I met Sheryl Hinds at dinner one night when I was going to the Deva Premal/Miten concert. We connected through the brilliance of our mutual friend Judy Atkinson and recognized kindred spirits in eachother.

And then, Sheryl created the Chroning Ceremony which I wrote about a few weeks ago. What a gift she is to the world.

Today, Sheryl shares her gifts with us here as the Sunday Guest Blogger. Thank you Sheryl. Your light illuminates beauty all around.

Seeing Through The Eyes of Peace

Let’s choose to wear the hat of peace, and those rose coloured glasses of love.  It shapes us powerfully, profoundly.  It all begins with us. 

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To find out more about Sheryl and her amazing work, please visit her website:    www.sherylmhinds.ca   — her contact info is there as well.

There’s always time to celebrate heroes in our midst. It’s important we do.

Yesterday, I spoke at the 5th Annual Blue Friday Conference held at a high school here in Calgary. Organized by PMAST (Peer Meditation and Skills Training), Blue Friday is all about bullying — and how to stop it, shift it, end it. Winston Blake, Managing Director of PMAST kicked off the event with an amazing keynote address where he encouraged everyone to know and believe — It begins with me. No matter the situation; shifting it, changing it, enlightening it, begins with me. I have the power. The capacity. The ability to create positive change. We all do.

Winston Blake, Ian Tuckey, event organizer, Florence Lye, coordinator and all the speakers and volunteers who shared their time and talents are heroes.

In my session at PMAST yesterday I was deeply moved by some of the stories the youth shared. “What happens when the bully is your parents?” one youth asked, and I wanted to cry. What happens is what I saw everyday at the homeless shelter where I used to work. Men and women who never had the opportunity to expand into their greatness because the adults in their life when they were children never knew greatness either. Hurting people hurt people. To stop, we must stop the hurt within. We must quit acting out our pain upon the ones we love, the children who have been entrusted to our care. We must stop destroying the promise of our youth and celebrate life. Our life. Their life. Every life.

The youth who had the courage to stand up and give voice to their pain, and their promise, so that they can make a difference, so that they can end abuse and bullying, are heroes.

Kathy Christensen has worked with Alpha House Society for over 19 years, creating possibilities in the world of homelessness and addictions. Yesterday I visited with her at Madison — an apartment building Alpha House manages on behalf of Calgary Homeless Foundation (CHF). At Madison, formerly homeless veterans have found a safe, secure and welcoming place to call home. And what an amazing place it is. Dave, a client I knew at the shelter where I used to work, greeted me with a hug and an invitation to come and see his apartment. With great pride, he opened the door, showed me around, described what he was doing with the decor and how important it was to him to have this place to call home. In the ‘common room’, Andy shared the peanut butter cookies he’d just made and talked about his life in the military. I was awed and moved.

Kathy Christensen, all the staff at Alpha House as well as CHF, the veterans who live at Madison, John Lundgren of Calgary Police Service who worked so hard to create awareness around veterans and homelessness and all those who have worked to make a difference are heroes. 

On Thursday morning I gave a United Way speak at the Cargill meat processing plant in NE Calgary. Standing in the cafeteria in front of almost 200 people, I gazed around the room and saw the global impact of war and strife in other nations. Before I began I asked the crowd, “How many of you were born in Canada?” Not one hand was raised amidst the people sitting in the audience. Of the supervisors standing in the back, a few raised their hands. But that was it. And I wondered, who would do these jobs without the willingness of these individuals who have withstood war and famine, poverty, homelessness and displacement, to do whatever it takes to create a better life for themselves and their children? I was also impressed with management’s commitment at Cargill to encourage their staff to give back to community. Like many of the oil and gas companies in our city, Cargill matches dollar for dollar every donation employees make.

The staff and management at Cargill are heroes.

And, because I like to leave you with an inspiring video every Saturday morning, I share the following gem from the United Way of Calgary and Area’s website. Along with volunteers, they are sharing digital stories of hope and possibility. This is one created by two young women — may you be moved to take action. may you be inspired to make a difference.

This is the second-to-last Friday of November. Black Friday to some. Blue Friday to others. It is also, the second-to-last Friday of Family Violence Prevention Month.

Family violence kills. Spirit. Hope. Dignity. Trust. Life.

Last night, I attended a fundraiser put on by the Campaign Associates of the United Way of Calgary. It was wonderful to spend time amidst these caring and committed individuals who organize the events at which I speak almost daily. Many of them are ‘on loan’ from Calgary corporations for the 4 months of the fall campaign. All of them are funded by Calgary corporations. All of them make a difference.

What was significant for me about this event however wasn’t just the people, it was the place.

It was held at a venue where, once upon a time, I tried to end the relationship that was killing me.

It was fall, 2002. Life was spiralling out of control and I was falling. I had no money, no job, no home. My daughters were living with their father and I was falling further and further into the darkness.

‘The man’ was clinging to me in a desperate attempt to have life look as if it was normal. I don’t remember where he was living, but I was staying between the home of one of my dearest friends and at the time, house-sitting another friend’s house in the same townhome complex in which she lived.

I wasn’t sure what would happen next. ‘The man’ kept promising to make it all right. He kept promising that he would fix it, get my home back, get all my belongings out of storage, get me stable once again.

I didn’t really believe him but I couldn’t quit listening to his promises. I was so tired. So lost. So helpless.

And then, he made a scene. We had gone to a local pub (the same one as last night)  for a drink and he acted out, accusing me of flirting with another man in the bar. Yelling at me for destroying his life. Calling me names.

I left. Grabbed my coat and walked out.

I walked and walked in the cold, dark night.

The pub was only a couple blocks from the river, about a twenty-minute walk from where I was house-sitting.

I walked down to the river and along the path that skirts its shoreline. I don’t remember if there was a moon, or if the stars shone. There was snow on the ground. The air was frosty.

I felt so hopeless.

I wanted him to follow me. I wanted him to leave me alone. I wanted him to disappear. I wanted to vanish.

At one point, I took a path down to the water’s edge and sat on a rock watching the water flow past. I imagined what would happen if I could simply fall into the water. I imagined what it would be like if I could disappear. I knew his presence was choking me. I knew being with him was driving me crazy, that there was no truth in anything he said. And I knew I was lost and had to do something to find myself again.

Somewhere in that relationship he had given me a heart-shaped ring set with tiny diamonds. I had worn that ring ever since he’d given it to me in the belief that as long as I wore it he would not disappear from my life and my daughters lives would be safe.

Sitting beside the river that night, I knew I had to let go.

I took the ring off and hurled it into the river.

I broke the ties. In that act I rebelled against the bonds that tied me so fast to his deceit and abuse.

I walked back to the house where I was staying. I let myself in and went to bed.

It was over.

And then, the doorbell rang.

I didn’t want to answer it. I told myself not to.

But he started yelling. Pounding upon the wooden barrier that stood firm between us.

I capitulated. I told myself I didn’t want to wake the neighbours. I didn’t want him to cause a scene.

I told myself I would let him in just so I could tell him it was over. I didn’t care about the money, the home, the stuff. I wanted free.

It would be six long, terrifying months before I got free again.

I remember that night. It was the night I gave up on me completely. It was the night he threw back at me everything I had ever told him about my life for which I held shame or sadness or regret. In the reminding me of all my misgivings, he affirmed my deepest fear. I was not worthy.

I lost my spirit that night. I lost my direction completely in the darkness of knowing, I was not worthy.

It is the reality of these relationships that take such a toll. To be abused we must believe abuse is all we’re worth. We must believe they are right, we are wrong. We must give up on ourselves, and give into the who they tell us we are, what they tell us we’re worth.

To be abused we must believe in the one who abuses us.

And it is in that belief we die.

Abuse hurts. Stop it.

I heard an amazing woman speak last night. She was exciting. Inspiring. Uplifting. She was herself.

I’ve known Michelle Cameron Coulter for several years through my work with the United Way. I’ve known of her brilliance but never heard her speak. Last night I was blessed to chat with her and listen to her share her story.

Michelle is an Olympic Gold Medalist and six time world Champion in synchronized swimming. Excessively fearful of water, she didn’t start synchronized swimming until she was 13 years old.

It didn’t matter. Age had nothing to do with it. Her fear of water was simply a roadblock to be moved.  Spirit. Commitment. Drive. Determination. And a, ‘can do’ attitude are what counted in her journey to gold.

I went to Women Embracing Brilliance, an event/organization created by the amazing Karen Klassen, out of curiosity and the fact a friend emailed me to ask if I was going. It was kind of a comedy of errors. My friend thought I was going because I was part of the group and had attended before. I thought she was going because she had gone before.

I like mistakes because they’re never really mistakes. We met at the event and spent a good part of the evening chatting and sharing and connecting. And that was the best part — spending time with a brilliant woman I really enjoy and admire.

Karen, the event organizer, is a woman of great heart and enthusiasm. She is committed to celebrating women, to making a difference by encouraging other women to join her in her quest to touch the lives of a million women in the world and open their eyes to see their brilliance. Like Michelle, Karen is committed to reach her goal.

And roadblocks in the way, just don’t matter. They’re meant to be navigated, surmounted, moved and set aside. Roadblocks test us. They must not stop us.

That was the message I got last night. That no matter what appears in your path, look for the way, around it, over it, through it. Do not let it stop you from achieving your goals. Do not lose sight of your dreams.

It was an important message for me to hear.

I have a book I started at the beginning of the year when I finished working at the shelter, “Lessons in Love: Everything I know about being human I learned at a homeless shelter“, and I have been stalled.

No time. Too busy. Other ideas to explore. Lots of client work to complete. A life to live. yada yada yada.

You know the drill. Life is happening and I keep letting it get in the way of working on this book.

Roadblocks don’t matter.

I believe in this book.

I believe in the importance of why I’m writing it and the impact it can have.

The book contains 8 very important life lessons — 1. We are all connected. 2. There is no us and them. 3. Forgive and set yourself free. 4. Learn from the broken places. 5. Always begin again. 6.  Giving is receiving. 7. We are all magnificent. 8. Love is the answer.

To highlight each lesson I share stories of my experiences working at the shelter. Human stories. Real stories of lives on the other side of the street that speak to our shared humanity, our common human condition, our forgotten beauty and magnificence.

And I have stalled.

I have let what’s happening all around me pull me from my goal.

Time to get real.

Time to let go of my excuses and step into my power to create that which I want more of in my life — a world of beauty, truth, peace, harmony and joy, within and all around me.

It’s important, for me, that I complete this book. It’s important not just because of the power of these stories to touch hearts and open minds. It’s important because I feel accomplished, happy, fulfilled, satisfied, I feel like a winner when I reach my goals, complete tasks I’ve set out for myself.  I know the impact ‘completion’ has upon my spirit and I am responsible for creating what I want in my world, within and all around me.

Not finishing is a self-defeating game.  Not finishing, or working on it, keeps me in that place where the ‘critter’ gets to whisper in my ear those stories I tell myself when I’m not feeling like I’m living my best — you know, stories like…. loser. You can’t finish anything. You’re a starter, never a finisher…  Stories that would have me live down to my lesser good, forgetting my capacity to live up to my higher greatness.

Enough.  To make a difference in the world I must begin with me.

Time to Breathe and begin again. Always begin again — with a grateful and loving heart.

Thank you Michelle Cameron Coulter and Karen Klassen.  You touched my heart, inspired my imagination and ignited my brilliance.

In sharing your brilliance I am reminded to shine and share mine.

I have been presenting a series of workshops to Calgary Police on homelessness. Every Tuesday morning, I work with different officers on perceptions, views, ideas, opinions around homelessness.

It is enlightening.

It is inspiring.

It is uplifting work.

There was a time when I wondered if ‘authority’ would ever get it. When I thought, seriously guys, kicking someone when they’re down is not going to encourage them to get back up again, or even to believe they have the capacity to get back up again. Don’t you care?

I had a lot of judgments.

In letting my judgments go, I’ve encountered truth. Police officers do care. Very much. My experience is that officers want to make a difference. They want to play a role in ending homelessness in our city. And they are.

Yesterday, we talked about Calgary’s Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness.

The consensus from those who work on our streets — Housing First, one of the tenets of the Plan where chronically homeless are provided housing and from there, the wrap-around services necessary to integrate them back into community, is working. Where once they saw the same, chronically homeless, usually under the influence people again and again and again, the numbers are way down.

It’s working.

We are all in this together.

We all have a role to play in ending homelessness.

What’s yours?

Perhaps, your role is simply shifting your beliefs, or perceptions about ‘who’  these people are experiencing homelessness. Maybe, all it requires for you to become engaged is to not call homeless individuals lazy, or drunks, or good-for-nothing. Maybe, it’s all about letting go of your judgments and simply allowing space for compassion to enter. Our thoughts create energy in the world and when our thoughts are focused on all that is wrong with this picture, what we see is always a picture that’s wrong.

Perhaps, your role in the continuum of ending homelessness is to donate to an agency, or volunteer your time. Maybe you already ‘get’ that people are not homeless because they had a dream of losing everything to walk our streets without hope of ever finding their way back home again. Maybe you ‘get’ that homelessness is not a dream but someone’s worst nightmare come to life. From that place of compassion you can, as the United Way invites all of us, Give. Volunteer. Act.

We can all make a difference when it comes to ending homelessness. We can all make a difference on our streets.

Working with police officers on homelessness is a gift for me. It moves me. It reminds me — it is not ‘us and them’, it is all of us working together that will make a difference.

Every police officer I have met shares a dream of making our city a better, safer place. They dream of catching criminals, dealing with the ‘bad guys’ and allowing space for everyone else to exist in harmony.

And there’s a role for each of us to play in that dream as well.

One of the things the officers often share is how frustrating it is to be chatting with a visibly homeless person and having everyday citizens walk by and tell them to ‘leave the guy alone,’ or ‘give him a break’.

I’m just trying to check on the guys well-being, the officers will say, or build a relationship, and people get on my case about abusing him. It’s not fair.

There is little that is ‘fair’ in homelessness.

What there is though is lots of room for change, for shift to happen, for miracles to unfold.

We can all make room for miracles. We can all be open to that space where lives shift, where the many awaken to the truth that who they are is not found in a bottle or a crack pipe but in the dignity of being who they were born to be when they get out from under the pain and wounds and self-hatred of their lives lived on the other side of the street.

Miracles happen when each of us awakens to the truth — We are all connected and when one person falls on the street, we all suffer. When one of us judges another, we all judge eachother. And when one of us shifts, everything shifts.

Let’s shift.

On Monday, Calgary Police Service released the first in a three-part mini-documentary series on homelessness on our streets. Originally created as a training piece for recruits and officers, Homeless in Calgary gives a raw and edgie look at the lives of those for whom ‘home’ is not a place where they are safe amidst those they love. For these individuals, home is the street. A dangerous, dark and frightening place to live. In this video, we follow two officers doing what every officer does every day — taking care of those who have lost their way on our streets.

Changing our perspectives makes a difference. Let’s let shift happen. Let’s let miracles unfold. The world will be a different place when we do.

Namaste.

I met Ian Munro in the co-creative circle Kerry Parsons has opened to discuss Essential Living. Over the months of our conversations around what is essential living and how do we move beyond our adapted selves; those selves who cling to anger, resentment, bitterness, self-denigration and all other limiting behaviours, to embrace the essential magnificence of our humanity, we’ve created EssentialU. Our vision is to create a Greenhouse for Essential Living through which we can shift the lives of millions of people from adapted to essential living.

Today, Ian shares his first blog on the basics of Essential Leadership. Please do drop over to Ian’s. I’ve pasted in the beginning of his blog and if you click on the link, you’ll be directed to his brand new site. This is his first blog. Ian is committed to writing about Essential Leadership weekly — please do encourage him. His words are profound, his nature brilliant and his capacity to lead essentially very much needed in our world. Thanks!  And thanks Ian for sharing your brilliance so generously.

One Step In A Journey

by Ian Munro

As I made plans to embark on this self described mission to engage a discussion on the vital nature of leadership, I took some time contemplate the organizations that I have been privileged to be a part of. The greatest memories of each of them is the memories not only of the people themselves but the amazing potential they individually and collectively possessed? The  talents and perspective available to us are truly amazing if we only stop and look.

I don’t think I could have said that two years ago, when i was more interested in competing than collaborating. Back then I had not been introduced to what I now call my essential self. I don’t mean that “self” that always agonized over why my ideas weren’t accepted, or worried how someone else’s actions would affect me, or criticized a co-worker without truly asking what they were trying to accomplish, or filled in the blanks from an email not answered with what could be wrong, not what could be good. and I certainly don’t mean that self that looked for explanations to my own problems in someone else’s flaws… Read More

We are all heroes. Every one of us.

When my daughters were small I wrote them a story about an unhappy caterpillar who wanted to be anything other than a caterpillar. A leaf fairy tries to help him by turning him into a rose, an iris, a daisy, but he doesn’t like any of the options he’s chosen until finally he says, “I want to be a butterfly!”. Poof! she turns him back into a caterpillar. he’s furious. I want to be a butterfly. And the leaf fairy replies, “You are a butterfly. Inside you are a beautiful pair of wings yearning to unfold. But first, you must learn to spin your own dreams.”

We are all like that caterpillar. We want to do great things in the world, to be our most magnificent selves, but we forget. We forget we are. We forget we have wings. We forget to fly free.

We are all heroes. Every one of us.

Standing in the Choices seminar room, watching wings unfold reminds me always that within each of us is the hero of our lives. It’s our gift to live as our heroic selves. Passionate. Caring. Free. Deserving. Whatever it is we choose, we have wings inside us yearning to unfold.

Every trainee in the seminar room is a hero.

Every coach in the room is a hero.

Thelma Box is a hero. 

Thelma is the founder of Choices. It was her dream 29 years ago to create a program that would help single mothers become all that they were meant to be. To know they had the capacity to live their dreams. From Thelma’s dream of helping other women just like her, she has touched thousand of lives and given wings to her dream of “changing the world one heart a t a time.”

Thelma Box is a hero.

Just for today, (who knows, you might like it enough to do it everyday), whenever you pass a mirror, stop and look at yourself. Look deep into your eyes and say out loud, “Hi hero! You are amazing!”

Try it. I know. It’s hard. it feels silly. It feels awkward. It feels all of those things but it is none of those things because… it is the truth.

You are a hero.

You are amazing.

Namaste.

And… to inspire you today I’ve pasted in Mirabai Ceiba singing their song, Ocean. I originally wrote a blog to this piece at Recover Your Joy. “The ocean refuses no river.”   May we all be our greatest hero today and refuse no part of ourselves. May we all know our magnificence.

I wanted to cry. To curl up into a tiny ball and simply let it all out.

But I couldn’t. There were people to talk to. Hands to shake. Congratulations to give, and to receive. I couldn’t just disappear and crash into myself.

So I didn’t. I smiled and shook hands and said things like, “Thank you.” “I’m so glad you were touched.” “How nice of you to say so.”

And while I meant every word, I wasn’t really all there.

Ask C.C. We went out for dinner afterwards and I wasn’t really listening to him as he talked about a Social Enterprise idea he is ruminating over. Fortunately, he knows me well enough to know my zoned out state and glassy eyes were not a reflection of him or his idea and simply a statement of how I get in the let down after an event.

I was tired.

More so probably because I had left the Choices seminar room later than anticipated. The final process which I needed to be there for began a half hour later than expected. It is a pivotal process, the turning point of moving from the surface ideas being explored to enter that fragile and delicate landscape of the heart of why everyone is in the room — to find their path to living a better than just ‘good enough’ life. I couldn’t leave early so, by the time I drove across the city, I was already late for my presentation slot at DesigNite.

The organizers were fabulous. I’d emailed Sarah Block, the coordinator of the event, to let her know that I was running late but wasn’t sure by the time I’d got it sent off if she would receive it. My wonderful and amazing beloved, C.C., had ensured me via text that he would connect with her when he got to the University. When I arrived, they were warm and welcoming and informed me they’d put me at the end of the evening to give me a chance to collect myself and as Gloria, the facilitator said, “Breathe.”

I was grateful for the advice.

Because I did. Breathe.

And in each breath I asked my heart to open itself up to expansion. To widen its capacity to hear and receive and be present.

And in each breath I settled into the space, the room, the people, the event and the purpose of my presentation — to show by my example that life is about living it wholly, completely, unconditionally in love with ourselves, Beauty and the Beast. Darkness and light.

By the time my allocated slot arrived, I was wholly present and ready.

And the words came out and the slides advanced themselves just as they were scheduled to do and the stars aligned and the moon hung suspended, a slim sliver of light carved into the sky guiding me to that special place where I untethered myself from gravity and slipped through the crack of possibility to live my dream of  “touching hearts and opening minds to set spirits free.”

I am so blessed.

I got to live on purpose yesterday. Completely, truly, on purpose. All day.

From the morning coach’s circle to each encounter with the trainees to standing in front of an audience of a couple of hundred people and proclaiming, “I believe in Love.”

And I do.

Believe.

In Love

All is

Possible.

Love makes the difference.

Love is the difference between you and me. It is the difference and the connector. It is the same. For all of us. It is all we need to know that no matter what we do, no matter where we are, no matter what we design, create, accomplish, build, when we do it standing In Love, we do it from that place where we are at and in and of our best, sharing our talents and gifts to create  a world where hearts break free to shine and expand into being their most magnificent selves.

I got to shine my light last night and inspire others to shine theirs. Because I believe that when we all shine together, we have the capacity to create a world of beauty, love, peace and joy for everyone.

I am blessed.

And I don’t want to cry anymore. I want to sing and laugh and dance and spin all about and yell at the top of my lungs for the whole wide world to hear, “Let’s SHINE Together!”