It is our last day here — last day on the Island, last day at The Haven, last day taking part in Come Alive.

Last days are new beginnings. As we complete the circle of our learning in Come Alive, we open up to the ripple of our being connected forever in this special time and place we have shared. And in this ending, a beginning opens up with all its limitless possibilities for new opportunities to begin again. Always begin again.

As I begin again, I think about what has shifted, what has changed, what is different within me and and around me and know that in my difference I will continue to expand the me I am in the world. Making, being, celebrating my difference, your difference, our difference to create a world of love, of joy and laughter, of peace and harmony. A world where dreams come true as we the dreamers awaken to the wonder of expressing how we are in a world that sees us through loving eyes as who we truly are — different yet the same.

I have loved this experience. The digging in, encountering, exploring, acknowledging and enlivening the differences I feel when I try something… different.

Having coached for so many years in Choices and taken many different programs a friend asked me the other day — but why do you keep doing it? Why do you keep wanting to make yourself better?

It’s not about ‘better’, I replied — though better is always nice! It’s about deepening my experience of me and with me in the world. It’s about gaining understanding, knowledge, awareness of how I encounter different people and circumstances in the world and living up to my true essence, free, alive and open to being me in all kinds of weather, all different circumstances in all my many ways.

It is my last day here on Gabriola Island. For the past six days I have been sheltered, supported, and embraced by 14 fellow travellers looking to find themselves in a world made different because they are present in it.

In my presence here, I have been made different, and made a difference. I have received gifts and shared my gifts so that we could all travel together into the depths of our inner beauty, light and darkness, joy and sorrow without fearing who we are does not make a difference.

We all make a difference. We are all different. Yet the same.

We are all human beings on the journey of our live time.

May we all know that in our journey through life, the difference we make is the ripple of our passing through time and space embracing those we meet in the beauty and wonder of who we are.

May your day be filled with the light of love, the joy of acceptance and the beauty of who you are shining brightly in the world around you.

Namaste.

When I picked up my friend TZ from the 1:30 ferry, our intent was to drive to my sister’s house where she would drop her stuff, pick up Ellie and then drive me back to the Haven for my afternoon session. And then, as we drove up from the ferry terminal onto the North Rd that circumvents the island, we saw a woman hitchhiking. She was laden down with two big bags of groceries so I stopped and offered her a lift. It is common practice on the island, to give people lifts as there is no transit and as far as I can tell, no cab service either.

“Where are you going to?” I asked when she loaded herself and her groceries into the car.

“As far south as you can take me,” she replied. “I usually take the South Rd. but wanted to check out the GYRO (an island flea market). I’ve only been living on the island a month,” she added in a rush of breath that filled the car with her smoky exhalation.

And so, we drove her, all the way around the island back to where she’s rented a room in a house. The long way. The scenic tour, as I jokingly told TZ.

After dropping her off, and learning she had moved from Winnipeg to Nanaimo to the island after losing the job she’d found there, “I don’t like Nanaimo. At all,” she asserted, TZ and I continued on the long route back to my sister’s house.

Along the way, we spied another hitchhiker. A scruffy, bearded man of indiscriminate age, he reminded me of clients at the homeless shelter where I used to work.

Now, to be clear, I do not normally pick-up hitchikers. But, on Gabriola, it seems a natural thing to do. And so, when Clyve climbed into the car there was nothing uncomfortable about having him there. Though he did smell a bit…. rank.

“I live on Munch,” he told us. “I bring my boat across. Just going to the Town Centre.”

“Been there 14 years,” he told us in response to my question. “Health reasons. I couldn’t do the hard labour I was doing any more. Needed somewhere cheap and truth be told, somewhere I could be alone. Must of us on Munch are like that,” he added. “We tend to keep to ourselves.”

“How many people live on Munch?” I asked.

“Well, in the winter months it’d be ‘bout 40 maybe 50 of us. Summer of course is different. It’s crazy busy with boaters.”

And he chatted away, sharing stories of his health concerns, his decision to quit drinking and smoking dope, other than for medicinal purposes, six years ago. By the time we dropped him off at the Town Centre, he was chattering away like a magpie.

I imagined his words were held close on the Munch. No one but nature to share them with. He needed the release.

While I do not suggest picking up hitchhikers, I do believe it’s important to make room for strangers to tell their stories.

In their telling, we are all ‘made different’ by the sharing. And in the sharing of our stories, we make way for ripples that connect us to spread out into the world.

Namaste.

When I first hear the story of how he came upon Aurora Winter’s book, From Heartbreak to Happiness, I am entranced.

“I was walking in a park with my dog. I sat down on a bench to look out at the view across the water and there, at the end of the bench was this book with a note stuck to it,” he told me as we chatted over a tea.

On the book was a note:  This book really helped me when I was grieving the loss of someone I love. If you are called to pick it up, perhaps it will help you too. And when you’re done, please pass it along.

He was ‘called to’ pick it up. His heart was heavy from several losses in his life.

And just as the giver promised, the book helped him. And then, he passed it along. To a young woman he met one day in passing. She too carried a heavy heart and was called to pick it up.

What a beautiful way to make a difference in the world. To pass along, either anonymously or purposefully, things that have helped us heal. In this case, a book. Imagine what else we could pass along!

For years, I collected heart shaped rocks. I’d written a story for my daughters when they were young about a girl with a heart of gold and a king with a heart of stone. The story talks about how through her loving attention, his heart of stone becomes warm and caring. The moral of the story being, “even a heart of stone can be warmed in loving hands.”

As I drove across the Rockies, from Calgary to the coast, I had several heartrocks in the car with me. Occassionally I would hold one and feel its warmth as I held it. It’s been awhile though since I held a heart rock, warmed it up and then passed it along to people I meet so that they too can feel the magic and warmth of that tiny rock and its significance of sharing our warmth and love.

Time to begin again. Always begin again.

What ideas do you have for sharing healing in the world? There are so many pockets, landmines actually, of pain and suffering. What small yet significant thing could you do today to share healing, love and warmth with those you meet?

I love the idea of starting with a book on a bench. Or perhaps left behind on the table of a coffee shop. Or beneath a tree in your favourite park.

We can all make a difference in our world. And together, we make a world of difference.

Namaste.

(I am on Gabriola Island, loving and being in this healing place at The Haven.)

I am on Gabriola Island to take a course at The Haven, a beautiful retreat on the ocean. My goal is to post every morning, but Internet access has been dicey as I can’t get my computer to sync properly at the Retreat centre and am resorting to a local coffee shop — albeit a beautiful local coffee shop. Mad Rona’s is  set in the forest beside a brook. Quite lovely. It gets its name from the Madrona trees that populate the island with majestic grace.

Gabriola Island is all about community. During the winter, the population maxes out at 2,500 residents. Come summer, it will double to 5,000, changing the texture and the context of Island life, but not its sense of community.

Yesterday, at the coffee shop, I chatted with a woman who told me what community means for her, and how she contributes to its presence in her life.

We look out for each other, she said. We care.

One of the things this woman does to create value in her community, and to let people know she values them, is drop little notes beneath their front doors.

I love the idea that they’ll awaken to a ‘love note’ from me, she said. The huge smile lighting up her face showed her sincerity and joy in writing about her appreciation to her neighbours.

I like to tell them how I appreciate that they keep their grass cut, or that they always pick up after their dog, or don’t water their lawns in the summer (water is always in shortage on the Island). it’s so much better than calling the cops on people or complaining about the noise or junk in their yards.

I thought of my neighbours whom I still haven’t met (and yes, I did commit to doing that in January!) I remind myself of what I must do when I fall, or don’t do what I committed to do — Always begin again.

Can I use this young woman’s practice to connect with my neighbours in Calgary? I wonder.

What about the man across the street who always shovels his walk. Always. I see him every morning while sitting at my desk. He inspires me, and motivates me to get out and do mine too!

What about the older couple next door who are always tending their lawn and flower beds. They remind me to take pride in how the outside, not just the inside, of my home looks.

And the man down the street who walks the entire block shovelling the snow away with his snow-blower after big snowfalls.

Would he too benefit from a note slid under his front door, or into his mailbox, telling him how much I appreciate his efforts?

The answer is obvious. Of course he would!

Community makes a difference. The biggest differences community makes however are the efforts its members make to create that difference.

What kind of difference do I want to create in my community?

Am I a taker or a giver?

I’d like to be a giver — contributing value to making community work.

What about you? Are you willing to add value to your community by participating, however and whenever you can, in making a difference in your community that reflects what you’d like to see in the world?

I am.

Care to join me?

A friend signed me up for his blog. I read, and read some more, every day for weeks. One day, I commented. He responded and thus began a friendship that has spanned hundreds of blogs and thousands and thousands of words.

He is a writer, a philosopher, a wit and a human being of great heart.

Today, Mark Kolke, who has written every day for the past nine years at Mark is Musing, shares his philsophy and outlook on the importance of volunteering. An avid volunteer, Mark continues to inspire people every day with his insight, self-disclosures and openness on the journey of his lifetime.

Thank you Mark for giving of yourself so generously and effortlessly. Thank you for your friendship. You make a difference in my life, and the world.

***************************************************

Volunteer . . . . … a little bit of time.

guest blog by Mark Kolke

I’ve been a volunteer in a variety of ways for more than 30 years. In Edmonton, at first it was sports things, school and community things – mostly ‘kid things’ as my children were growing up.  Sure, I would donate money to causes, buy raffle tickets and attend fundraising events – but actual ‘roll up your sleeves’ volunteering, I was on the sidelines. Looking back that was fine, but I needed a cause to stir me to action.

A fine old gentleman named Bill Pettigrew came by my office one day, for coffee and – so I thought – to chinwag about a recent campaign we’d worked on, about working with Bill and his tireless wife Edith who had been involved in political campaigns since the 1930s when Bill had worked for R.B. Bennett (yes, the former Prime Minister) in his Calgary campaigns.  It turned out the Bill wanted to recruit me to sit on a volunteer board for a social services organization – one that provided services to persons with developmental disabilities.  With some reluctance (a field I knew nothing about), I was convinced by Bill-the-flatterer that the board needed business skills and talents I might bring to the table.  I joined that board …. spent 6 years there, 2 as chair and I was hooked!  Not just hooked on the cause which has led to many adventures in advocacy and service work for persons with disabilities.  But hooked on Volunteering.

People I met led me to other stints, other things. Driving Meals on Wheels on Christmas Day when all the regular drivers were enjoying a well deserved day off. The range, over many years has been awesome. I’ve met incredible staff, fellow volunteers and community members from all walks of life.  I’ve made some business connections, personal connections and unforgettable characters …. all through volunteering.

I don’t intend to recite my involvements or the many wonderful organizations I’ve been involved in, because that isn’t the point of this piece and  I don’t want to leave anyone or any organization out … I’ve yet to be involved in one I didn’t like.

The point of volunteering is pretty simple – helping somebody or some organization in need of help.  It is likely to be more complex than stuffing envelopes, sweeping a floor, or painting a fence – all worthy work.

In Calgary we have a tradition of community involvement, from grunt labour to extensive philanthropy – but in between, thousands of ordinary people give a few hours a week, or a month, or a year to help someone out.  My view is, give what you can, when you can and you will never feel shortchanged and you will never find the recipients to be ungrateful.

In my role as a member of the Speaker’s Bureau at Volunteer Calgary, I visit groups to explain volunteering opportunities and educate people about the resources of Volunteer Calgary – an umbrella volunteer recruiting organization representing over 400 Calgary organizations and agencies.

Give a little or give a lot – the measurement will be in hours. The value, the dividend, will be paid back with a sense of purpose, self-worth and value that cannot be purchased in any store, qualities and fulfillment than never has an expiry date.

If you’ve volunteered a little or a lot, congratulations. If you haven’t then consider whether it is time to start.  Like any long term solid investment, sometimes it is best to start small and spread your investment around.

The biggest surprise most first time volunteers find is how easy it is to help.  Of course they will be asked to help again, help some more, help with something else . . . because that is how volunteering works.

It works very well indeed.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be speaking for an hour to a small group of seniors who are suffering from depression and anxiety. I’ll spend an hour with them, reminding them of their own past volunteer experiences and encouraging them to give some more, to give again of their richest resource … a little bit of time.

Click this link to browse current Volunteer Opportunities

Thank you Mark for inspiring all of us to give a little, give a lot but whatever we do…. volunteer!   To catch up on Mark’s blog — click HERE.

For the past three years Calgary, where I live, has been working on its “Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness.” One of the biggest shifts since ‘ending homelessness’ became a part of the city’s social consciousness, and an official component of its social policy structure, is the decrease in panhandlers on our streets. Agency workers, in consort with police and other emergency services and city workers are continually scanning the streets for individuals in need of assistance. In their efforts to provide appropriately framed help that reflects the individual’s level of need, they have made a difference.

I believe raising the goal of ‘ending homelessness’ into the public psyche is vital if we are to create kinder, more caring communities. When one person falls on the street, we all fall. Providing essential care, from emergency shelter to food and clothing, and assisting in ensuring every individual receives support to address their personal needs, is critical to creating opportunities for those experiencing homelessness, and its many contributing factors, to find their way back home.

Here in Vancouver where I am currently visiting, a ‘plan to end homelessness’ was introduced last fall. And, while street homelessness has declined significantly since its high in 2008, panhandlers are very evident on the downtown streets. As in other metropolis across North America, cost of housing, addictions, lack of jobs, mental health issues, and a complex myriad of other causes contribute to ongoing homelessness. Subsequently, in a city deemed ‘the most expensive city to live in North America‘ which also boasts a temperate climate, visibly homeless individuals of all ages wander the streets, sit with hats upturned on the pavement before them, panhandling, or, aimlessly waiting for ‘that something’ that will make sense of where the path away from home has led them.

Homelessness is a complex social issue that eats at the fibre of our communities, spilling people onto the streets who never dreamt this is where they would find themselves. Helping them find a way back home is vital, important and at times, exhausting, work.

When I worked at a homeless shelter in Calgary, I believed it was vital that agencies work together, collaborate and cooperate in finding solutions that address not only the immediate needs of the people being served, but that also addressed the social and economic contributors that were leading so many people to our streets.

Being here in Vancouver, I am reminded of that imperative again. One person, one group, one agency cannot solve the social and economic issues that contribute to homelessness in one person’s life. Only through working together, only through having a goal and a dream of ‘ending homelessness’ can we build pathways that support individuals in their quest to come in from the cold.

Hats off to the team at the Calgary Homeless Foundation and to other organizations with the spirit, heart and vision to build the dream for all of us to follow. Kudos to all the agencies, from the shelters to social services to emergency services to housing support, who assist individuals to stay alive, and reclaim their lives, away from the street. And, near and dear to my heart,  ‘big props’ to the arts and culture groups who create innovative programs to assist individuals both with the lived experience of homelessness and the artists and art groups with a desire to connect and inspire individuals on the streets and in communities in decline  to discover their dreams once again through exploring their creative essence. (ie “Art from the Ashes” — Detroit’s Heidleberg Project)

And blessings to those experiencing homelessness. Homelessness is not a dream they once held near to their hearts. It is a nightmare that only love and time and sustainable action through communities that care can help them awaken from.

People working together to end homelessness are Heroes!

And people experiencing homelessness, people sharing their lived experiences of homelessness and those seeking to understand and take action — you are all heroes too.

Coming through winter on The Roger's Pass

On May 21, 2003 at 9:14am  two police officers walked in and arrested the man who was busy trying to organize my demise. I didn’t care. I had spent so many months wishing I was dead, immersed in thoughts of suicide that I wanted him to do it, to get rid of me, to end it all so that I wouldn’t have to carry the pain and sorrow and grief of what I had done to my life, and my daughters’ lives and the lives of those I loved any longer. And then, a blue and white police car drove up and delivered a miracle — I got my life back.

In the hours following his arrest, I sat in catatonic horror looking at the devastation of my life, trying to grapple with what I would do next. I had 72 cents in my pocket, a few clothes and Ellie, my golden retriever.

I did the only thing I could think of. I phoned my sister Anne who lived an hour away from where I had been hiding out for almost four months while ‘the man’ tried to devise a scheme to escape Canada and get rid of me in the process.

I was blessed. Like my daughters, they had spent the final months of my journey into hell not knowing if I was alive or dead. Too beaten down, too frightened and too far into the web of his control, I hadn’t let anyone know where I was or what had happened to me. It didn’t matter to my sister and her husband, Lee. Without any questions or recriminations, they came and got Ellie and me and took us to their home. It was in the safety of their home I began the journey back to myself.  I lived with Anne and Lee for a year and a half and in that time found myself on the other side of the dark days. I found myself coming home to myself, joyful, exuberant and living life fearlessly in Love.

I am blessed. Anne and Lee were the difference between my falling into despair or coming out on the other side of the pain. I am grateful.

Last night, after driving through spring and winter, bare roads and slushy conditions, rain and sleet, Ellie and I arrived safely to a welcome of a warm dinner, a glass of wine and beautiful companionship.

It was a good drive yesterday. I played tunes, sang at the top of my lungs. Listened to CBC radio when I could get a signal in the  mountains as Ellie slept in the back seat. As we drove into Vancouver, her head popped up and she sat up to watch the city emerge out of the rain and fog that had been clinging to the sides of the mountains as we crossed to the leeward side of the coastal range.

It is her first time back since I left Vancouver in 2005 to move back to Calgary to live once again with my daughters.

I am different now. Life is different now and thanks to Anne and Lee, my daughters and I have healed and our lives are so much different than what might have been had they not responded so lovingly to the miracle of my getting my life back on that day in May almost 9 years ago.

I am off on an adventure today. Heading west to The Haven on Gabriola Island for a one week course, Come Alive and then, Easter in Vancouver with my daughters — I am stoked!

Ellie is coming along on this journey. She’s all dolled up with a new do (her spring shave down) and is lookin’ real purdee. I’m not sure who is most excited, me about spending a weekend with my daughters or my eldest daughter Alexis about getting to see her Ellie for a few days!

Yesterday, in preparation for my journey, I got new tires, an oil and filter change and just a general tune-up of my car. And yes, I realize I did literally leave it to the last day — it was all in my plan. (wink, wink)

When I went to the tire/tune up store (Lionel at Ok Tire on Richmond Road really rocks!) I took Ellie with me because I knew my car would be a couple of hours and one of my favourite coffee places is just a 20 minute walk away from the shop.

Ellie was a big hit. She pranced into the store, all proud of her new do and pink ribbon tied to her collar. (okay so maybe she feels a bit self-conscious about the pink bow but it’s really cute!) Lionel who owns and manages the store has a 14 year-old Dalmatian/Border Collie cross and was immediately on side with Ellie’s wish to be pet and oohed and aahed over. Another man in the store shared his stories of his dog, Jethro, who went to doggie heaven several years ago. We chatted and laughed and everyone was smiling when we left.

Which brings me to one of the greatest lessons on making a difference in the world.

Take a dog with you where ever you go. They’re real ice breakers!

While sitting in the warm afternoon sun on the patio of the coffee shop Ellie and I walked to, a mother walked by with her two twin daughters. “Can they pet your dog?” she asked.

Ellie was most obliging.

The twins laughed and giggled, never once letting go of the stuffed toy gopher they held between her. I joked and told them that Ellie really likes gophers. One of the twins eyes widened. “My name’s Ella!” she exclaimed.

“Ellie’s named after Ella Fitzgerald,” I told her (like I thought a four year-old would know the great Ella!)

The mother smiled and Ella looked at me with a somewhat confused expression on her face.

“Do you sing?” I asked.

“Oh yes!” she replied and promptly burst into a verse of one of my favourites, “Inch by inch. Row by row.”

The entire patio stopped for a collective moment to smile and wonder at the joy of this small child singing in the afternoon sun.

Such innocence. Such beauty. Such natural joy.

Now those are differences the world could use more of!

As you travel through your day today, watch for moments where you can sing in the sunshine, or the rain. And let lose. Be silly. Be funny. Be full of joy! Share a smile or many!

I know I’ll be travelling down that long ribbon of road, heading west, and singing my heart out. Me and Ellie-mcgee. “Cause freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose.’ And we’ve all got everything to gain by living life large, being the difference we want to see in the world.

Have a great one!

It is interesting to make a commitment to write in this space everyday about making a difference in the world. Interesting and not always easy.

The question that faces me most mornings is…. so, Louise, what did you do yesterday to make a difference in the world? And some days, it’s not always easy to see ‘the difference’.

Like yesterday where,  in an attempt to lessen my footprint on our planet, I did not drive my car, nor spend any money.

Does the universe really care?

Perhaps not. But I do. I care about keeping my commitments. And not driving my car one day a week nor spending money one day a week is a commitment I made at the beginning of the year as part of my commitment to consciously focus on what it is, and what it takes to make a difference in the world everyday.

I think what surprises me most about not driving or spending money is how hard it can be. Without thinking, I will grab my car keys to race off the grocery story — if I’m not conscious of what I’m doing. Like yesterday, my daughter and her boyfriend were coming for dinner and I realized I needed…. No. Stop. You will have to use what is in your kitchen to make dinner, Louise, my inner guide reminded me as I was getting my coat on.

Oh, can’t I make tomorrow my day of not driving…

No, she said firmly (she can be quite bossy that inner sergeant major, oops, I mean, guide). Tomorrow you have errands to do (like get the oil changed on your car) before leaving for Vancouver. You do need to drive and spend money tomorrow. Today, is the day you made the commitment. Take your coat off. Go check out the fridge.

Sighing, knowing she was right, (but seriously, I wish sometimes she’d just let me take the easy way out for once…)  I checked out the fridge and discovered I had the makings of a great dinner waiting to be whipped together with just a little bit of creativity and a whole lot of love.

In the end, the three of us shared a delightful dinner complete with Falafel appetizers with Tahini sauce and a main course of  homemade seafood pasta and salad and a delightful bottle of wine from Jesse Willis’ new wine store — which if you haven’t visited it and are in Calgary — do!  Jesse is a friend of my daughters’ and a great young man. Vine Arts Wine and Spirits is the fruition of a dream come true for Jesse — you can check it out on Facebook — there’s a Grand Opening on Saturday — the store is beautiful, the atmosphere welcoming and Jesse and his team love to treat every customer with care and attention, sharing their wealth of knowledge of wines and spirits freely and graciously.

So, the difference I made in the world may have been infintisimal in the grand scheme of world peace, or climate change, or keeping the economic engines turning, but it was significant in my world. Because, keeping my commitments keeps me on the positive side of the ledger of feeling good about myself and my presence  in the world.

And how I am, what I do, what I create makes a difference in the world everyday when I am giving my best and doing my most to share the best that I can be!

Namaste

Yesterday, as I drove and snow fell in big white fluffy flakes I found myself irritated with other drivers. And then, can you believe it! I tried to use my handsfree to make a call to let someone know I was late getting to our meeting and the electronic voice kept getting the number wrong. I mean seriously. It’s not like I was mumbling or anything. What’s her problem?

I had to laugh outloud as I gave a sarcastic “You suck!” to the disembodied voice in my Bluetooth, after my third attempt to get her to get it right.

Gotta admit, it was a good thing I was alone in my vehicle as my energy was not fit for the world.

What was I really irritated about? Definitely not some cyber-generated voice. More likely it had to do with my angst of leaving on Thursday for two weeks to the coast and not having organized anything I need to do before I go.

And still, I tried to take it out on an electronic voice that truly didn’t care.

Eventually, after three times of trying to get her to get the number right, I pulled over and dialed it myself.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. 

And something I’ve always done (quite well I must admit) is to allow my ennui and angst override my well-being.

To make a difference in the world, I must be accountable for my emotions and how I express them.

Yesterday, as I found my ire rising over a simple mis-communication with a disembodied voice, my patience waned and I turned my ire against other drivers. I had a chance to let someone in, chose to ignore it. Someone cut me off, I forgot to welcome them in with a kind, “Bless them. Forgive me.”

All things are connected.  How I do one thing is how I do all things.

When I let silly little things like an electronic voice’s mis-interpretation disturb my peace of mind, I am letting the world and myself down. I let go of being the difference I want to make and become the problem.

Eventually, I made it to my meeting, my mood somewhat restored by finding a parking spot directly in front of where I needed to be. Have I ranted yet about the cost of parking in Calgary? No? Well, let me tell you….

No. Stop. Let me not tell you about my ire. Let me tell you about my joy, my abundance, my many blessings.

To be the difference I want to see in the world, I must begin with counting my blessings and sharing my gifts and joy with abandon. In turning my focus to my abundance, the small stuff wanes in comparison and I am restored to a state of peace, love and joy where my ripple radiates outward in a sea of harmony.