Tag Archives: acts of grace

Lighten Up! | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 10

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Ever sat at your desk, looked down at your socks and realized, they don’t match? Or mid-way through the day had someone tell you that your sweater is on inside out?

If you’re like me, you probably wanted to race home and change, or did immediately turn your sweater right side out.

Stop it!

Don’t mess with the happy consequences of lightening up unintentionally.

Do it with intention. Do it to shake up your psyche! Unsettle your status quo. Upset the apple cart of your habitual behaviours.

Do it as if it’s fun!

I know. I know. I struggle with this one. Wear mis-matched socks? Two different earrings? My sweater on backwards? Intentionally?

What will people think?

Right. Who cares what people think?

But they’ll…

Stop.

So, what if I just think about it but don’t do it?

It’s not the same thing.

Our critter-minds crave the familiar, the same old same old. Critter-mind wants us to believe the familiar is safe. The different is too risky, scary, insecure.

Tell the critter-mind to take a nap.

Shaking it up a bit makes space for big shifts to happen that we don’t even know are possible.

Think of it as a gift for your heart. An act of grace to stir its beat and jazz it all up.

I don’t know who said this but I like what they said, “Doing things differently leads to something exceptional.”

Anthony Robbins is credited with having said, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

My youngest daughter once responded when asked why she always wears mis-matched socks, “Why do you wear matching socks?”

If you always wear matching socks, you’ll never know what it feels like to consciously unmatch them, to go about your day with your feet unbridled by the convention of matching socks.

Go ahead. Try it. Just for today, do something that makes you feel uncomfortable because it takes you out of your habitual behaviours. It’s not about breaking ‘the law’, it’s about breaking the innate laws of society that dictate you must do things the way you’ve always done them because that’s the way they’ve always been done — and don’t worry about people whispering about you if you get out of the rut of convention — they will but that’s their issue, not yours!

Lighten up and shake up your senses. Set your heart free to beat to its own rhythm.

Let me know what happens!

Me… I’m wearing mismatched earrings today and if anyone happens to notice, my response will be… Thank You!

I’ll let you know if I hear things differently.

Practice Deep Listening | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 9

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It doesn’t have to be a co-worker you take out for coffee. It could be a daughter or son, your cousin, neighbour, a friend, your spouse…

The question, “What are you passionate about?” is a direct line of communication to the heart. It speaks to purpose without asking “what is your purpose in life?” Which for some people can be a daunting question if they’ve never really stopped to think about their purpose in the world. Being asked the question,”What is your purpose in life?”, especially if we’ve never explored the question, can cause us to feel vulnerable, exposed. It leads us directly into our heads as we scramble to find the ‘right answer’. And, because we think there’s a right answer, it can ignite the fear we won’t get the answer right, or that we’ll be judged if our purpose isn’t clear, or ‘big’, or headline making.

But when we ask, “What are you passionate about?”, we are speaking heart-talk. We are saying, “I have a deep interest in knowing who you are and what you’re about.” In the open expanse of the question, people click into that space within where their heart beats freely and their mind knows what they’re talking about is not about getting the answer right, but rather about what calls to their heart.

People can be passionate about many things. Collecting stamps. Being a Big Brother or Big sister. Their family. Reading. Mountain Climbing. Volunteering at a hospice.

Asking them to share about their passion, and listening deeply, builds connection. It strengthens the bonds that unite us as human beings and as we listen deeply, gives the gift of being heard, seen, known and valued.

 

Ask a question and listen deeply.

You may be surprised by what happens next.

Give the Gift of Life | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 8

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For the past few months I have been part of the organizing team for a conference that was held Wednesday, Thursday, Friday here in Calgary. The 7 cities Conference on Housing First and Homelessness attracted over 410 delegates, 85 presenters and people from across Canada.

When we were planning for the event, we wanted to create a space where knowledge could be shared, ideas sparked and successes recognized, as well as a place to learn from mistakes so we could all do better. We also wanted to create a space where we celebrated the amazing people who are at the front lines and in the back offices planning, organizing and mapping out strategies to end homelessness.

We decided to create a Photo Booth with a Hero Wall — a space where delegates could dress up, act silly, and take photos of their ‘inner hero’. People were also invited to complete two statements on a piece of coloured paper — Ending homelessness means… and  Excellence already turns up in my work… and to hold their answers up while they were having their photo taken in the photo booth.

The second question came from a conversation I had prior to the conference with one of our Friday keynote speakers, Michelle Cederberg. When I explained the Hero Wall she quickly identified ways to tie it in with her talk — and even came to the Thursday noon keynote session to ensure she aligned her talk with the theme of the conference and the audience. Her insightful and high-energy talk on energizing for excellence inspired everyone with simple and practical ways to take care of themselves. She offered helpful tips on feeding and tapping into our personal pool of internal energy so that we can direct our outward attention, in a healthy way, at the important work of ending homelessness. (I highly recommend Michelle as a keynote speaker)

Ending homelessness is hard work.

Having fun is good self-care.

When we were in the planning stages for the conference there was some concern the Photo Booth would be a dud. Nobody would dress-up. People would think it was silly.

We needn’t have worried.

The Photo Booth was a huge hit!

It showed very clearly that — we all want/need to ‘let our sillies out’, as Week 7’s Act of Grace suggested.

Taking ourselves too seriously can wield a death blow to creativity, energy, enthusiasm and compassion.

Cutting loose, letting your hair down, letting it all hang out — they are antidotes to the weary that can overshadow our work and lives when we get stuck trying to push through each day pulling our energy out of an empty well.

Did you ‘let your sillies out’ last week? How did it go?

 

 

Acts of Service | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 6

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Did you look into your eyes in the mirror last week and say, “I love you”?

Did the voice, that irritating little critter-mind voice of self-doubt and critical intent jump in and whisper those nasty sweet nothings like, “Really? Who are you kidding?” “Don’t be ridiculous.”…

Did you feel silly? Uncomfortable? Embarrased?

If you felt any of the above, relax. You’re just human.

It happens to all of us. We want to applaud ourselves. Tell ourselves the things we love most about ourselves, and some little primordial voice, some voice from the distant past that admonishes us to “Not be conceited.” “Don’t get too high for your britches.” “Don’t be vain.” wants to leap in and save the day (or at least our egos) by keeping us from shining our light bright.

You are born to shine bright. The world needs our light to find its way out of the darkness. Keep shining. Keep celebrating the wonder of you. Who you are makes a difference.

And if by some chance you don’t believe me, watch the video below about one teacher’s brilliance in 1988 continues to inspire light up lives today.

 

 

Celebrate You | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 5

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I know. I know. Saying nice things about you, to you, from you, feels… conceited. Weird. Odd. Uncomfortable.

Don’t let critter-mind thinking steal your light. Don’t let doubt undermine your capacity to celebrate you!

To receive compliments from others, you have to be willing to hear them and accept their words as truth. And what better way to practice truth-hearing than all alone in your bathroom?

If you are uncomfortable standing in front of a mirror, looking into your eyes and saying, I Love You, ask yourself… What’s the worst that could happen?

So what if you blush? So what if you cry? You’re alone. Maybe you blush because it’s true and you’re afraid to state it. Maybe you’re afraid it’s not true and that makes you cry. Whatever the response, let it be what it is while you practice standing in front of a mirror, looking yourself in the eyes and saying, I Love You.

It’s good soul-food.

Some time ago a friend gave me a package of crayons that write on glass. For weeks, I wrote a love note to my beloved every morning on the bathroom mirror. At first, he didn’t say much and then, he started to write me notes on the mirror in our bedroom.

What a gift.

I loved getting his messages. I loved knowing he was thinking of me. (Note to Self:  Dig out the crayons. Get writing again!)

So, if you are uncomfortable writing the love note to yourself, write it to someone else — and then… read it out loud to yourself!

Bonus! The other person, whether they read it or not, will have ‘received’ your gift of words, and so will you!

Go ahead. Explore what it means to say nice things about yourself. Let your imagination run wild. In its wild cavorts of fancy and delight, the critter-mind won’t be able to find the air to flare up and douse your passionate embrace of you with its flames of condescension and condemnation! YES!

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Last week’s Act of Grace — to share a hug — brought interesting results. I started with people at the office and found both joyful acceptance and guarded acceptance. But always there were smiles.

I asked a woman at the grocery store who shared a story while we looked over the tomatoes if she would like a hug and she promptly said, “Yes!” There we were, standing heart to heart in the produce aisle, surrounded by plump fresh vegetables and fruits. I swear they did a little dance!

When a man at the park offered Beaumont some water, I didn’t ask if I could give him a hug of gratitude. I did thank him and say, “That is very kind.” Like readers said, being conscious of boundaries is important.

A little girl gave me the best hug ever. She is the grand-daughter of a woman I often encounter at the dog park and when I met her, I didn’t need to ask if she wanted a hug. She just stepped in and hugged me. Pure delight! Of course, Beaumont wanted in on the action too, which made her giggle with pure delight.

An interesting self-observation I notice is that the further in time I get from a week of coaching at Choices, the less likely I am to hug people when I meet them. I think it comes from feeling safe, or not, in the world. The Choices seminar room is an incredibly safe and loving space, I don’t ‘think’ about hugging, I just do it. In the beautiful, rarified air of love and acceptance that I find in the Choices environment, connecting with people is easy, effortless and second nature.

Did you hug last week? What did you observe?

Namaste.

 

 

 

 

Share your Smile | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 1

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On January 1st, 2012 when I began this blog (originally called, A Year of Making a Difference) my intent was to explore what it means to make a difference in the world.

Working at a homeless shelter for 6 years, it was fairly easy to make a difference every day. It was fairly easy to feel like I was living on purpose.

But what about when I wasn’t at the shelter? What about when I wasn’t working in an environment that naturally brought countless opportunities to make a difference just by being present to those around me?

Ahh, now there was a challenge. Or so I thought.

Making a difference is not a choice. It’s not a ‘thing’ we do or way we act.

We are the difference we make in the world. By the very act of being present on this earth, we make a difference. The air I inhale came from the air you exhale. The air I exhale becomes the air you breathe in. When we move, the space around us moves too.

Like a butterfly’s wings fluttering in Africa creating waves on other side of the globe, our presence in this world makes a difference.

The quality of our difference is created in the choices we make. It is in how conscious we are willing to become of how we express our difference that we create change for the good, or not. To be the change we want to see in the world, we must know what that change is.

I believe we are all born magnificent. That our birthright is to shine, to radiate, to be lights illuminating the darkness.

I believe we are all capable of greatness because greatness is inherent in our human nature.

I believe we are all connected through this condition called being human and in that connection is the capacity to make a difference for one another by being present to one another.

How do I want to express my difference in this world? With grace and ease.

Living in grace and ease does not always come effortlessly. Some days, when the sky is dark and shadows are long, it is easy to forget my desire to express myself through grace. Some days, it’s easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of life and forget all about rising above as I sink into the quagmire of being busy, or letting doubt, fear, confusion and a host of other non-productive human conditions pull me from my path.

It is in those moments I must stop, and breathe and act out — with grace.

For the next 52 weeks, every Monday I will be sharing one act of grace to inspire your every day living.

My goal is to practice each act of grace in my life every day. Some of the ideas I share may be things you do everyday, or maybe what I share will ignite your imagination to share some of your own acts of grace. I invite you to share them with me and everyone else here.

I hope you join in. I hope you share your ideas so that together, we can be like the butterflies and create waves of change all over the world.

Who knows what magic and wonder will arise as we delve into the joy of inspiring acts of grace in every day living.

Namaste.

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