Month 2 of my year-long ALove Poem a Day project begins!
Yesterday, while walking the shore, I got stuck on that famous Hollywood line from Love Story: “I love you means never having to say you’re sorry.”
It’s a beautiful romantic myth. It’s also not true.
This week’s post is a deep dive into why that cliché is so dangerous, and why saying “I’m sorry” is actually one of the strongest commitments you can make in love.
Why the fear of not having a purpose is holding you back—and how to find freedom in every single act.
We talk a lot about purpose. We talk about finding it, earning it, and living it. But in our obsession with finding a purpose, we often trap ourselves in a constant state of anxiety and comparison. We get stuck in an unhealthy emotional morass, believing others have a grander purpose than we do—or that we have non at all. This leads to a cascade of negative beliefs: I’m not good enough. I don’t make a difference. I’ll never measure up. I don’t matter.
The fear of not having a purpose often propels us into dead-end streets and chaos corners. It compels us to keep searching, to never let our guard down, and to stand vigilant for some grand purpose to float by so we can claim it. We tell ourselves, “I’ll finally matter when I find my purpose!”
What if you don’t have to search for purpose? What if all you need to do is live on purpose?
The Heavy Load of Finding Your Purpose
Countless books have been written about finding your purpose. We often see purpose as “what we do in the service of others,” as if it’s a monumental job description we must earn. Yet, what we do in service is simply a reflection of how we live our lives every day, in alignment with our values, principles, and beliefs.
The other night, while having dinner with my two daughters, we went around the table and shared a unique quality we admired in one another. When it was my turn, both of my daughters said, “You have a unique ability to meet people where they’re at and see the good in them.”
My heart felt so light. Since retiring and moving to a quiet Gulf Island, I’ve struggled with the question, “How do I live my purpose when I’m not ‘out there’ in the world, making a difference?” Hearing my daughters’ words, I realized I am making a difference just by showing up in my world every day with an open and loving heart and mind. By being fully present, I am both living my purpose and living on purpose.
There’s great relief in that acceptance. A feeling of spaciousness and possibility. I’ve accepted that my purpose doesn’t have to be some grandiose idea of healing the sick or solving world poverty. It’s simply to live my best, in every moment of every day, so my ripple is one of love, joy, and harmony. In this act, I gift myself peace of mind, body, and heart. And from that space, living on purpose feels easy, and the world around me feels calm and accepting.
The Lightness of Living on Purpose
One of the biggest differences between having a purpose and living on purpose is that having a purpose is passive, while living on purpose is active.
A purpose can be a goal—a destination to reach. Goals are important, but when they’re the singular focus and not rooted in our values, we can lose sight of our impact on the world. Hyper-focused on attainment, we can believe our goal is all that matters – and everyone else better get out of our way.
Living on purpose, however, demands our full engagement with life. It’s an intentional practice that requires our attention. It’s the realization that everything we do, say, create, and think has a ripple effect.
If you want your ripple to be an invitation to others, you must be conscious of the waves you make.
Living on purpose is not about the things you acquire or the goals you achieve; it’s about how you live your life. Living on purpose illuminates the world all around you. And in that brilliance, your light becomes a beacon of hope for others.
Practical Steps for Living on Purpose
It’s easy to live on purpose when you know the values, principles, and beliefs that guide your every action, word, and thought. Clarity of what matters most will automatically underpin everything you do, creating space for you to live intuitively and intentionally.
Here are three simple, actionable steps to start living your purpose right now:
Clarify Your Values: Your purpose is built on your values. Take some time to identify what matters most to you—things like honesty, compassion, creativity, or courage. Ask yourself, “What do I stand for?” Then, write down a list of five or six values that resonate deeply with you. Ask yourself, “How do I live this? For example: The cashier at the grocery store misses charging you for an item. Do you let them know? If honesty is one of your core values, letting them know is never in doubt.
Knowing your values provides a personal compass for your actions.
Conscious Action: Connect your values to your actions. For example, if a driver cuts you off, you can choose to respond with your value of compassion instead of anger. A simple, “Bless them. Forgive me. Forgive them. Bless me,” can restore your equilibrium far faster than endlessly muttering under your breath. (And yes, ‘forgive me’ is important because if you’re human, you probably had a not-so-nice thought or two about them when they cut you off.) This reinforces the idea that every act becomes an expression of your purpose.
When we live on purpose, our values take centre stage.
Embrace the Ripple Effect: Recognize that every action has a ripple. One word shouted in anger can create shockwaves of unease. One word spoken in kindness can resonate like a single harp string pulled in a room full of harps creating a ripple of harmony.By consistently acting from a place of integrity, your positive influence naturally expands. Focusing on conscious living is far more sustainable and fulfilling than constantly searching for a monumental purpose.
To make a difference, live true to your values, principles and beliefs.
Is there a step that feels most accessible to you today? Please share your thoughts and inspire others to live on purpose.
“The world is a cancer, and my soul is the knife with which I will cut it out.”
The Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller
I read the news and I want to cry. So much pain, suffering, anger, and angst consume our world. Yet, amidst it all, there is still so much beauty.
I cannot deny the pain and suffering any more than I can deny the profound beauty of this world—its people, animals, and natural wonders. All of it, beautiful. All of it, capable of profound kindness or deliberate cruelty, thoughtful connection or careless disregard, collaboration or obstruction, honesty or deceit. We are capable of all of it. We hold the power to choose: will we align ourselves with Love or with Evil?
Years ago, I met a man who dismissed my belief in the inherent goodness of humanity as a weakness. “You are so naive to believe evil does not exist,” he scoffed. I countered, affirming that I knew evil existed, but believed Love was greater and would ultimately prevail, cutting it out. He then spent nearly five years proving me wrong. By the end of that relationship, I doubted the very existence of love, but I knew the presence of evil intimately.
When he was arrested and I miraculously got my life back, I chose to heal the massive wounds I’d experienced with Love. It was the only force strong enough to save me from despair. Since those days of post-traumatic love—which was, in truth, abuse—I had relaxed my guard against evil. I chose instead to believe that if I simply stayed the course of Love, evil would not prevail.
I’ve had a rude awakening. Evil is afoot. It flexes its muscles across the globe, beguiling those who underestimate its power. It masquerades as benevolence, as all-knowing wisdom, as pure justice—the rightful avenger of wrongs spanning decades, even centuries. It promises to right the ship, but only if we, its unwitting acolytes, remain silent, immobile, complacent, and complicit in its insistent claim that it is the sole path to our salvation.
There is no salvation in following evil. There is no Hail Mary that will rescue humankind from its voracious jaws. Evil wants only to consume goodness, to devour love and corrupt its delicate essence into the fires of hell. It seeks to make humanity bow at its altar and sacrifice all that is good, kind, beautiful, and humane about our shared human condition.
I cannot bow. I must wake up. Awakened, I cannot stay silent. I cannot allow my angst, my heartache, my despair to silence the one thing I know is greater than evil: Love.
And so I stand strong of back, soft of heart, and call out to all good people to drop their guard and give in to that which is our salvation. Our humanity.
I read the news, and a weariness settles deep within. Heavy words line the page, black print against stark white, blurring and tumbling into a wave of dismay that roils through my mind.
“You are not equipped to handle this,” a voice whispers from somewhere deep inside.
Who is?
Turmoil. Angst. Anger. Fear. These are the emotions that dominate the day.
Tariff wars. Gun wars. Drug wars.
So many wars distort my view of the sun, so many words barricade my heart, holding it hostage in despair.
“Stop reading,” the voice insists.
My heart flutters. Can I? Should I?
What if, in stopping, I become blind to the suffering? What if I become numb to the pain? What if I succumb to the lie that I am powerless?
I am adrift, devoid of answers that can calm the turbulent seas. Seas that overturn lifeboats of global treaties and trade routes. Seas full of angry waves rolling across the land, drowning reason, flooding communities and destroying communities, families, lives and so much more.
I feel powerless to shift the mindsets that perpetuate the illusion of ‘us’ versus ‘them.’ Them out there, whose ways are different but no less valid. Them who speak a foreign tongue or worship at a different altar. Them whose histories are etched with the struggle to rise from poverty, flee violence, find safety, only to face more barriers. Them who are, simply, different.
Yet, I am not powerless to keep my mind open, my heart soft, and my back strong.
I am not powerless in the face of injustice, cruelty, chaos.
I choose to stand true to the belief that we are all important, all matter on this big, round ball circling the sun, year after year. Our orbit is the same as theirs. Our planet, one.
I must step away from the relentless scroll and focus on what I, one individual, can do to create calm in a world of chaos.
That is my mission for today. To plant seeds of kindness, to offer a hand, to listen with empathy. To find the small acts of love that ripple outwards.
We celebrate happiness, its warmth, its allure, its sunshiney nature. We extoll its virtues, chase its fleeting glow, pursue its richness. But what of sadness, its counterpart? We shun it, dismiss it, rush to banish its presence. When someone speaks of the blues, we scramble to lift their spirits, to paint over grey skies with forced sunshine.
But what if the blues held equal value? What if the lows were as essential as the highs? Physics reminds us: for every action, an equal and opposite reaction. Happiness and sadness, then, are not enemies, but inseparable companions, two sides of the same coin. Like magnetic poles they are forever drawn together, creating the emotional field we inhabit.
A woman I know begins each day with deliberate sorrow, twenty minutes of tears before facing the world. A release, a conscious acknowledgment of the pain that surrounds us. “There is so much pain and suffering in this world. So much over which I have little control. My tears are my antidote to helplessness creating much needed grace and space for joy to flow,” she explains. “I can’t go around it. I must go through it.” And so, to journey through sadness, she builds a bridge of tears to carry her to the other side.
On rainy days like today, when the sky is a heavy grey, the wind a mournful cry, the blues invite us to pause, to feel. To surrender.
In these moments, the blues become a necessary antidote to our fears. They remind us of the cyclical nature of life, the inevitable return of light after darkness. Like the tides, life ebbs and flows. To truly embrace its mystery, we must welcome both the sun and the storm, the joy and the blues. We must stop chasing the blues away and welcome in every facet of the richness of our emotional experience awash in the sea of life.
To help you build a bridge through sadness to happiness, here are three simple practices you can implement today:
Embrace Morning Tears: Dedicate a few minutes each morning to acknowledge and release sadness. Start with five minutes of quiet reflection, allowing whatever emotions arise to surface. If tears come, let them flow. If not, simply sit with the feeling, accepting its presence without judgment.
Curate an Emotional Soundtrack: Create a playlist that reflects the full spectrum of your emotions. Begin with songs that resonate with sadness or the blues, allowing yourself to feel those emotions fully. Then, transition to songs that uplift and inspire, creating a journey from sorrow to joy.
Journal Your Blues: Alongside your gratitude practice, create a space to acknowledge your struggles. Write down what upsets you, what makes you feel helpless, or what triggers your sadness. Giving voice to these feelings through writing can be a powerful step towards processing and moving through them.
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This post originally appeared on my SUBSTACK March 19, 2025
I catch my ego in its act of rebellious denial of reality. Wonder Woman defying Ares. Hands on hips. Feet firmly planted. Chest out. Chin up. Defiance personified. I breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Love rushes in.
And in that place, calmness embraces me. Nothing seems impossible. Love ripples through every act.
When worry threatens to steal my joy, I find anchors in the present moment. Join me as I share a personal journey through the shifting tides of life and discover simple practices to cultivate calm amidst the storm.
There was a time, when I thought youth would last forever. In those days, I harboured dreams so outlandish, so far-fetched, I dared not believe in them. Instead, I let them dissolve into clouds of nothing but memory.
There was a time when my knees were strong and my body nimble, where running fast and skiing even faster was the only therapy I needed to wash away the day’s worries. In the exhilaration of feeling the wind against my skin, the earth moving beneath my feet, I felt at one with the world around me, one with the life force surging within me.
Older now, yet many years younger than I want to be when I draw my last breath and my heart loses its beat, I come full circle back to dreaming big dreams. Full circle back to knowing dreams don’t care how fast I go or how many steps I take. They only care that I take a step, and then the next, towards their unfolding.
Some things I’ve let go of to give my body the space it needs to grow older with grace. My knees can no longer run miles and miles. Skiing long ago slid into my rearview mirror as arthritis climbed into the front passenger seat, without first asking permission to share its aches and pains. With arthritis as my constant companion, I know the only way to walk each step pain-free is to take this journey with my dreams as my North Star, their light a beacon of hope and possibility.
Dreams do not rest easy in the dark. They like to take up space in the light of day, clamouring for attention. No matter how many times I have driven this road before, it is my dreams and their unfolding that ignite my passion, that leave me feeling the power of the life force pulsing through me and leave me breathless, begging for more:
Life Vitality Dreams
Today, I am creating new dreams and blowing life into the embers of the ones I let dissolve into clouds so long ago. In the growing power of their luminescence, I hear my heart calling me to dance like no one is watching, to sing like no one is listening, and to live my dreams like my life depends on them. It does. I do.
I am coming home to myself. Coming home to my dreams, whatever they may be. And in my homecoming, I am finding myself coming alive with possibility, hope, and dreaming.
How to reawaken your dreams:
Reconnect with your inner child: What did you love to do as a child? What were you curious about? Revisiting those passions can spark forgotten dreams.
Face your fears: What’s holding you back? Identify those fears and actively work on overcoming them. This could involve therapy, journaling, or simply taking small steps outside your comfort zone.
Create a vision board: A visual representation of your dreams can be incredibly powerful. Gather images, quotes, and anything that inspires you and create a board to remind you of what you’re striving for.
Surround yourself with inspiration: Read books, watch movies, listen to podcasts, and connect with people who are living their dreams. This can help reignite your own passion and motivation.
Practice mindfulness: Being present in the moment allows you to connect with your intuition and inner wisdom, which can guide you towards your dreams.
Start small: Break down your dreams into smaller, achievable goals. This makes the journey less daunting and allows you to celebrate your progress along the way.
Embrace failure: See setbacks as learning opportunities, not reasons to give up. Every “failure” brings you one step closer to success.
Dream outlandish dreams: Don’t let reality curb your dreaming. Dream big, bold, and audacious dreams! Then, take a step towards them. You’ll never know what will happen next until you dare to take that first step.
Believe in yourself: This is perhaps the most important step. Trust that you have the power to achieve your dreams, no matter how big or small.
Six days into the new year and it already feels like a rocky start. I’ve slipped on all levels of my commitment to self-care and fostering calm. It’s as if the moment the calendar flipped to January 1st, some invisible switch was thrown, and the pressure to be better, do better, achieve more, kicked the critter chatter in my mind into high gear as my inner wise woman slipped into reverse.
Yesterday, I succumbed to the siren song of junk food. The rain was coming down in sheets as I drove back from Victoria, the early morning ferry (6:20 am – ouch!) catching up with me. Each mile felt longer, each raindrop a tiny hammer against the windshield. By the time I reached Duncan, the golden arches of self-indulgence were glowing like a beacon of comfort, and the gremlin on my shoulder was whispering promises of salty, greasy satisfaction. Resistance crumbled.
And it’s not just the diet. 10,000 steps? More like 10,000 excuses. Between ferrying C.C. to Seattle and navigating the labyrinth of Canadian customs and residency paperwork, my Fitbit has been gathering dust. The book? Those 1000 words a day are mocking me from the blank page.
I find myself making excuses, defending my actions as if I’m in front of a judge. Why this need to justify? Is it the fear of being judged, of not living up to some impossible standard of “New Year, New Me”? Or is it something deeper, a fear of failing myself, of not being disciplined enough, strong enough to stick to my resolutions?
Perhaps the real struggle isn’t with the self-care itself, but with the expectations I’ve piled upon myself. Maybe calm isn’t something to be achieved, but a state of being, a way of approaching life that I need to rediscover. Maybe it’s time to take off these judgmental glasses and see the world, and myself, with a little more kindness.
Maybe, rather than loading myself up with expectations and then giving my inner critic free rein to criticize my perceived “lack” of progress, commitment, or achievement—obscuring my gratitude like a dark cloud hiding the sun—maybe I need to step fully into gratitude. Maybe I need to choose to celebrate the beauty, wonder, and awe that already exist in my world.
Perhaps counting moments that take my breath away, instead of milestones that constantly raise the bar higher, will help me focus on taking one step at a time towards my goals. And maybe, just maybe, all I need to keep my steps moving gently and calmly forward is to carry gratitude in my heart—gratitude for the journey, for the present moment, and for the abundance that surrounds me.
What about you? What would it look like to silence your inner critic and embrace the gift of this moment?
The word that has found me for 2025 is CALM. Living here at the ocean’s edge, where the waves crash and whisper against the shore in their ever-shifting dance, CALM feels like a powerful anchor, a guiding star.
As I sat in meditation, contemplating this word, its essence seeped into my soul, hushing the clamour of my thoughts. CALM, I realized, is not a destination but a way of being, a gentle unfolding. For me, CALM represents:
Clarity: Seeking clarity in my thoughts, actions, and decisions, I invite peace to bloom within and radiate outwards.
Alignment: Aligning my actions with my values, I weave a tapestry of inner harmony.
Lightness: Cultivating a lightness of being, I allow joy and ease to flow through me like the tide.
Mindfulness: Rooted in the present moment, I create fertile ground for CALM to blossom and flourish.
Looking back on 2024, especially the whirlwind that followed our decision to leave Calgary and embrace island life, I recognize that CALM was often elusive. Amidst the chaos of sorting, packing, and moving, amidst the bittersweet farewells and the daunting unknowns, CALM took a backseat to the relentless demands of “getting it done.” In that frenzied focus, I lost touch with my inner sanctuary.
But now, I whisper, “Hello 2025.”
I am beginning anew. Beginning again to breathe in the salty dawn, to find the stillness within, and to radiate peace like the soft glow of sunrise.
Three months have passed since we arrived on Gabriola, though with visits to my loved ones in Calgary and Vancouver, I’ve spent a precious month away. As I reflect on this new beginning, I realize that two months is but a blink of an eye in the grand tapestry of time. I breathe deeply, releasing the anxious whispers that urge me to “settle in” faster, to do more, to be more.
My monkey mind, ever restless, has been chattering lately, insisting that I “get more done,” that I “get focused,” that I “get cracking.” But the truth is, I have accomplished much in these three months. Our home is cozy, most of the boxes are unpacked, and a sense of belonging is slowly taking root.
I adorned our home with festive cheer, baked cookies and cakes, and crafted small gifts from the heart. I even wrote two short stories, now whispering to be edited, and rekindled the flame of a book begun during my Irish adventure in the fall of 2023.
A dear friend once gently suggested I be kinder to myself, that I release the unreasonable demands I place upon my time and energy. At the time, I laughed, quick to assure her that I was indeed kind to myself. But in this nascent year, in this embrace of CALM, I recognize the wisdom in her words. CALM requires me to let go of expectations I would never impose on another. It is an invitation to surrender to the gentle rhythm of life, to savour each day as the precious gift it is.
Hello 2025. I am here, present and ready to embrace you, with open arms and a tranquil heart.
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If you have found your word for 2025 and would like to share it, please do in the comments below! Perhaps your word will inspire others…
Dare Boldly 