A Coyote Runs By

Journal Page. Mixed Media.

It is 10pm.  Beaumont and I are out for our late evening walk.

As we turn the corner from the cul de sac where we live to join the side street that runs up the hill to the escarpment above, a coyote goes racing by.

I stop.

Beau strains at the leash.

The coyote doesn’t see us. He keeps running, up the hill, towards the path that meanders through the forest linging the hillside as it makes its way back down towards the river’s edge, leading westward out of the city.

He is there one minute, gone the next, so fast, I wonder if I really did see him. Beaumont’s antics tell me I did.

I turn around and come home. I don’t really want to have an encounter with a coyote late at night. Or anytime of the day for that matter.

We live along the river’s edge in a community that was once the western limit of the city but has long been consumed by urban sprawl and annexation of a town on the other side of the river that once lay beyond the city limits.

The river is nature’s highway. A broad sweeping ribbon of water that flows down out of the mountains, through the city, inexorably drawn by nature’s pull towards Hudson’s Bay far to the east.

Every evening, as we sit on our deck, we watch rafters drifting by and a few brave souls navigating paddle boards.

And wildlife.

Like the coyote who raced by chasing some unseen prey, or perhaps heeding a primitive call to head to the hills, take cover in the forests that edge the water’s northern rim.

There are no houses on the northern edge of the river where the Bow turns a broad sweeping curve as it flows in from the West. High above, along the ridge of the escarpment, houses stand, their windows gleaming in the evening sun. They keep watch over the parkland area that runs along the river’s edge. Trees. Vegetation and a long extinct gravel pit that has been turned back to the land to become a flood water diversion project.

It is beautiful along the river’s edge.

And a refuge to the wild things that used to roam freely.

It’s easy to forget about the wild things when surrounded by urban sprawl and concrete.

It’s easy to forget we are not alone on this land.

A coyote ran by last night.

Fast and fleet of foot, he swept in from the south, headed north and then disappeared from view.

And still, his footprints run through my memory, reminding me, we do not own this land we claim as ours. There were others here before us. Others who once ran free. Who did not need concrete roads and traffic signs to tell them how to get from one place to the next.

Long ago, they followed the rivers and the streams. The seasons and the wild things.

In their footsteps we must tread lightly upon this land upon which we walk.

In their footsteps we must honour the land that gives us our home.

 

 

 

What will happen to the unborn child?

They come because they are scared.

They come because they have nowhere else to go.

They come because if they don’t, what will happen to their unborn child?

At Inn from the Cold right now, there are nine pregnant women staying under the shelter’s roof.

Nine.

I can’t imagine what the soon-to-be-moms are feeling. Thinking. Experiencing.

Becoming a mom is fraught with questions. Fears. Insecurities. Uncertainties.

Being homeless and becoming a mom?

I can’t imagine.

But I can imagine why they’re there. I can imagine that whatever the circumstances of their lives, they want their child to have a better chance at life. And having a safe place to stay is a good beginning.

Recently, the Inn changed the parameters around who can stay at the family emergency shelter. In the past, (based mostly on the fact that space is limited and the shelter is constantly full) only adults accompanied by children were invited in.

But what about all the unborn children someone asked? What about the first time, soon-to-be mom without children accompanying her?

It was the grim reality that her unborn child was at risk if we did not provide the mother shelter, sanctuary and healing, regardless of who is accompanying her, that opened the doors to all pregnant women at the Inn, regardless of how at or over capacity we are.

It is an important decision.

A life-giving decision.

In homelessness, self-care is not high on the agenda. The trauma, stress, turmoil, angst and all the other factors that pull someone into the despair and hopelessness associated with homelessness, take a significant toll on an individual’s ability to make good self-care choices.

For women who are homeless and pregnant, homelessness impacts not only their life, but the life of their unborn child; that innocent, precious life that is forming within, unaware of the condition of life outside the womb.

Ensuring the mother receives prenatal care, that risks are minimized, that some stability is instilled into her life is critical to the development of her unborn child.

And so, the Inn opened its doors to pregnant women unaccompanied by children.

It is the right thing to do. The best thing to do to provide these unborn infants the best chance at life.

There is no special funding for supporting pregnant women. No pot of money waiting to be dipped into just for this.

It doesn’t matter.

We will find a way.

Because, if we don’t, what will happen to the unborn children? How will they make their way into this world? How will they know life?

______________________________________________________

Yesterday, the Inn announced the total raised during its 6th Annual Claire’s Campaign. The goal of $900,000 was surpassed with $1,072,708,25 raised by over 750 donors.

Thank you Calgary!

That means, along with being able to provide vital programming for children and their parents, we’ll also be able to provide pre and post-natal care to mothers, like the one I wrote about on Monday.

I am grateful.

And still I am haunted by the question, what will happen to the unborn child?

Being able to access emergency shelter is vital. Receiving prenatal care is critical. But a home is essential.

We need to do better. All of us. Everyone. To ensure we create a community where no child or family is homeless.

Namaste.

 

.

And still she haunts me.

She is sitting in the lobby of the family emergency homeless shelter where I work. Mid-thirties. Tired looking.

She glances at me as I walk in. I smile. She smiles back and then looks down.

In front of her, a dark blue baby carrier sits on the floor, a pink blanket draped over it.

I walk over, sit down beside her and ask if I can see her baby.

She smiles the smile all mothers give when showing off their infants and lifts the cover.

Inside, a tiny infant lays sleeping. She is beautiful and perfect and so peaceful looking.

I want to cry.

She is fifteen days old.

I tell the woman how beautiful her baby girl is. She smiles at me and whispers a quiet, ‘thank you.’

There are so many questions I want to ask this woman. So much I want to say. But I do not have the right to badger her or pry into her life.

I wish her well and leave.

She haunts me.

This mother and her baby daughter. Sitting silently in the lobby of an emergency homeless shelter.

She haunts me in that place where the heaviness of poverty oozes out like a damp fog rising up from the marshes lining a pond. Dank and cloying, it soaks up the air around it, drowning out all sounds. All hope.

That place where I want only to hold the children close and find safe haven for their mothers.

That place where I want to heal the world and change the trajectory of lives seeped in trauma and despair.

Where I want to rail at politicians and policy-makers to stop talking about ‘what needs to get done’ and get doing it. Now. Right away.

Precious little lives are at stake and we are setting them up for more trauma, more despair, more loss of hope and possibility and dreams.

And I do none of these things.

I continue on my way, doing what I know I can do to raise awareness, raise our consciousness of our capacity to create a better world, a more peaceful place for all the children and all the mothers and fathers too.

I continue on my way doing the things I do best.

And still, she haunts me.

What more can I do?

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

You can help end child and family homelessness.

One of the things I can do is ensure that people know how they can make a difference. I work in the homelessness serving sector because it’s where I feel ‘at home’. The cause resonates within me.

For many, working in this sector isn’t possible.

Giving is receiving.

We can each give what we can to ensure the agencies at the front-line are able to support young mothers and their infant baby’s like the one I met the other day.

Every penny makes a difference.

Every penny counts.

If you have any extra coins you’d like to donate, please think about giving to Claire’s Campaign. Until noon tomorrow, your donation will be matched by Gary Nissen who contributed $250,000 matching dollars, Karen Zutter $100,000, the Hutchinson Family $50,000 and Cole Harris and Centron, $50,000.

Your difference will add up to a big difference in the lives of the children, mothers and fathers who come to Inn from the Cold in search of a safe way home.

 

 

What do you do when life is too busy to take time to be present?

Do you struggle with the pace of life? The never-ending flow of moment to moment passing by, filled with lists of things to do, accomplish, finish?

I know I do.

Right now, after having moved into our new home March 12th, I am finally feeling at home in the main areas.

Furniture is where we want it. Some of the paintings are hung. New couch. New pillows. All in place. It feels like home.

Our bedroom is another story.

I have sorted out the boxes, created two big bags of give-away clothes. Moved the stack of paintings from one wall to the other. And there they rest.

Books are stacked in baskets on the floor. Clothes are hung in the closets but there is still that one box of clothes waiting to to be unpacked.

As I said to a friend at dinner last night, I no longer really see ‘the mess’. It’s normalized in my brain and I don’t feel compelled to do anything with it.

Yet.

Time to breathe into the moment, to create space for my attention to open up to the possibility of creating a beautiful living space in our bedroom so that I can commit to getting done what needs to be done.

Time to celebrate ridding our bedroom of disorder to create harmony and order in our lives.

Because that’s the thing about celebrating the sacredness of simple acts. Tidying up isn’t a grind. It’s a joyful expression of creating harmony.

Getting rid of unwanted bags of clothes isn’t a nuisance. It’s an opportunity to create space for a fresh start.

And, building bookcases and putting books where they belong isn’t a tiring job. It’s a delightful opportunity to spend time with ‘old friends’ remembering sacred passages and special stories.

I have been letting the busy of my life distract me from the sacred nature of everyday moments and simple acts of grace.

I have been giving into the chatter in my mind that would have me believe I’m too tried, overwhelmed, [insert word of choice] to celebrate taking time to do what needs to be done.

Time to make space for diving into the sacred moments of living this one, beautiful life immersed in the joy of creating value in every moment, no matter what I’m doing.

Time to let go of my excuses and awaken to my desire to create beauty all around me.

Let me never forget to share my gifts (a poem of Love)

Photo by Kristen Wyman on Unsplash

Forgetting why
I’m here
I struggle
to make sense
of the sometimes inexplicable
nonsense
of the world
around me.

Remembering why
I’m here
I dance
in the light
of a full moon rising
sensing
the power
of the Love
that brought me here.

Let me never forget
the beauty of my coming
into this world
precious, unique, whole.

Let me never forget
I am born of Love
born to love
be loved
loving and lovable.

Let me never forget
to remember
the gifts I carried with me
into this world
swaddled in Love
designed to share.

Let me never forget
to share my gifts.

_____________________________

Photo by Kristen Wyman on Unsplash

Live with joyful abandon

Remember when you were a child and the sight of a dragonfly in the air brought squeals of laughter and joy?

Remember when the simple act of lying on the grass, staring up at the sky, made your imagination soar?

Remember when?

Life is a journey of creating moments for gathering memories.

Yet, in this fast paced, over-scheduled life so many of us live today, gathering memories is forgotten in the stress of filling every moment with the work of daily living.

Just for today, take a moment, or two or three, to stop and savour. Savour the sounds, the feels, the textures, the look of everything around you.

Take a moment, or two or three, to stop and appreciate all that is around you.

For many of us, living in the city, we forget to hear and see the sights that make our daily lives rich and vibrant. The sound of that bus driving over the bridge. Hear the deep roar of its engine. The rubber of its tires hissing on the pavement.

The laughter of those two people chatting at the corner, waiting for the walk sign to turn green.

The clatter of a baby carriage as a mother pushes her child to daycare, or the store. Where ever she’s going.

The daily sounds and sights around us make up our world. When we separate them from nature, deem them unworthy or unbecoming to our desired state of being, we separate ourselves from the beauty and awe that is the world around us.

Just for today, stop, listen and savour every sound and sight around you.

Find value in all things and treasure the precious beauty of your world.

Create memories worth gathering in everyday things and give in with joyful abandon to the beauty and awe of your life in this moment right now. Live!

 

The River is High

The river is high. The river is moodie.  The river knows its own way.

In the Rockies to the west, spring run-off is in full force. Water cascades down mountainsides, swelling streams and rivers to the east. They flow never-ending towards Hudson’s Bay in the far off distance.

Outside our windows, the Bow flows deep and strong. It creeps up its embankments, soaking low-lying flora in its passing.

The river is high.

This morning, grey clouds cover the sky. Rain is promised.

And I watch the river.

It is ‘the thing’ about living on the river. Even though we are not in a flood zone, I still watch it. With caution. Awe. Curiosity.

It is our first year of living along this river. We are learning its language. Learning its ways.

It is a journey of discovery. Of coming to terms with, what is and letting our desires for the river to be any any way than the way it is, abate.

It is a lesson in life.

Do not hold onto the way you want things to be. Accept they way they are. Accept what is, and let the water’s of life flow freely so that in your acceptance of ‘what is’ you can be all you need to be in the way you are.

And like the river flowing by, this too shall pass.

And like the river flowing by, this too shall pass.

The river is high.

I am learning to hear its voice. It is telling a flowing story of life.

 

Watch out world! This womb is open!

No. 35 #ShePersisted series.
http://louisegallagher.ca/shepersisted

I am laughing at myself. Gently. But I am definitely finding myself amusing.

I am sitting in a room of 30+ women, gathered on this beautiful Sunday afternoon to plant seeds of Sisterhood. One of the facilitators takes us through a closed eye ‘womb-clearing’ process.

That’s when my inner laughter begins.

The womb is the seat of our creativity. Our power. Our essence, she tells us. Imagine…

All I can imagine is a big honkin’ concrete lid on top of my womb, keeping the whole friggin’ fecundity of my essence in check.

And in that imagining, my laughter takes hold.

Thirty years ago, after the birth of my second daughter, I had a tubal ligation. She was my fourth pregnancy, two of which had ended with ectopic ruptures (yup. That hurt). The final two resulted in C-section’s that brought the miracle of my daughters safely into this world.

I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children. My doctor suggested I might want to end at two. Not press my luck and all, he suggested. I agreed.

My ‘funny-line’ after that was, “This womb is closed.”

And that’s what brought the laughter on.

Imagine. Even though I was joking, the power of that phrase, “This womb is closed.”

If the womb represents the seat of my creativity, power, essence, then I have been inadvertently shutting it down, turning it off, putting the lid on it, ever since I spoke those words.

Aren’t I fascinating?

Don’t get me wrong. I am highly creative. Continually finding ways to express myself.

But… and there’s always that but getting in the way of my expression.

I also limit myself. I put a limit on how I set my creative expressions free in this world. Sometimes, I play a big dream and live it out as a footnote in the story of my life.

So, here’s the story today…

This womb is open for business.

Okay. Okay. Not the child-rearing kind of business of my younger years, but the fertile blossoming business of my creative expression having free reign to explode in living colour, all over the place.

Watch our world, this womb is open!