Rainy Days and Fridays

Posted on July 28, 2023 by Louise Gallagher

Over at David Kanigan’s blog, he shares an excerpt from an article by Frank Bruni, “A Personal Summery Note” (NY Times, July 27, 2023).

Bruni invited others to send him their stories of summer’s they remember.

Bruni also inspired me to remember summer’s past in my response to DK’s post. My memories are tinged however with the current reality of wildfires raging and Mother Earth pleading with humankind to do something different to prevent the destruction of our planet.

Sigh. I think my mind is soaked with dread or… perhaps I just need to quit reading and listening to the news. Good think we no longer have a TV in our home. It could be worse!

It’s already a welcome kind of grey sky day here so I thought I’d dampen it some more with what I wrote along with a photo of Sir Beaumont of Sheepadoodle who looks equally as woebegone!

Thoughts of summer days burned deep into my cellular memories scuttle away from the starkness of current reality where 1,000 wildfires rage across the country. Of flash floods dragging lives into their undertow. Of children crying for lost pets and homes drowning beneath Mother Nature’s twistied winds and scorching heat.

Once upon a time, summer was full of carefree thoughts and endless days spent lazing between pool and lounge chair. Melting ice cream dripping down the sides of a sugar cone onto hot, but not too hot concrete. Of sitting in the car while the gods bowled in the skies above, because somewhere in my child’s mind, I beleived the car was the safest place to be when lightning strikes.

I don’t remember lightning igniting forests across the land. I don’t remember broadcasters droning on about warming seas and melting permafrast or storms that ignited forests,

In these modern climes lightening strikes carry fear-laden clouds of dread devestating boreal forests beneath their wrathful strikes. News feeds roll on and on with stories of tragedies falling upon strangers lives like the one about an elderly woman in Phoenix tipping over in her wheel chair onto too hot concrete that seared her skin to the third degree.

I yearn for those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer where the northern hemisphere seemed to slip easily into slow gear with the arrival of the Summer Solstice. Under a Solstice moon gravity cradled me in comforting thoughts of Planet Earth held steadfast in its orbit around the sun burning away lingering memories of winter’s harsh winds blasting.

I am lazing in bed today. it’s a misty, drizzly kind of morning and yesterday, because I chose to wear shoes I know don’t work well with my feet, my right foot is a tad (very) sore today. My own doing. But… along with the grey skies, it makes for a good excuse to R&R for a bit and ignore the list of chores I had planned to do.

Ahhh…. those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

Namaste

PS. I do highly recommend hopping on over to David’s place. It’s an enchanting read today

Change: Are you willing?

Posted on July 26, 2023 by Louise Gallagher

This morning, in the quiet of meditation, a profound question surfaced. “Aside from what Mother Nature creates, everything else on this planet Earth that we call our home has been built by humankind. If we don’t like what we’ve created, what are we willing to do to change it?”

We live in a world that is largely our own creation – a complex tapestry woven from the threads of human ingenuity, creativity, and ambition. It’s in our nature to be creators. From the simplest of tools used by our ancestors to the sophisticated technologies of more recent decades, we have always found ways to shape the world around us, molding it to better serve our needs, desires and aspirations.

Yet, our creations aren’t always perfect. We’ve built towering cities that touch the sky, but at the cost of pristine forests and ecosystems. We’ve developed incredible technologies that connect us instantaneously, yet we often feel more isolated than ever. We’ve striven for efficiency and convenience, only to find ourselves bound by the chains of consumerism, a consumerism that too often gives rise to a deep-seated dissatisfaction with what we have, and what we have not.

Which brings me back to the question that arose in my meditation. “What are we willing to do when we don’t like what we’ve built?”

It’s not an easy thought. There are parts of me that are willing to let go of things, ways of doing and being that don’t serve the world. But, let’s be honest here, there are also parts that don’t want to let go of the things that make my life easier. The things I really like. Like electricity, driving my car, flying places, new clothes, a well-stocked fridge, a mindset of discarding things I don’t need only to replace them by ‘newer, better, bigger’..

This morning as I gaze out at a perfect blue sky day, I wonder, “What am I truly willing to change?”

In August, C.C. and I will be driving to the west coast to visit family and friends. Taking gifts for my grandchildren fills my heart with joy. Yet, they already have a wealth of toys, books, clothes, THINGS. Am I willing to forgo my consumerism to simpy be present within the joy of our connection?

Am I willing to change for the better of the planet?

Given the state of the world today, do I have a choice not to?

Embracing the idea of change can feel unsettling, but it’s crucial for our planet today, and for my peace of mind.

In this world of floods, raging wildfires, war, hunger and starvation, isn’t it time to challenge the status quo and push our boundaries? Isn’t it time we all advocate for sustainable practices to conserve our environment, promote genuine human connection over virtual interactions, or resist the incessant pull of mindless consumerism?

If not now, when?

Individually, there is a lot we can each do. And if we each start doing similar things, we have a chance to create collective action that does make a difference. Because, the kind of changes Planet Earth needs us to make do not occur in isolation. It’s going to take a collaborative effort, requiring us to bridge our differences, pool our resources, and unify our goals. It may demand sacrifices and require us to forgo certain comforts, but if the end goal is a world that is sustainable, a world that aligns more closely with our true desires for life on earth, then the effort is surely worth it.

Which brings me back to the question that arose from my meditation: What are we willing to do to change the world we’ve built if we don’t like it?

It is not just a passing thought. It’s an urgent call to action. If we can learn anything from our past, it’s that we are the architects of our own reality. We have the power to dismantle the structures we’ve built and create something far better in its stead.

Our willingness to change is the first step towards a more harmonious and sustainable future.

Are you willing?

Namaste

Awash in Gratitude

Posted on July 24, 2023 by Louise Gallagher

This past weekend was overflowing with illumination and personal understanding, courtesy of Discovery Seminars and my choice to step outside my comfort zone to explore what’s possible beyond its limitations.

I first took a leap of faith into the world of Discovery Seminars back in April 2006. At the time, I didn’t know I was about to plunge into a four-and-a-half day journey of introspection, ready to challenge my self-limiting beliefs and the self-defeating games that consistently made me live smaller than I deserved. I thought I was doing it for a friend who had asked me to support them on their journey.

It was nothing short of a mental revolution.

Those four and a half days, plus the following two weekend sessions, opened a realm of possibilities for those of us who were skeptical about change and stubbornly wished that everyone else would change while we remained the same.

Back in 2006, this life-altering experience was known as ‘Choices.’ However, the pandemic prompted a rebranding and rejuvenation, transforming it into an even more potent opportunity for self-discovery.

To quote a former boss of mine, “Change is here to stay.” And, while the people at the front of the room have changed, and some of the processes have been refreshed and reworked, the biggest change remains what happens to those who walk through the doors to discover that, while change may be an inevitable part of life, it doesn’t have to dictate our path. We possess the power to take charge and shape our own journey through it.

For me, a significant change this weekend came through my Saturday morning contribution to the seminar.

Ever since my early thirties, I have championed movement as a form of meditation or therapy, having been inspired by Gabriel Roth’s 5 Rhythms practice during a week-long course where, guided by a certified 5-Waves practitioner, we explored the fundamental principles of this practice and learned how to impart its gifts to others.

Years rolled by with me actively participating in and leading workshops on the 5 Rhythms. But, somewhere in my late fifties, I found myself retreating from group practices. I still danced and practiced embodied movement alone in my studio, but I distanced myself from the communal experience.

This past Saturday, however, marked my return to leading a session, and it was profoundly moving.

For 40 glorious minutes, about 40 of us, all of whom were participants in the Discovery Seminar, allowed our bodies to inform our movements in sync with the music I had curated for the session.

The beauty of embodied movement lies in its ability to connect us with the deep, healing silence of stillness. Throughout the session I only provided a gentle guidance to shift with the rhythms of the music (the 5 waves), allowing each individual to move at their pace, dancing their personal dance with the rhythm.

“Everyone and everything is welcome in this space,” I assured the group before we began. “There are no right or wrong steps. There’s no singular way to move or to feel the rhythm. The only guiding force here is the way your body yearns to move, the path it chooses to guide you along.”

It was an utterly liberating experience to witness over 40 individuals, fully immersed in their personal journeys, moving with their bodies’ calling, and defying the inner voices of self-doubt whispering discouragements like, “You’ll look silly,” or “You don’t know what you’re doing!” These are the devious hissings of our ‘critter-mind’ pulling us into playing small, encouraging us to hide from the light of our own magnificence.

The freedom to move according to your body’s calling, to delve deeper into its core, is an experience that’s profoundly liberating and healing.And gratifying. To have a participant tell me they hadn’t felt peace like that in a long, long time, filled my heart with joy.

I am awash in gratitude. Leading that workshop was a beautiful awakening to what is truly possible when I let go of the things I tell myself are no longer so.

I am grateful for CH and BM for trusting me, even when they had no idea what the workshop was about. I am thankful to those who turned up to listen to their bodies calling them to move to their own beat and their encouragement to ‘Do this again.” I am grateful for the music and the rhythm of life that moves me to dance.

I am so blessed.

Namaste.

Expect the Unexpected and You Won’t Be Disappointed

Posted on July 21, 2023 by Louise Gallagher

It’s been strange kind of two days.

Yesterday morning, in the midst of completing a project for work, I heard the whisper of the wise voice within calling me to pay attention.

“This one’s for you Louise,” it said. “You want to do it. It’s only fear of the unknown holding you back.”

Huh?

I do?

I knew what of the voice was whispering.

For some time now I’ve been pondering what I want to do for my upcoming 70th birthday that would be a celebration of life, adventure and the fierce woman inside dancing in her own light.

Heeding the voices whisperings, I waked upstairs from my office, walked into the bedroom, woke C.C. and said, “I think I’ll book a flight to Ireland.”

Okay. Full disclosure. I had the airline app open on my phone and was about to press, ACCEPT.

From his sleep-addled mind, C.C. replied, “Oh.”

I waited.

“Okay. Good for you.” After which he promptly rolled over, closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

I pressed ACCEPT.

On Sep 30, I fly to Dublin for 10 days doing something, I’m not sure what, in Ireland. It is my father’s motherland and it feels… right.

Entering this new decade I want to live by the adage, “Expect the unexpected and you’ll never be disappointed.”

And that’s just the first of my trilogy of unusual happenings.

Later, C.C. and I were talking about dinner and out of the blue, I said, “What about dinner and a movie?”

I had my writer’s group so whatever we were doing, it had to be after 7:30. Which is why we ended up becoming members of the Cineplex VIP club. At 8pm, we were comfortably ensconced in our lounger chairs in front of a ginormous screen, eating dinner, chatting and waiting for our movie to begin.

What made it so unusual is the fact dinner and movie nights were a regular feature in C.C. and my calendar. This, however, was the first movie we’ve gone to since COVID’s reign. And the first time we’d experienced the VIP treatment. It was AWESOME!

The third thing is not quite so refreshing.

This morning, while sitting at my desk in front of our big picture window that overlooks our backyard, and the stretch of woods between it and the river, I smelled smoke, and then saw smoke rising from somewhere in the trees.

I immediately jumped into action, yelling at C.C. to “Get up and come see!” After a few minutes of deliberations, I hit 911 on my phone and told the operator what was transpiring.

Within minutes, a fire truck arrived, three fire fighters walked along the unmarked (and seldom trod in the summer as the woods are so dense) trail along the river and found someone encamped, warming themselves by a fire.

“You can’t light a fire in the woods,” one of the firefighters told the individual. And the fire was extinguished.

I appreciate that living and sleeping rough is hard.

I also appreciate that we have both a drug and housing crisis in our country.

However, we also have a wildfire crisis. A fire in the woods behind our house is terrifying.

My heart rate has come back to nomral, my mind has stopped racing. I feel empathy and compassion for the individual in the woods. I don’t mind having him camped there (though I’d prefer if he used a shelter.) Sleeping rough is risky, particularly if drugs are involved.

However, lighting a fire in the woods behind our house is not acceptable. I shall stay vigilant.

C.C. and Beaumont have gone back to bed. I continue to sit at my desk, savouring the beauty of this glorious July morning.

I have adventures afoot.

Perhaps these two days are the invitation to get used to living within a world of unexpected’s. Perhaps, it’s the invitation to let go of fear and dive into adventure!

Namaste

Boundaries: The Difference Between Yours and Mine

Posted on July 20, 2023 by Louise Gallagher

Boundaries – a line that marks the limit of an area, a concept we grasp as physical demarcation between one space and another. But when it comes to our emotional landscape, these lines become blurred, complex, and often invisible. Yet they are equally, if not more, significant for our wellbeing.

The absence of boundaries is like trying to hold water in your hands without a container – you lose yourself in an unstructured space, susceptible to the whims and influences of others. You become a canvas upon which others paint whatever they want, with little consideration for your emotional integrity.

This realization dawned on me many years ago when I found myself telling someone, “I’m getting tired of you crossing the boundaries I refuse to set.” The stark truth of my words hit me hard. It begged the question – Are my boudnaries like that proverbial tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it fall? If I don’t set boundaries, is anyone crossing them?

Sometimes, we find ourselves blaming others for overstepping our boundaries, when in fact, it’s our responsibility to set and honor them. Like a lighthouse in the fog, our boundaries guide us to safe harbors, away from the rocky shores of emotional distress.

The challenge is, you’ve got to know your boundaries to set them. For me, because mine weren’t clear, it was really hard when I first began this work to get clear on what I wanted, allowed and didn’t allow in my life. It required scrupulous self-reflection and difficult conversations. But it was crucial to my emotional health and in ensuring that my relationships are respectful and reciprocal.

And the bottomline is, I’m worth it. I’m worth doing the work of knowing myself deeply and honouring my own needs. So are you.

The question is, how do we define our boundaries? What makes a boundary healthy? They aren’t lines drawn in anger or fear. They’re created from self-understanding and respect for our own needs and limits. Healthy boundaries involve clear communication of our expectations and the consequences if these lines are crossed. They are firm yet flexible, allowing for growth and change.

Acknowledging our feelings, needs, and values is the first step in establishing our boundaries. These can be as simple as setting aside personal time for relaxation or as complex as articulating our expectations in a romantic relationship.

And here’s the thing. Setting boundaries is only half the journey. Upholding them requires strength, courage, and consistency. We need to understand that it’s okay to say no, that it’s acceptable to prioritize our needs, and that standing up for ourselves is not selfish but self-preserving.

Remember, each time we compromise our boundaries, we’re not just bending rules – we’re subtly telling ourselves that our needs, our wellbeing, aren’t important.

Embracing boundaries as a fundamental part of who we are is a lifelong journey. The first step is understanding that boundaries aren’t limitations, but definitions. They define who we are, what we need, and how we want to be treated. They’re not walls, but markers of respect – both for ourselves and others.

In the end, we cannot control how others behave. We can control how we respond. Respecting our own boundaries, calmly, firmly holding them in place with tender heart and hands, eases tension while creating joyful, loving spaces that honours and celebrates the differences between us. In those differences lies a sea of limitless possibilities for life to blossom in all its living colours.

Oh! And to the individual to whom I said, “I’m tired of you crossing the boundaries I refuse to set”… Thank you for laughing with me at the realization of how ludicrous my utterance was. I’m grateful for your compassionate care as I walked into experiencing my truth coming to light.

The Unguarded Heart

Posted on July 14, 2023 by Louise Gallagher

Where does one thought end and the next begin? Is there a clear separation between them? Or do thoughts blend together, much like early morning ponderings, clamoring for attention and struggling to make sense of overwhelming thoughts that seem too vast to grasp?

Several years ago, as part of my work at the Homeless Foundation, I organized an information session in a community where we aimed to build 30 units of affordable housing for individuals with a history of homelessness.

However, the community did not want us there. While their resistance to the project was not unusual, their actions to impede the permits required for construction were unexpected.

On the night of the information session, a crowd of 150 people showed up, mostly in opposition to the project. Understandably, few who supported the initiative attended. The naysayers were highly vocal and the atmosphere among the angry crowd was unpleasant.

Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse when the crowd transformed into a mob. They raised their fists in the air, shouting and chanting, “We don’t want you here! We don’t want you here!”

Since one of the leaders had been speaking to me just moments before the mob formed, they surrounded me and directed their chants towards me.

In that moment, I intellectually understood that their anger, raised fists, and “We don’t want you here!” were not personal attacks on me. Outwardly, I remained calm, instructing my co-workers to pack up our signage and materials, and informing the crowd that we had heard their concerns and would be leaving so they could talk among themselves.

Their immediate response was to yell back, “You can’t leave. You have to tell us what we need to do to prevent the construction in our community.”

The only response I could give them was, “I don’t have your answers. You need to work on finding them yourselves.”

For many reasons, we ultimately decided not to proceed with that project.

Here’s the thing: though, that incident triggered a deeply ingrained limiting belief within me. It was one of those messages that I internalized during my childhood, not because the people around me explicitly said, “you don’t belong here,” but rather due to the confusing and unsettling experiences I encountered as a child. I interpreted those experiences as a sign that something was wrong with me, that I didn’t fit in or belong within my own family.

Healing that broken place within me has been a lifelong journey. It has required conscious practice of self-love and acceptance, therapy, workshops, extensive writing, and an ongoing commitment to embracing my true self. I strive to be a person who is loving, kind, caring, compassionate, and thoughtful of others, ensuring that my words and actions do not cause harm to the world and those who inhabit it.

My wise daughters have often remarked that I guard my heart, and while there may have been valid reasons in the past, living with a guarded heart is not how I wish to exist in this world.

I desire to live with my heart beating wild and free, capable of love, deep emotions, and experiencing all of life’s beauty, light, and darkness, fully.

Which is why, when faced with moments that tempt me to once again shield my heart and withdraw, I remind myself of the woman who confronted a mob and summoned the courage to face her inner demons, enabling her to live a life unencumbered by fear and full of love.

In each of our lives, there are moments when we unintentionally, and perhaps sometimes intentionally, say or do things that cause harm to others or ourselves. We are all fallible humans, carrying our own wounds and scars, grappling with unease and unexpected eruptions of pain.

Just like me, you too have experienced the sting of loss and the agony of betrayal. And, just like me, you too strive to be the person you aspire to be in this world. You seek the joy of being loved, loving others, and feeling a sense of significance and belonging.

Living with an open heart means listening to the wisdom it imparts. Despite what my critical inner voice may suggest, my wise heart recognizes that my belonging is not contingent upon the actions and words of others. It is rooted in my deep belief that I am a courageous woman who endeavors to touch hearts with gentle and loving hands, to broaden minds with caring and compassionate thoughts, and to live by the truth I hold dear.

No matter the circumstances, regardless of what others say or do, irrespective of how lost or confused I may feel or how tumultuous the storms around me become, I firmly believe that love is the only answer.