one word | Dare Boldly

Intersections — Mixed media on watercolour paper 11″ x 14″

For the past several years, every December I meditate with the intention of being open to a word appearing that will be my guiding thought for the following year.

Sometimes, the word struggles to reveal itself as I block the process, pushing and prodding and trying to direct its natural appearance. In my desire to control the process, I test its strength, purpose, presence and put up roadblocks everywhere.

Sometimes, it appears and there is no getting away from it. It just is, and any machinations on my part simply affirm its presence more soundly.

The word for 2017 was such an occurrence. It appeared early in my process and wouldn’t leave. It stuck around, gently pushing me, instead of me prodding it.

As in past years, my intention was to meditate on the word and then, create a painting that represented it. I don’t ‘create’ it as much as it creates itself.

This past weekend was slightly different. I didn’t have an intention of creating a painting of the word. It just happened.

I was in the studio and started playing with my Gelli Print pad (a really fun rubbery pad that let’s you create prints of images – search for Gelli Print on Pinterest and you’ll find lots of references). I didn’t really have an intention for what I was doing. I simply wanted to explore, have fun and be open to whatever happened.

Using a pale yellow tissue paper as my substrate, I printed images on several pieces, experimenting with colour and texture. With some I used a bird stencil. Others, I used string and various shapes. Eventually, I decided I’d created enough prints and moved on to my canvas paper.

And that’s where the fun started.

Gelli Print image used in painting

Underneath the painting you see, is an old painting I wasn’t too fond of. It’s presence informs the process, creating interesting texture and background that would not have been as rich had I not chosen to trust in the process. Included in this painting are cut up pieces of one of my Gelli Print images as well as pieces of grey self-adhesive drywall gridded tape that I decided would be fun to experiment with.

See, often when I paint, I don’t really have a ‘destination’ in mind. I simply have a desire to express my creativity and be open to the process.

For me, that’s where the excitement, the joy and the contentment intersect.

The painting for my 2017 word, INTERSECTION, is the outcome of trusting in the process, leaning into creativity and letting it lead the way. There was no path, no guaranteed outcome, no sure and safe way to do it. There just was ‘the way’.

Which once again affirms that when I trust the process, the way appears.

Namaste.

FLOW
Acrylic on canvas
12″ x 16″
©2015 Louise Gallagher

For the past several years I have meditated on a word that acts as my ‘way-finding’ for the year.

Last year, the word that found me and rested with me throughout the year was, At Onement (atonement). The year before, Rejoice and before that Redemption.

This year, the word that found its way into my being present is, Flow.

I use the phrase, “found me” on purpose. I do not choose the word. The word chooses me. Left to my own devices, I’d probably choose something easier like ‘food’ or ‘fun’.

Allowing space for a word to find me is challenging. My mind wants to take control, to self-direct the process.

My heart knows better.

According to Wikipedia, the “positive psychology” definition of flow is, “Flow, also known as Zone, is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.”

For me, Flow represents even more than just being in the moment, fully engaged. It means giving up my resistance, releasing my grasping for control and surrendering myself to what is, without fearing what might be if I am not dictating the way it must become.

I can be a despot sometimes. Yup. Just ask C.C. or my daughters. Sometimes, I like it all my way.

Funny thing about having it all my way… When it’s all my way there’s no room for anyone else’s way, or even for the Universe to turn up and have its way.

Being in ‘flow’ means, accepting I can let go of control and live in the in possibility of miracles shining all around. For my eyes and heart to be open to seeing miracles all around, I have to be willing to let go of holding the reins so tightly there’s no room for the light to get in.

Even in two short days of living with this word, I can feel the dissonance that happens when my mind chatter wants to overwhelm my heartbeat because it fears the quiet steady drumming of possibility at my door.

No way, it says, snapping at the synapses in my brain. You will not give up control. No. No. Never!

Be strong of heart, my wisdom voice whispers. Control is an illusion. You are not giving up anything.

Oh.

I hadn’t thought of that.

Could it be that my fear of letting go of control is really all about letting go of something that isn’t real?

Hmmm.

In focussing on letting go of control do I simply have to let go of holding onto the impossible?

Can it be so simple?

I’ve got another 363 days to find out.

Every year I create a painting to provide me a visual stimulus for my new word for the year. I created the painting above using a new technique I was trying out for the first time yesterday. It was fun and fascinating and fabulously rewarding to allow the paint to flow!

I am also linking this post to Michelle W.’s Friday prompt at The Daily Post — the invitation was to share a photo of something that speaks to NEW for you. This photo and painting are new for me this year!