The Awakening List

Have you heard of “Gratitude Lists”? Research confirms that focusing on gratitude increases happiness and joy. I write mine before falling asleep, believing I’ll carry gratitude into my dreams.

Recently, I found a letter my mother wrote to my sisters and me. It was her “good-bye” letter, expressing gratitude and apologizing for any harm she’d caused. “These will be my last words of love you read,” she wrote. “It is time for me to go.” She took her last breath 14 years later.

Life was hard for my mother. As she told me in a visit from the afterlife, “The burdens I carried were too heavy. I never felt free to be myself.” As a child, and beyond, I believed my job was to ‘take the knife out of my mother’s hand.” To be, the good girl, she wanted me to be. Subsequenly, I subconsciously believied I had to conform to others’ will to be liked. Yet, deep within, I knew this was a recipe for a life unlived. Through therapy, courses, journalling, meditation and a host of other self-empowerment supports, I embraced my own agency to live my life on my terms. Yet still, that image of my mother holding a knife to her breast persisted, as did my ping-pong efforts to ‘fit in to be liked’ and to ‘stand out on my own terms’.

Shortly after finding that letter, a dream awoke me to the true power of my freedom. I have long understood that I was never strong enough to take the knife out of my mother’s hand. What my dream awakened was the truth — I am powerful enough to take the metaphorical knife out of mine.

And that brings me to my “Awakening List.” Each morning, I expand my Gratitude List into five Awakenings. For example, this morning i wrote:

  • I awaken to the melody of songbirds. Life is sweet.
  • I awaken to seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. Life is full of lovely surprises.
  • I awaken to my breath filling my lungs. Each breath is a gift of Life and Love.
  • I awaken knowing my dreams have the power to unfold as I step into my own power. I am powerful beyond my wildest imaginings.
  • I awaken to this day with anticipation, excitement, and gratitude. My heart is a joyful place.

This practice opens my mind, heart, and body to the morning’s wonder and beauty, beginning my day with positivity. And, it reminds me of my capacity to be the Shero in my own life.

Do you have a special practice to open each day with wonder and beauty? Please share in the comments below. Let’s ripple out our inspiration to touch the lives of others!

The ripple of gratitude

I spent a big portion of the day yesterday working on the new website for my company, Critical Intent — a challenge at the best of times for non-techy me. But, in the end, I got it working. Now to build the content.

In the process, I relied upon the technical support team at godaddy.com, the hosting company, to guide me through a couple of glitches that were messing with the workings of my website. The two different people I spoke with at godaddy were amazing. They walked me through the processes, helped me fix the glitches not once making me feel like I was stupid, incompetent, or a techno-klutz, which when it comes to geek-speak, I often feel like I am — if not exactly stupid and incompetent, at least a techno-klutz.

After going to a classical guitar concert with a girlfriend, getting home at 10:30 determined to fix the problem and finding someone capable of helping me, I was tired and appreciative of their support. So, I decided to do something about my appreciation.

I wrote an email to the management at godaddy to express my gratitude and admiration for the technical support team. It only took me a moment to express in writing my appreciation for their help and, while I know they’re paid to help, I really appreciate the grace with which they do their job. And, in expressing my gratitude I know it will be on the staff’s employment file for as long as they’re part of the team. And that makes a difference. Q.P. the tech support member who helped me re-direct my URL to the proper site, was amazingly supportive and patient with me as I struggled with FTP site navigation and MySQL updates — seriously? Who knew I had an SQL all of my own?

It doesn’t take much to express gratitude, yet, when we take the time to do it, we send out ripples of appreciation that keep on rippling. In those ripples, making a difference is easy when I respond in gratitude to the difference other’s make in my world.

Namaste.