Tag Archives: personal-development

Untangling the Threads: Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk

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Have you ever paused to count the negative thoughts that flit through your mind each day? You know the ones: “I can’t…” “What’s wrong with me?” “I just don’t get it.” “Nobody likes me.”

Our minds are a whirlwind of activity, generating an estimated 60,000-80,000 thoughts daily. The unsettling part? Roughly 80% of those thoughts are negative. Yes, even if you consider yourself a positive thinker, a subconscious stream of negativity likely runs beneath the surface.

But here’s the good news: Awareness is the first step towards freedom. By identifying these negative thought patterns, we empower ourselves to make a conscious choice to disempower them.

Moving from unaware to aware to actively choosing a different path is a transformative journey. It requires self-discovery, vulnerability, and a fierce desire to break through the barriers that hold us back. It’s about moving from “playing small” to living our dreams in vibrant, technicolor glory.

3 Simple Steps to Untangle the Threads:

  1. Identify: Start by noticing your negative thoughts. Write them down when they arise. Look for patterns – What triggers them? What themes emerge? Common culprits include “all-or-nothing” thinking, catastrophizing, and disqualifying the positive.
  2. Reframe: Challenge those negative thoughts. Are they really true? What evidence do you have to support them? Can you think of alternative, more positive interpretations? For example, instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I’m learning and growing through this experience.”
  3. Step Away: Don’t engage in a battle with your thoughts. When negativity arises, acknowledge it, reframe it if possible, and then let it drift away. Try visualizing yourself stepping away from those thoughts or imagine them floating away like leaves on a stream.

Remember, this is a process. Be patient and kind to yourself. Each time you catch a negative thought, you’re strengthening your ability to choose a more positive path.

Are you ready to untangle the threads of your inner critic and embrace a brighter, more empowered mindset?

Join me for my free online Masterclass, RADIANT BOLD AGING, 3 Transformative Practices to Ignite Passion & Joy in Your Life Everyday. June 7, 10am (MT). To Register: RADIANT BOLD AGING

Does What You Learned in Your Youth Serve You Today?

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As we grow older, we often realize that some of the lessons and advice we received in our youth don’t serve us as well as we thought. Until we are courageous enough to explore these messages, we may find ourselves repeating patterns that no longer benefit us.

Take my experience, for instance. Growing up, my mother always emphasized being ‘nice,’ even when others were rude or unkind. The underlying message was to never express my true feelings. As a result, I often tolerated unacceptable behavior. It wasn’t until later in life that I learned the importance of setting clear boundaries and speaking my truth with kindness. This not only teaches others how to treat us but also ensures we don’t accept the unacceptable as acceptable.

These early lessons can impact us in many areas of our lives, such as:

  • In Our Relationships: Not being able to speak our truth can lead to resentment and misunderstandings in our relationships. When we suppress our true feelings to keep the peace or be ‘nice,’ we may end up feeling unvalued and resentful. This can create a cycle of dissatisfaction and conflict, undermining the very relationships we are trying to preserve.
  • In Our Schooling: These lessons can keep us underachieving, not reaching our full potential because we don’t believe we’re capable or deserving. On the other hand, they might push us to overachieve, striving for perfection and setting ourselves up for a life filled with constant stress and anxiety.
  • In Our Careers: Not standing up for ourselves or setting clear boundaries can hold us back from achieving the success we desire. We might not advocate for the raises or promotions we deserve, or we might take on too much work to please others, leading to burnout.

The key to breaking these patterns is courage. We need to be brave enough to question and explore these messages from our past. Only then can we begin to reshape them into healthier, more empowering beliefs.This journey of exploration and growth is a key focus of my program, “The ReWrite Journey.” In this course, we delve into our lifelines and explore the values and beliefs we formed based on our experiences. We then examine how the decisions we made in the ‘there and then’ shape our lives and can become limiting in the ‘here and now’ if they are not aligned with our true values. For instance, I believe in kindness, but without setting clear boundaries that respected me, I ended up feeling frustrated and disrespected, because the core underlying belief I’d unintentionally learned in childhood was, ‘my voice doesn’t matter’ Aka – I don’t matter.

By understanding and realigning our beliefs, we can create a life that honours our true values and supports our well-being.

So, there’s the invitation–What’s one piece of advice or wisdom you received in your childhood or teenage years that, in hindsight, turned out to be less helpful or even misguided? How has recognizing and addressing this affected your life? I invite you to share your experiences in the comments below — when we share our courage to be brave and vulnerable, we inspire others to take the journey of growth and self-discovery.

If you’re interested in exploring these concepts further, I invite you to chat with me about “The ReWrite Journey.” I’ve just begun with a new cohort but it’s not too late to join the journey! All things are possible when we uncover the beliefs holding us back and rewrite them to align with our true values, so that we can live a more empowered and fulfilling life.

Discovery Seminars: Are you willing to explore your possibilities?

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Imagine spending five days diving deep into the core of your being, challenging the thoughts and habits that hold you back from joy, growth, happiness, love and so much more.

This past week, coaching at the Discovery Seminars, I did all of that and more. From the lightbulb moments of self-forgiveness to the awakening of personal power and the unfolding of miracles, the journey was full of inspiring moments and transformation.

It all begins for trainees at noon on Wednesday. People walk in with a full spectrum of emotions: reluctance, desperation, hesitation, excitement, and even anger. Some are unsure why they are there or what they are seeking, or have come simply to please their boss or get a loved one of their back. Others are holding onto a last thread of hope they will find a reason to take another next step.

As the days unfold, so dp the stories shared. There are so many moments that stand out for me: someone who walked in skeptical about what was in the room for them realizing their worth. Another finding the courage to release shame by sharing something they’ve never told anyone. Another choosing to forgive themselves; breaking through a barrier that had once seemed insurmountable. These acts of courage and vulnerability became a continuous thread of turning points, transforming the seminar room into a sanctuary of empathy, understanding and loving kindness.

Through guided discussions, reflective exercises, and shared experiences, we delved into the habits and thoughts that trigger unhealthy responses. The process wasn’t just about identifying these triggers but learning how to confront and reshape them.

And then, the fifth day happened. Everything changed. It wasn’t just one event but a culmination of moments, insights, and revelations that led to this transformation. Participants who had walked in carrying the weight of their pasts were now looking forward with determination, their faces and hearts alight with hope. Others found a friend to lean on. Others a shared experience to grow through. Others a glimmer of possibility to take in and nurture its flame.

For me, one of the most beautiful momments is always watching the trainees say goodbye. When a group of strangers gathered on Wednesday, they held themselves separate. Now, in their goodbyes, it’ss clear that the bonds formed were unique and profound. They weren’t just leaving with new friends; they were leaving with a new perspective on life. The power of hope was palpable, urging everyone to not let the lessons fade but to actively apply them in their pursuit of a life free from past regrets and pains.

I spent five days in the Discovery Seminars room last week. I am changed. I am inspired.. I am grateful.

So, here’s my challenge to you:  Are you willing to reflect on the habits and thoughts that may be holding you back? What if… you decided to confront the habits and thoughts that are keeping you playing small in a supportive, transformative environment like Discovery Seminars? What if… you decided living at a 6 isn’t enough — and to find your 8 or 9 or 10, you choose to explore something new? What if… you decided you’re worth fighting for?

Fact is, on Wednesday at noon, few people walk into the Discovery Seminars room eager to dive into the essence of what drives them to do the things they do that keep them falling down, beating themselves up, or playing small.

And yet, on Sunday, people always walk out grateful they did.