Embracing Imperfection. Living Your Purpose

Posted on June 3, 2024 by Louise Gallagher

If I have a recurring self-defeating pattern, it’s the tendency to isolate myself. Trust has always been a challenge, even before a damaging relationship nearly broke me. Recognizing this struggle, when I first went through the Choices program (the precursor to today’s Discovery Seminars) I crafted a personal contract statement: “I am a trusting woman.” This was less about trusting others and more about trusting myself, believing in my resilience in the face of life’s storms to stand centered in my “I” and not be pulled into the winds blowing all around me.

Over time, my confidence grew, and “trusting” evolved into “brave.” Nearly 20 years have passed since I first learned about the transformative power of contract statements, and still, I recognize the power and need to ask myself in times of fear, confusion, uncertainty – or when the critter voice is whispering “Don’t do that. You’ll make a fool of yourself!” — “What would a brave woman do?” . What a gift to have stayed involved in a program designed to support people in breaking through of limiting beliefs and self-defeating games. Through this journey, I’ve gained deeper awareness of my own self-defeating games as I’ve learned to recognize how they limit my joy and power.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of coaching the final Design segment of the Discovery Program, where participants craft their unique Purpose Statements. It’s a joy to witness their “aha!” moments as they uncover their purpose and put words to the difference they not only want to make in the world – the difference they’ve always naturally been making because of who and how they are in this world. Because the truth is, we are always making a difference in the world around us; where we volunteer, where we play, where we work – where ever we are — because it is in our human nature to make a difference.

I say “aha!” moments because sometimes it takes a bit of effort for someone who is accustomed to hiding their light, to see their difference, and the relief that comes with seeing it is tangible! We’re all human, and our subconscious mind often whispers doubts, telling us we’re not enough, unwanted, or less than those around us—those who seem to have it all together in, what appear from the outside, their perfect lives.

But with nearly 8 billion unique individuals on this planet, how can we define “perfect?” We can’t.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

That’s where Discovery Seminars comes in. It’s not about achieving perfection or “getting life right.” It’s about embracing the beautiful imperfection of being human and celebrating our incredible human nature, just as we are.

Since my first experience with the program in April 2006, I’ve coached hundreds of individuals in crafting their unique Purpose Statements. And yet, I continue to learn and expand my own understanding of what it means to be me, the gifts I bring, and the endless possibilities that emerge when I step into my power and shine my light so that I let go of limiting how I live my purpose.

Our world needs each and every one of us to shine our brightest, in our own unique ways, if we’re to dispel the darkness that consumes so many lives.

I invite you to explore Discovery Seminars. You’ll be amazed at what you uncover when you embark on a journey of self-discovery, letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing your inherent beauty and power.

Believe me, the truth is – you are inherently beautiful and powerful!

I am a radiant woman awakening others to their magnificence, beauty, and truth.

Untangling the Threads: Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk

Posted on May 27, 2024 by Louise Gallagher

Have you ever paused to count the negative thoughts that flit through your mind each day? You know the ones: “I can’t…” “What’s wrong with me?” “I just don’t get it.” “Nobody likes me.”

Our minds are a whirlwind of activity, generating an estimated 60,000-80,000 thoughts daily. The unsettling part? Roughly 80% of those thoughts are negative. Yes, even if you consider yourself a positive thinker, a subconscious stream of negativity likely runs beneath the surface.

But here’s the good news: Awareness is the first step towards freedom. By identifying these negative thought patterns, we empower ourselves to make a conscious choice to disempower them.

Moving from unaware to aware to actively choosing a different path is a transformative journey. It requires self-discovery, vulnerability, and a fierce desire to break through the barriers that hold us back. It’s about moving from “playing small” to living our dreams in vibrant, technicolor glory.

3 Simple Steps to Untangle the Threads:

Identify: Start by noticing your negative thoughts. Write them down when they arise. Look for patterns – What triggers them? What themes emerge? Common culprits include “all-or-nothing” thinking, catastrophizing, and disqualifying the positive.
Reframe: Challenge those negative thoughts. Are they really true? What evidence do you have to support them? Can you think of alternative, more positive interpretations? For example, instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I’m learning and growing through this experience.”
Step Away: Don’t engage in a battle with your thoughts. When negativity arises, acknowledge it, reframe it if possible, and then let it drift away. Try visualizing yourself stepping away from those thoughts or imagine them floating away like leaves on a stream.

Remember, this is a process. Be patient and kind to yourself. Each time you catch a negative thought, you’re strengthening your ability to choose a more positive path.

Are you ready to untangle the threads of your inner critic and embrace a brighter, more empowered mindset?

Join me for my free online Masterclass, RADIANT BOLD AGING, 3 Transformative Practices to Ignite Passion & Joy in Your Life Everyday. June 7, 10am (MT). To Register: RADIANT BOLD AGING

Finding Self-Love, Forgiveness and Healing After a Toxic Relationship

Posted on May 22, 2024 by Louise Gallagher

In my MasterClass – RADIANT BOLD AGING, I share what I’ve learned about the power of forgiveness and self-compassion and love in having triumped over an abuse relationship that set me free to love myself completely.

Through a very toxic relationship, I learned that self-hatred is the enemy of freedom, self- denial the path to peridition.

When I escaped that relationship, my priority was to heal myself so I could repair and reclaim the bonds I’d broken with my daughters. Over the almost five years of that relationship, I’d caused them immense pain and betrayed their trust.

In my MC, I share how, while it was easy to want to blame my ex-partner for everything, I knew I was accountable for my actions. The path to regaining their trust and forgiveness started with forgiving myself so that I could be 100% accountable for the pain I’d caused them.

This was a difficult step because I wanted it to be ‘all his fault’. Fact is, to heal myself and my relationship with my daughters, I had to step into my own agency. So, I made a conscious decision to simplify the process of forgiving myself. I repeatedly told myself, “I forgive myself,” without any qualifications or dwelling on past mistakes. It was liberating to let go of the guilt and shame.

Similarly, when thoughts of abuser resurfaced (which in those first heady days of freedom they frequently did), I mentally put up stop signs and redirected my focus to healing and creating a positive future.

The journey to healing wasn’t linear. There were setbacks and moments of doubt, but with each step, I fell deeper and deeper in love with myself AND rekindled the love and connection with my daughters.

Healing is ongoing, and the past still holds some influence in our unconscious, even when we think ‘we’re done with that’. Triggers can emerge enexpectedly. The power is in choosing to step into ‘the mess’ to heal the broken places triggers reveal. I’ve learned to navigate those spaces with forgiveness and self-compassion.

That relationship, though awful for my family and the friends who loved me, strengthened me, my daughters, and all my relationships. My daughter once shared that she didn’t regret it, as it ultimately made us stronger. I agree.

A few years ago, my eldest daughter and I shared our story of healing at a conference. It was challenging but also incredibly rewarding. It was a reminder that I can’t change the past, but I can choose to ‘let it be’ and shape a positive future through forgiveness and love.

This journey taught me to stop seeking fairy tales and to believe in myself. I learned that dreams can come true when we embrace truth, dignity, kindness, and forgiveness.

Most importantly, I discovered the importance of letting go of self-doubt and falling in love with ourselves and our lives.

If you’re interested in falling in love with yourself, in igniting your passion for living free of the past, and instilling more fun and joy into your everyday, join me at RADIANT BOLD AGING, June 7, 10-11:30 am (MT). It’s free and online — you can come as you are — in your pajamas or ball gown!

I hope to see you there.