I’ve never met her. Never chatted on the phone, or over a cup of tea sitting at a cafe with late afternoon sunlight filtering through the window, revelling in the connection two women get when they sit and savor the moment and share morsels of their lives with kindred hearts and spirits open wide to the possibilities of friendship. Yet, reading her writings at Megan Willome: Have tea. Will write, I feel like I do. Know her. I feel like I am sharing a cup of late afternoon tea, or an evening by the fire, because with everything Megan writes, she takes you into her heart through every photo, every phrase, every gentle vista she creates with her words upon the screen.

Megan Willome has a beautiful heart.

Today, Megan shares her beauty and wonder with us here as a guest blogger.

One day, I hope to share a cup of tea and long, long conversation with her. She’s one of those bucket-list kind of people. The opportunity to meet and sit and have a cup of tea would be such a delight!

Thank you Megan  for inspiring vulnerability, for inspiring acts of beauty and wonder with everything you write and share.

Making a Difference: Online Friends

by Megan Willome

I resisted starting a blog for a long time. I already had a steady writing gig with a magazine, and the whole idea seemed pretty self-serving. Finally, a friend convinced me to give it a try.

At first it was pretty unremarkable, and I was OK with that. I wasn’t looking to gain tons of followers, just to write about some things that I couldn’t in my regular job. Some of those things are more spiritual, some are more poetry, some are just musings. But somewhere along the way, a few people started to turn up in my comment box regularly. People like Louise. And long before I’d heard words like “brand” and “platform” — words that would have probably kept me from starting a blog in the first place — I realized I was making friends in the comment section. Someone like Louise would comment in my box. Then I’d comment in hers. Next thing I knew, I had a new friend.

In my life as a woman, my friends make the difference for me. I don’t know how I would get through a single day without them. In fact, if I don’t talk with at least one friend a day (in one way or another), you can bet that I’m sick in bed.

I have a friend that I call about once a week. We have kids the exact same ages and genders, and I won’t make a major parenting decision without talking it through with her. There’s another friend I walk with from time to time, and we discuss books. We’ve both read things we wouldn’t have outside of our friendship.

And then, there are my online friends. Real people, I promise! I’ve met some of them in person at a writers’ conference. But even when we don’t get that opportunity, sometimes we move from the comment section to email. A comment deserves follow-up: “Hey, there. Are you OK?” Then, some of those emails have led to phone calls.

I’ll never forget the first blogger I talked to on the phone. The funny thing is that we didn’t talk on the phone until she was in Texas, only 75 miles away from my house. We were trying to see if we could meet up. As I finally put an actual voice with a written voice, it just made that friendship go even deeper.

But sometimes just the written blog by itself can cement something deeper. One of my online friends has been keeping a secret blog. Well, the blog is out there for anyone to read, but her name and email isn’t attached to it because it’s about some family problems. I’ve been following the twists and turns of this drama, thinking about how brave she is, what a good example she’s setting for her kids. And then she wrote something that stopped me cold. I realized that her situation had parallels to my own.

I emailed her. She emailed back. I wrote back more than she probably bargained for, but she has stayed my friend. She still appears in my comment box, and I still appear in hers (her public blog, not her private one). She started that private blog because she had things to say that couldn’t be said any other way. She wasn’t doing it to gain followers — she has taken great pains to remain anonymous. She didn’t intend to make a difference in my life. But I think that maybe she was writing that blog for me all along.

Thank you, sweet friend.

Written by: Megan Willome

It is Saturday. Rainy. Cloudy. Wet and damp. But, no matter the weather, there are heroes everywhere. Heroes doing what they do to make the world a better, more loving, caring and vibrant place.

As happens on 9 Saturdays of the year, I am coaching in the Givers 2 room (PURPOSE) at Choices this weekend. As always, when immersed in the love and joy and wonder of a Choices training room, I am in awe of the human condition, and our ability to overcome darkness, to see into the hearts of each other, and ourselves and know, we are amazing beings of light. Beautiful. Courageous. Gifted. Caring. Kind and so much more than we ever imagined. We are Amazing!

Everyone attending Choices, Givers 1 and Givers 2, the coaches and facilitators and all those who come out just to say hello, just to connect to the energy and share in the joy of coming alive with such elan, you are heroes!

There are millions, billions of heroes out there in the world. One of them is a young high school girl I read about this week in North Carolina who is off to Harvard this fall. This is no easy feat for anyone. But for Dawn Loggins it was even more daunting. Her mother and step-father are drug addicts. She came home from school one day to discover they had abandoned her. Determined to break the cycle of their abuse, she committed herself to doing what it took to finish high school — a straight A student so that she could get into the college of her dreams. To do it, she had to work as the school janitor. She had to ask for help. She had to let go of resentment, bitterness, anger and move into the grace of forgiveness so that she could carry on unburdened by her past. And she has. (Click HERE to read the full story.)

Dawn Loggins is a hero.

This hero is very near and dear and special to me. My daughter Alexis who over the past few weeks has begun to write about, and speak up about her eating disorder is a big hero in my life. It’s not easy speaking up about something that eats away at your peace of mind. And still, she is doing it. And along with Alexis there are others. A young reader from England whose online name is On The Way shared a link on her blog (click HERE to visit it) that I wrote about earlier this week — Fears vs Dreams. Lisa Rosenburg at Writings about Body Image and Identity. And so many more. Calgary Counselling Centre who provides specialized programs for those suffering from, or loving someone who has an eating disorder. You are all making a difference.

Alexis. On The Way. Lisa. And everyone else working to heal from an eating disorder, you are all heroes.

I wrote about them yesterday. I wrote about their amazing accomplishment of setting a Guinness World Record of 204 karate boards split at one time. Richard and Trudy Fossey and all those who came out on June 16 to stomp on boards, to support them, to tell the world about them through media feeds, and all their sponsors and those who donated — what an amazing feat. What an amazing group of people.

AKF Karate and Break the Cycle are heroes.

Peace is needed in our world. Right now. Right here. Every day. Every moment. June 22 in Calgary is the kick-off of Summer of Peace Calgary 2012. Inspired by the brilliance of Kerry Parsons whose Centre for Inspired Living has helped thousands of people move beyond conflict, discord and unease into living within harmony, peace and joy, a team of co-creators has woven together a plan to unleash PEACE in Calgary. It will kick-off on Friday, June 22 at Drumming Up Peace!  Click HERE for more information — but know — You will be moved to peace. You will be inspired to make peace. Come and be part of creating a groundswell of harmony. Come and drum up Peace!

Everyone involved in creating Summer of Peace Calgary 2012 are heroes.

And… because I like to share wonders I’ve found online, here is a video that the amazing Maureen Doallas at Writing Without Paper shared this past week of a performance by Tony Orrico at Polyforum Siqueiros, Mexico City. In his work, Tony Orrico combines movement and drawing. His drawings a created by performances that he realizes either in his studio or live in front of an audience.

At the Annual General Meeting last night for the Calgary Counselling Centre (where I am currently working four days a week as Interim Director Communications) I held something I never imagined holding. Those involved in its creation said that having it was on their bucket list. Me, I can’t think about a time when I’ve imagined achieving it, but now, having held it, my mind is awash in possibility.

What does it take to set a Guinness World Record? What does it take to not just hold it and admire it (it is a heavy piece of paper and quite beautiful with its special silver seal of authenticity from the GWR), but to be the actual recipient of it?

Ask Richard and Trudy Fossey. They were presented with a special recognition award last night at the AGM. On April 16th of this year, Richard and Trudy helped organize the event that saw the Guinness World Record set for the most karate boards broken at one time, at an event they created through the karate club where they are both members —  AKF Amateur Karate Club. And in case you’re wondering, they had 232 attempting to break a board at that one moment in time. In the end, 204 were successfully broken.

It was about more than just breaking a karate board though.

In fact, for the past four years, it’s always been about more than breaking boards and karate kicks for this couple who created AKF Break the Cycle to draw attention, and raise funds to combat something they believe needs to be stopped, or as they call it, stomped out — domestic violence.

Richard and Trudy may be every day people living ordinary lives but they are committed to doing extraordinary things.

Richard and Trudy want to make a difference and have put their desire into action.

As I listened to them talk about the event, and their motivation for creating it and then how the idea to set the Guinness World Record came into being, I was struck with how we all have the capacity to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary simply by taking action.

When Trudy and Richard set out to set a Guinness World Record, there were a lot of hurdles, a number of set backs and challenges. And yet, they kept going. They kept pursuing their dream of ‘doing it’.

And in the end, they broke through the barriers, broke through the resistance we so often come up against when we state our goal and others look at it and say, “Why bother?” In the end, 232 people came out to support them in breaking 204 boards that would set the Record and, help AKF Break the Cycle of domestic violence.

And that’s the thing… No one can take away the achievement of ‘setting the Record’ and, nothing will ever change the actions they took to create the possibility of it happening.

Those actions, those steps they took and bridges they crossed and hurdles they overcame, they can never be changed.

They could have done nothing. They chose otherwise.

Either way — they cannot change what they did.

And that’s the thing about making a difference.

We can sit back and do nothing. We can continue on, motoring through our day, doing the steps, doing the ordinary things of life. And when an idea comes along to do something different, to create change, we can look at it and say, ‘oh look, there’s an interesting idea’, and then move along without picking it up.

Or, we can be aware, be conscious of the possibility for change, for difference making. We can see the idea and say, let’s do it! Let’s give life to this idea and see what happens next!

Trudy and Richard didn’t know if the record would be set — they needed to break 200 boards at one time to set it. But, it did not deter them. They kept taking the steps, putting one idea in front of the last and moving closer to their goal.

And they got there. They set the record and they helped break the cycle of domestic violence by raising awareness and over $30,000.

What an amazing achievement.

What a difference they make!

At meditation last night, I was once again reminded of the power of Love. That truly, the only difference we can make in our lives, in someone else’s life, in the world, is to be Love with all our being.

I am not powerful enough to change someone else’s life. I do not have their answers. I do not know their truth. All I can do is radiate that which I am, that which I have in limitless supply, that which is all I need to know my true self — Love.

The knowing was clear throughout my meditation. It radiated through my being. Expanding outward from my heart in ever-expanding ripples of Love.

It seems so simple. So trite.

Be Love.

Yet, when I am Love, I am all that I want to be. For Love encompasses my all — joy, peace, humility, caring, tenderness, compassion, empathy, creativity, kindness…

All that I want to be, all that I dream of being, is all ready known. It already is. And to access it. All I need to be is … Yup. You got it. Love.

Yesterday morning, as I drove downtown, I came to the intersection of my street and the busy thoroughfare I need to turn left onto to get out of our neighbourhood and downtown. In front of me at the intersection was another car. A man sat behind the wheel waiting for a break in traffic to turn left onto the main road. It can be a busy street, but there are inevitable breaks in traffic, and because there’s a bus stop on the right hand side, there’s a cross walk.

Sure enough, though the road was busy, a pedestrian was crossing to get to the bus stop.

And the traffic stopped in both directions.

And the man in front of me….

did nothing.

He waited.

And missed his chance.

Seriously? Traffic is stopped. The intersection is clear. Go why don’t you?

I bet he was on his cell phone!  I bet he wasn’t driving hands free!

Idiot.

yeah. seriously. I called him an Idiot. In fact, what I said, out loud,  was, “You idiot!”

And I stopped.

Oh my. What was I thinking? What was I doing? Who was I being?

I looked up through the glass of my sunroof and said aloud to the clouds above, “Bless him. Forgive me.”

I think I imagined a few drops of rain fell onto my sunroof in that moment as if the angels were crying for my momentary lapse in being aligned with the universal forces of Love. Peace. Harmony and Joy.  🙂

Okay. So that was just a flight of whimsy.

But my lapse in being Love was not whimsy.

It was real.

And all I could do was acknowledge it. And begin again.

Always begin again.

It only takes a moment to be pulled from my essential path of being Love. It only takes a moment to let ego have its way, to let anger act out, to let frustration have a voice. And in that moment, every things shifts. And in that shift, the ripple I am radiating is none too harmonious. In fact, it’s downright discordant!

It was a good wake up call.

I am human. I am perfectly imperfect in all my human being and doing.

And sometimes. I’m impatient.

Aren’t I fascinating!

I had a lapse in remembering who I am at my core yesterday (actually I had a few more afterwards but none of them so explicit as that moment when I expressed aloud my unjust thoughts about a fellow human being and judged them harshly.)

I am perfectly human. I am perfectly imperfect.

I am. Human in all my perfections and imperfections.

At an intersection yesterday, I was reminded that to make a difference I must be who I am at my core. And at my core is, Love.

Namaste.

C.C. is cleaning the garage and so I move my car onto the street. It’s about the most help I can provide given my back is still ‘fragile’.  As I come down the street and wait at the corner for a van to pass before pulling a u-turn to park in front of our house, I notice something fall onto the pavement across the road from our house. It looks like a bird and I wonder if it was hit by the van that just drove by.

When I get out and cross the street to see, I discover it’s not one bird but two. What looked like a large bird flapping on the ground is actually a momma bird frantically trying to get her chickadee to fly. Momentarily, as I approach, both birds lift up and fly, but quickly crash back to the pavement. Frightened of my presence, the momma bird flies up into an overhanging tree branch. She clings to the branch, hopping from one stem to another, squawking furiously to her child on the road to fly away, fly away, fly away.

I call for C.C. who comes out to help, but as he crosses the road, a van pulls up the curb and a woman gets out. In her hands she’s holding a plastic container with a lid.

“It just flew straight into my windshield,” she says as she approaches where I am standing beside the bird. C.C. bends down and picks up the chick. It is breathing. There is blood on its beak. It’s tiny heart is thumping wildly in its chest.

It is so tiny. So delicate. So fragile. So beautiful.

“I came back so we could take it to the SPCA,” the woman says. In the backseat of her van a young boy sits watching us, his eyes wide. “I promised my son we would take care of the bird. “She pauses. Looks at the tiny body lying in C.C.’s hand. “I didn’t think she’d fly straight into my window. they usually dart away when you drive by. I didn’t realize it was just a chick.”

And she tells us of rescuing a hummingbird at their cottage. “I didn’t think it would live, but it did,” she says.

And I am grateful.

And I am sad.

She will take care of the chick.

But we can’t do anything for the mother who has not stopped her incessant squawking in the tree above us. She is frantic.

There is nothing we can do for her. Nothing we can say.

We have no choice but to put her chick into the plastic container and let the woman take the chick to the SPCA.

And I wonder about the momma. Even if the chick makes it, will they ever be reunited? Will she ever see her child again?

I try to talk to her in the tree. I tell her we are trying to save her chick, but she flits to a branch further away from me, her fear of humans real and palpable.

And the woman drives away with the chick and the momma bird stays in the tree and we return to our backyard.

It only took one moment for a bird to fall from the sky. And in that moment, its life was made different at the intersection of its world with our human existence. The woman could not have avoided contact and in the end, she did the right thing, the only thing she could do that would make a difference for that young chickadee. She rescued it.

And still, my heart is heavy. My heart knows a mother’s heart is broken when her chicks fly from the nest and fall. And even thought my heart knows the only difference we can make is to help them get back up again, I wonder how that mother’s heart will mend.

I watched a mother bird desperately try to get her chick to fly after it crashed to the earth yesterday. I heard her entreaties, watched her frantically try to get her chick to fly again and I was reminded of the fragility and the sacredness of our lives and the sacred trust that is the bond between mother and child.

We are all like that little bird learning to fly free. Sometimes, we fall. And when we do, sometimes what we need most is a helping hand to get us back up again.

As you go through your day, are there people you meet who only need a gentle touch or soft voice to help them fly? Share what you can and know you are making a difference.

It is Saturday, and while everyday is a day to celebrate heroes in our midst, today is the day I name just a few of the heroes I know.

Last year at this time, I felt the sadness of the passing of one man who had made a difference in our world. It wasn’t  because he gave his money to charity, or had built an empire. There are no streets named after this man, or buildings erected in his honour. This man was a humble man. A man of little means. A man for whom making a difference meant sharing his time as a volunteer as much as he could at the place where he lived – a homeless shelter. Terry Pettigrew passed away on May 30, 2011. For the months prior to his death, he spoke up and for, those for whom society is not always a welcoming place. In the final weeks of his life, Terry reconnected with a brother he hadn’t seen in 34 years. And in that connection, a family was reunited, history was redirected, and hearts were healed.

Terry Pettigrew and his brother Larry are heroes.

On Thursday, the one year anniversary of Terry’s death, Sean French of the Community Action Committee (a group of 140 agencies working together to end homelessness every day in our city) posted a link to the MacLean’s article that was published last year about the life and times of Terry Pettigrew. I was touched to see that Sean remembered. And, in Sean’s remembering, I was reminded of the depth of the heart and soul of those working to end homelessness. While shelters play a role in keeping people safe, we must never accept them as ‘the answer’ to homelessness. We must never accept that shelters are the only way. Through the effort and commitment of people like Sean who work tirelessly to ensure there is a way home for those who have lost their way to the streets, it is possible that one day, in the not too distant future, we will be able to say, “Homelessness died today. It’s had its day.  It is done.”

Sean French and all those working to end homelessness are heroes.

A young family died last week on a lonely stretch of road along the Alberta/Saskatchewan border. A father, mother and 18 month old son were tragically lost in what is being called a murder suicide. As happens in these situations, we wonder – how could this have happened? How safe are our families? I am currently working part-time as the interim director of communications for an amazing place – Calgary Counselling Centre. If we are to stop family violence, stop depression from taking lives, stop abuse and the breakdown of our families, we need places like CCC so that when people need help, it is available. No waiting. No economic constraints. No judgments. In the wake of the deaths, Christine Berry, who heads up the Family Violence program at the CCC, provided media with insight about  depression and family violence. She dispelled myths. Provided facts and ensured everyone knew – there is hope and there is help. We may not be able to stop all such tragedies from happening – though it’s an important goal to strive towards – but we can breakdown the stigma of mental health. We can ensure people know there is help and it’s okay to ask for it.

Christine Berry and everyone at CCC and all those working to end family violence and domestic abuse are heroes.

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My internet at home is sporadic and until Wednesday when Shaw is coming to fix it, will continue to be so. It’s interesting being without it — interesting and enlightening. It is nice, and good, sometimes to disconnect!

See everyone tomorrow.

Have a beautiful and wonder-filled Sunday.

My Internet is down, my back is out and I am typing on my IPhone. Shaw can’t send someone to fix my Internet until Wednesday and I can’t comfortably move around until my back calms down!  But… I have written today’s Heroes in our midst a d will post once Cc is up and we go off to a coiffed shop with wi-fi!

Be back later. In the meantime, watch out for heroes. They Are everywhere! And they make the world a better place.

Naneste