter and open the portal to your heart?

From Giving to Living: Balancing Self-Care with Caring for Others

Throughout our lives, especially as women, we often prioritize caring for others over ourselves. Whether as mothers, partners, friends, or colleagues, we frequently extend compassion and care outward, sometimes leaving very little for ourselves.

As we age, this pattern can persist if we do not consciously assess our own self-care practices. Proper self-care is crucial for living fully and passionately. It not only enhances our ability to care for others but also protects us from accumulating resentment and bitterness. Constantly prioritizing others can lead to an empty well of empathy and compassion.

Many factors contribute to neglecting self-care, including childhood conditioning, societal expectations, and a lack of self-belief. Without examination, these habits can lead to perpetual feelings of fatigue, burnout, and emptiness.

That’s why I’ve created the ‘Self-Care Check-In,’ a simple yet powerful tool to assess your self-care habits.

Why Reflective Journaling? Reflective journaling makes our thoughts and feelings tangible, allowing us to address often overlooked needs, desires, and well-being. This exercise encourages you to pause and ask whether you treat yourself with the same kindness and love you offer others.

In reflective journaling, there’s no judgment—only curiosity and empathetic acceptance. It opens a space for awareness, helping you explore possibilities for more loving self-care practices.

Self-Care Isn’t Just Pampering It’s about recognizing our worth and making ourselves a priority. By responding to specific questions through journaling, we can gauge our current self-care practices and identify steps to integrate better self-care into our daily routines.

Remember, the way we treat ourselves sets the stage for how we interact with the world, especially as we embrace the bold and brilliant years of our lives.

Let’s Get Started:

  1. Open your journal to a new page and title it ‘Self-Care Check-In.’
  2. At the top right-hand corner of the page, write a large A+. You’ve already started practicing positive self-care by showing up on the page—that deserves an A+.
  3. Below are four questions to help you assess your self-care. Please answer spontaneously, without overthinking.
    • Physical Self-Care: “What is one physical activity I did for myself today? (e.g., stretching, walking)”
    • Emotional Self-Care: “What is one thing I did today to make myself feel loved or supported?”
    • Mental Self-Care: “What is one thing I did today that brought me peace or rest?”
    • Gratitude: “What is one thing I am grateful for about myself today?”

After answering these questions, reflect on which area was most challenging and consider what steps you can take to improve self-care in that area.

For me, emotional self-care requires daily conscious effort. What about you?

I’d love to read your thoughts and experiences. Please share them in the comments below.

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We explore Self-Care and what holds us back from extending it to ourselves in my 8 week program, The ReWrite Journey.

I’ll be starting a new cohort Monday, May 13th at 5:30pm MT.

Gift yourself time to explore the art of ageless living with The ReWrite Journey.

Learn more HERE