Where Is The Love? Dave Cunnin – guest post

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Dave Cunnin has a heart of an artist. His palette is the Soul. Dave challenges our assumptions with loving grace, asking us to look at where we stand in the truth of what we are creating in the world. In is guest post, Where Is The Love, he states, “Work is an act of service and service with love is our highest calling.”

Dave’s story today teaches the gift of being of service as both the servant and the one being served with humility and love.

Thanks Dave!

Where Is The Love?

by Dave Cunnin

www.harmoniousflow.com

“Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, 
it is better that you should leave your work 
and sit at the gate of the temple 
and take alms of those who work with joy.”
Kahlil Gibran

There used to be a sign posted in many retail, service and restaurant establishments saying:

If you liked our service, tell others.
If you didn’t like our service, tell us.

I haven’t seen that sign for years. I think for good reason. Let’s face it, customer service is becoming as obsolete as green space in our cities. I recently attempted to purchase a vehicle. I felt I was being led down a narrowing cattle shoot of un-disclosure and misdirection where, at the end of the line the vehicle cost bore little relation to its advertised price. I made a difference. I chose not to buy the vehicle. Furthermore I openly and empathetically shared my concerns about their procedures with the sales person and the sales manager. They responded with rationalizations. Underlying all of this is a lack of trust. They don’t trust the customer, the customers don’t trust them. A significant moment, a moment that should be happy and joyous was turned into a duel.

We don’t buy things, we buy feelings. We don’t do things, we create feelings. At our core, we are feeling beings; the world of commerce appears to have forgotten that. Sure they use fear, sure they use guilt, intimidation, and pressure. When I requested time to consider the deal before finalizing it, the salesperson only expressed concern about how her bosses would feel if I left without putting down a deposit. What am I? Who am I? I was a person preparing myself to make a major commitment, all they could see was a sale.

It is not just dealerships, it is everywhere. I notice that while service clerks may be pointing their eyes in my direction (eye contact is another thing that is fading), their focus and their attention is directed towards their bosses and the business. Clerks, sales people, service reps used to approach with an attitude of “how can I help you?” Now the attitude feels like “what can I get from you?”

What struck me and disturbed me the most when discussing my concerns with the sales person and the sales manager was their unawareness that anything could be amiss in their protocol and procedures. Our work and our society has been gravitating to a point where counting transactions is more important than building a relationships. Work is an act of service and service with love is our highest calling.

I believe we can all make a difference by, as customers, politely speak out when we feel devalued and as employees by  asking the questions “Who are we serving?” “What are we serving?”  Tasks in themselves have little meaning. The wealth and richness inherent in work is derived from our opportunities to interact with others while we perform the tasks. As Kahlil states, if we cannot serve with love, we are better off allowing others to serve us with love.

Celebrating the heroes in our midst (a Saturday Feature)

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I had coffee with one of my favourite heroes yesterday, Ian Prinsloo. Excerpted from his bio at The Rehearsal Process — in formal terms, “Ian is a professional theatre director with over 20 years experience working across Canada… Recently Ian has been exploring theatre outside of theatre. His graduate research (MFA, University of Calgary) focused on how the alternative ways of knowing developed through actor training and enacted in the rehearsal process could be developed in people outside of theatre and how those abilities prepare groups to engage in change processes.”

In real life terms, Ian is a man with a great heart, inquiring mind and enormous capacity to, as he calls it, be comfortable in the field of inciting change. I first met Ian at the shelter where I used to work when he came in to work on The Lower Depths Project he created for the National Conference on Homelessness held at the University of Calgary in February of 2009.  “The Lower Depths Project explored the lived experiences of people connected to the issue of homelessness through theatre practices; in doing so it was seeking to create an opening for alternative views of the issue to emerge”, his bio states.

Ian knows how to touch hearts and open minds, to see possibility in everything and to be open and generous with his enormous talent.

Ian is a hero. 

Max Cielsielski. was one of the participants in The Lower Depths Project and continues to be a supporter and participant in The DI Singers. A gifted artist, carpenter, musician Max is a man of great heart and deep soul. Max was a founding artist of the art program I started at the shelter, and one of its strongest supporters. His generosity of spirit, his willingness to explore his creativity and to share his discoveries inspires me. Max is a beautiful soul who never ceases to leave me breathless at the beauty and magnificence of the human spirit.

Max is a hero.

I first met Des Nwaerondu at the TEDxCalgary event last November where I was a presenter and he was one of the participants. We met for coffee in January and  I sat in awe of this young man who is committed to make a difference in the world, and who is doing it everyday. Des takes action. Des makes change happen — and in his doing, creates opportunities for others to see their power to create change too. You can read Des’ blog HERE, and follow him on twitter here — @AdvisorDes. He’s always got lots of good information to share on creating wealth in your world — he’s an accomplished wealth advisor by day and a heart-driven philanthropist at all times.

Des is a hero.

Heroes in Our Midst would not be complete without a video of someone, something in the world that inspires creativity, wonder and awe. My friend Maureen at Writing Without Paper shares a VIMEO video of music expressed as a rollercoaster ride this morning on her Saturday Shares (My finds are your finds) — Its fun and exciting to watch and makes me marvel at the ingenuity of the human spirit! Enjoy!

ZKO Rollercoaster // GREAT EMOTIONS from virtual republic on Vimeo.

How are you sharing your difference?

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I drove to Innisfail yesterday to deliver a talk to the Rotary Club on… making a difference in the world through the stories we tell.

Presentation finished, lunch wrapped up. Thank you’s and You’re welcome’s shared, I drive back towards Calgary. The landscape unfolds all around me. Big sky. Wide open prairies. To the west, the Rockies edge the horizon, their razor-sharp ridges lumbering across the landscape like a giant dinosaur at rest. Wispy white clouds scuttle across the sky, windswept, snow-covered grain fields undulate to the east, dotted with skeletons of trees awaiting spring where farm houses and ranch lands meet.

I play tunes. Loud. Alone in my car it is me and Rachmaninoff. Keith Jarrett. Eddie Fedder. Eclectic. Surprising. Energizing. Like my day. Each note made different by the last.

I think about all the service clubs whose members do so much in our world. The Rotary in Innisfail have a team leaving for Uganda next week. In a small village they’ll build a well, a school-house, take supplies and work alongside villagers looking to create a better world for their children and families.

As I write, there are other groups, men and women from prairie towns and big city towers, who are out there somewhere in the world, lending a hand, giving of their time, treasures, and talents to create a world of difference.

When I get home from my drive, I receive a phone call asking me to sit on an Advisory board for a large not-for-profit that focuses on global issues affecting all of us. I immediately say yes. I want to be part of the difference we make when we join together and create a world fit for all mankind.

What about you? How are you sharing your difference with the world today?

I Appreciate You because you make life better

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It is a simple act that creates a world of difference.

Tell someone what you appreciate about them.

Ever leave notes for your children or spouse/partner that go something like this…. Don’t forget to put the garbage out. Don’t forget to pick up milk. Don’t forget to do your homework. Don’t eat crackers and cheese on the living room couch!

Ever notice how more often the ‘dont’s’ come into play. How what you requested not happen, happens?

At Choices, the personal development/life skills course I took in April 2006 which I continue to volunteer in as a coach, there is a process called, The Gift I See In You.

Everyday, participants are encouraged to say to the another, The gift I see in you…. and then name that gift. Mothers to their children, sisters to brothers, husbands to wives, give the people in your life a gift, the program encourages, and miracles will happen. They will hear you differently, they will see themselves differently, your relationship will be made different.

And it’s true. Miracles happen when we give people the gifts we see in them, when we tell them what we appreciate about them instead of remind them of the list of don’ts they mustn’t forget.

And here’s the thing about ‘gifts’. They are given without expectation — there is no, now you give me one back because I gave you one. You don’t expect the birthday boy to give you a gift on his special day now do you?

Gifts are the same. Given freely. Given without expectation.

For years, when my daughters and I had finished the Choices we program, we regularly gave each other gifts. It became a playful and loving thing to do every night. We’ve fallen away from gift-giving as life has moved onward and busy-making has replaced conscious connection.

In the Poem a Day to my beloved that I am currently writing, I am reminded of the power of giving words of affirmation. For my partner, the receiving has become an awareness of how beautiful his heart is. And for me, it has shifted my focus from my ‘gripes’ to an appreciation of the grace and beauty in our relationship.

We all like to know, we all like to feel, appreciated.

And, it is so much more affirming to live with an appreciative heart!

Tell someone you love something you appreciate about them today. It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to come from the heart. “I appreciate how you take such good care of our family.”  “I appreciate how you came to dinner when you were called.”  “I sure appreciate how you cleared the table after dinner.” “I appreciate that you listened to me and didn’t try to fix the problem and instead gave me space to share my feelings.”  “I appreciate how you gave up your personal time to complete this project.” “I appreciate your speaking up in the meeting today and championing my idea”…

As Mother Theresa says, “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

In our hunger to ‘have’, let’s not forget to appreciate those who make the love we have so incredibly bright!

When I shift, everything shifts.

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Day 68 of consciously choosing to notice what it means and what it takes to make a difference in the world.

The lessons are simple.

It begins with me. My I Statement.

I am the difference I want to create in the world.

Making a difference requires Commitment.

Commit to your Be. Do. Have.

Focus on your Intention — how do you want to BE in the world.

Move through Attention — where will you focus your efforts on your DOing — what am I willing to DO to create what I want in the world

Find fulfillment of your vision in No Tension — that state of being where you HAVE balance and harmony in your being and doing what you want more of in the world. That place where you know, the Universe is on your side. The Universe is with you, for you, supporting you because it is in the best interests of the Universe that each of us shine.

Stay your path. The Path is the Way.

On Valentine’s Day I gave my beloved the gift of a poem a day for 14 days. I thought it was simple gift that would speak to him of my heart and love. I thought he would enjoy it. No expectations, I said. No need to respond. I’m sending you these poems as a gift. (He is currently living 500 km away and we only see each other every second weekend.)

I lied (didn’t mean to but I did have expectations).

I had lots and lots of expectations! And I let him know it. Even sent him ‘the script’ I’d written on day three about how he should be responding — you know, by my rules and all that. Naturally, his response was not all that ummm, positive.

I regrouped. Took a breath. Acknowledged I did have expectations and my expectations were pushing up against his natural resistance to my expectations. I wanted to quit. To pack up my words in a huff and take to the silent path of poutiness.

I remembered my desire to make a difference in his heart.

I began again where I was.

Always begin again.

I kept sending the poems. Every day. Dipping into that loving place where I write my heart out without expectation of the outcome.

What a difference.

We’re now on Day 30 and the process of writing of love every morning has changed where we are in our relationship. Everything has shifted. Intimacy has deepened. Openness has expanded. Togetherness has aligned.

When I shift, everything shifts.

That simple decision to write a poem a day has made a difference.

Sticking to it, even when the road got muddy, has made a difference.

When I shifted my expectations away from ‘what I want’ to accepting what is, everything was made different.

I’m now working on an online course to inspire others to engage in a similar process.

You make your Difference.

 

Have you told yourself today that ‘it doesn’t matter’. My difference doesn’t count. Nobody cares. Nobody gets ‘me’. Have you asked yourself, “What’s the point?” “Why bother?”

Shift.

Shift your perspective and know, when you shift, everything shifts.

We can all make a difference. It just takes shifting our perspective and opening up to what is without expectation it be any different than what it is.

Sometimes, all it takes to make a difference in the world is to commit to doing something different.

We are each the difference we seek to create in the world. Letting go and flying free of expectations gives us room to explore the space between where we’re at and what is being created in our difference.

Namaste.

 

 

Embracing my servant’s attitude

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It was an easy day to choose to not drive my car or spend money. The snow made driving tricky and, as I didn’t have any meetings scheduled, Ellie had to settle for a couple of walks around the neighbourhood — she didn’t care. She was just happy to be outside, in the snow, playing joyfully.

Because the snow kept falling, I had to shovel my walk twice yesterday. When I went out in the morning to do it, I noticed my two neighbours to the west were still snow-covered. Which, given the snow fell during the night, and work schedules, it’s often easy to leave the sidewalk shovelling until returning from work. I decided to pitch in, to clear their walks — and in the process, got a chance to spend more time outdoors while Ellie raced back and forth along my path, reveling in the snow. When I went out later last night, my neighbour to the east hadn’t come out to clear their walk since much earlier in the day. An older couple, I decided it was a good opportunity to play ‘snow angel’.

This morning, snow covers walks again — but, having kept up with its removal, the load of shoveling won’t be as great.

It is easy to make a difference when I enter my day with a servant’s attitude. Asking, ‘how can I be of service’ creates opportunities for making a difference. Choosing to shovel walks is the simple decision to not listen to the voice that says, “You shovel your own, Louise. Let them shovel theirs.”

Making a difference in the world isn’t about what I do for myself. It’s about what I choose to do for others. No need for fanfare. No need for applause. It is about the simple act of choosing to embrace a servant’s attitude and seek opportunities to be of service.

Yesterday, Cassandra at My Life is My Message posted simple yet powerful ideas on how to make a difference everyday in a post called, It’s the Little Things that Count. Do drop in to visit her if you get a chance — she’s currently in Bali and has posted the cutest photo of two monkies. I’ve invited her to be a guest blogger here some Sunday soon. If you’d like to submit a guest blog, please send me an email or leave a comment!  Thanks.

Together, we can make a world of difference!

 

Engage in the creation of beauty

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A new week. A new day. A new opportunity to make a difference.

It happens everyday. Every moment of every day. And something I’m learning through this process of being conscious of what it means to make a difference is that — being requires action.

Several people have commented to me that ‘you make a difference on blogs everyday Louise.’ Thank you — Fact is, the difference isn’t that I turn up and be present in this white space. It is that I consciously fill this white space with my best with my creative intention to inspire.

My presence, your presence, in the world makes a difference by our being here. Air is displaced. We create ripples of energy as we move through time and space. the challenge is — to ensure the energy we extend to the world is the kind of difference we want to see in the world.

I did an experiment on my walk with Ellie yesterday. We took the paved trail as the off-pavement trail was extremely mucky. As we walked east, I spied a crumbled up kleenex on the path. I only had one bag so I decided to leave the kleenex until our return — and also, to see if anyone else picked it up. We passed several people going in the opposite direction as Ellie and I continued eastward. When we turned around and came back, the kleenex was still there. Bless them. Forgive me. (you know I was thinking not all nice things about those who passed the garbage by…)

This isn’t about those who missed the garbage. It’s about, once again, the action I took to ‘make a difference’. My choice. My decision.

The beauty when we take action is that we create a difference for others to experience and enjoy (there’s that ripple). Absolutely no one will know what I did. And it doesn’t matter. It isn’t about others knowing. It’s about what I’m doing to be the difference I want to create in the world. To have left the kleenex would have made a difference — just not in the direction I want to go.

There is no stasis in being present in the world — we are constantly evolving, always moving towards or away from what we want to create. I want to create a world of beauty — to actively engage in my creation, I must take action, constantly to be actively engaged in creating beauty in the world around me. And that includes picking up garbage.

Ask yourself today — what am I willing to do to create the kind of world I want to live in?

And then, consciously look for opportunities to be engaged in its creation.

Namaste.

When Confidence Wanes by Joyce Wycoff (guest blog)

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A guest blog by Joyce Wycoff.

I first met Joyce a couple of years ago through my blog, Recover Your Joy. Her visit lead me to her blog, Imagine Joy Art — and I am so grateful. Over the past three years I have come to know and admire Joyce greatly. We’ve chatted on Skype, exchanged emails and a friendship I cherish has deepened through cyber-space. Recently, Joyce published, Joy After the Fire, a fascinating and inspiring book about her journey out of grief into joy after the death of her husband. Joyce’s vision is:  To Joyfully Connect & Expand The intention of my art is to create a web of joyful and peaceful connections, linking artist, art, and art lover with the Creative Spirit. The shared connections of art have the power to expand the human spirit and to touch and heal hearts which can then touch and heal our world.

And that is exactly what Joyce does.

When Confidence Wanes by Joyce Wycoff

 
About this image:  In the Garden of East and West by Joyce Wycoff

This is the image used on the invitation for Joyce Wycoff’s Featured Artist show
“Dynamic Dreamscapes” during the month of May
at the Gallery at Marina Square in Morro Bay, CA.  It is currently available at Xanadu Gallery.

**************************************************

First, I want to thank Louise for all the ways she makes a difference in our world.  Her constancy of support and friendship have encouraged me on my journey in a thousand ways.  I am honored to be offering this bit of encouragement to all of you and to thank you for all the ways you make a difference in our world.

I have a fantasy about making a difference:  I fly to Africa and bring light and laughter to the orphans of disease and war.  It’s a good fantasy … but, also one that I know I’ll never do, and that knowledge sometimes makes me feel inadequate.

Recently, however, I’ve been reminded that it’s not just the “Mother Teresa” acts that make a difference; sometimes just saying “yes” can make all the difference.  Almost 20 years ago, I said yes to a new idea that I had no credentials or credibility for attempting.  It was the days of fax machines so I sent out a message to about 30 of my associates basically asking if they would be interested in a new conference focused on creativity and innovation in business.  They said “yes” … or more accurately their response was pretty much, “If you build it, we will come.”  That little bit of encouragement empowered me.

So, I started down an unfamiliar path of designing and producing a conference.  Business innovation conferences are common today but back then it was unplowed ground and I felt ridiculous and fearful.  Who was I to be starting something like this?  But, based on the yes responses of my associates, I started putting together a cast of presenters.  The first guru I approached was Jerry McNellis, the developer of a powerful process of thoughtful collaboration he calls Compression Planning.

I will never forget the moment I called him and asked him (in the tiniest of voices) if he would fly across country to present to an unknown group of attendees at an unproven conference developed by a completely inexperienced planner for no fee … and would you mind paying your own expenses please.  No one could have been more surprised than I was when he said “yes.” It was the beginning of 14 years of a conference that changed a lot of lives … especially mine.

Last week I had a powerful experience of being mentored in my art career (see my blog post My Dinner with Jerome)  During our conversation, I suddenly felt strong and fearless, ready to follow this dream where, once again, I am in strange territory with no credentials for attempting what I want to do.  Jerry’s encouragement was the “yes” I needed.  (It’s interesting that both of my “yes men” were named Jerry.)

This morning I’m in Arroyo Grande (California’s beautiful central coast), writing this in a coffee shop.  On the way over here, I listened to a presentation from Deborah Ivanoff (one of the  SmArtist Telesummit 2012 presenters), who was talking about confidence and the power of remembering our successful memories when our confidence wanes.  She recommends having one or more of these memories at the ready as a “Confidence Emergency Kit.”

Confidence is key to making a difference in the world.  Confidence in our ideas.  Confidence in our ability to take them into the world.  Our memories of saying “yes” and having others say “yes” to us, can give us the confidence to face the uncertainties of today.

So, the next time your confidence wanes, remember your own memories of success.  Somewhere in that memory, you’ll find someone who said “yes” to you, and it will help you find someone who will say “yes” to you now.  And, if you want to help others make a difference in the world, help them remember their own memories of “yes.”  Ivanoff says, “Confidence is just a memory away.”

With confidence, each of us can make a difference in our world.


The Heroes Amongst Us

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First — before my heroes list — I need to mention a ‘comment attack’ from what appear to be spammers — this morning 71 comments appeared in my Spam Log — I waded through them and while a couple appeared legit, I don’t think they were, so I deleted all 71. If I inadvertently deleted a comment from you, my apologies. Please resubmit if possible. Thanks.

And now… The Heroes Amongst Us.

My friend Dave T is a hero. I worked with him for ten months at the shelter where I used to work and I was in awe of his knowledge and professional in fund-raising. Post working together, Dave continues to share his time, talent and expertise without hesitation. Yesterday I met him to discuss a grant proposal I’m preparing for a project and he offered up all sorts of ideas and brainstormed ways to make my proposal better. Dave likes to give back. Dave makes a difference.

Dave T is a hero.

Leah R. gives continuously to people. She’s worked within the homeless sector for more years than I can count and is always willing to go the extra mile to ensure people know, no matter where they stand on the street, they are seen, heard and held in supporting arms. Leah has an amazing personal story which she shared on the DI blog just before I left the shelter. Leah is one amazing and inspiring woman!

Leah R is a hero.

My sister Jackie T. is a hero. She is the primary caretaker of our 90-year-old mother and she gives effortlessly and tirelessly. Not only to mom, but to friends in need, neighbours, her family. Jackie also has a chronic disease that leaves her tired and often living with pain. She doesn’t complain about what life has dealt her, she moves through grace, always lending a hand, helping out, giving to ensure others feel comforted.

Jackie T is a hero.

Debbie H is an emergency room nurse who continuously awes me with her caring nature. She is a role model and a leader. When faced with the challenges of an Emergency room, cut backs in health care funding and staff morale that ebbs and flows, Debbie continuously looks for ways to ‘make it better’. Her difference is felt in patients knowing they receive the best care, in co-workers seeing how easy it is to make a difference by bringing their best, a different perspective to the job, whatever it takes to serve the people in their care and by sharing love and beauty where ever she goes.

Debbie H is a hero.

Who are your heroes? Got anyone in your life needs celebrating right now? Why not tell them of your awe? Why not share your gratitude for their light on your path? We all make a difference when we celebrate the best of those around us. In our celebration, the world is ‘made different’.

Namaste.

Let’s be purposeful.

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Ellie recognizes him from afar. She begins to tug on her leash and whine in anticipation. She’s a strong girl Ellie, even though she’s getting on in years. She’s strong and pulls on the leash, pleading with me to go faster.

When we reach him, he is smiling. Laughing and just as eager as Ellie to connect.

Ellie does her dance of “Oh thank goodness. Finally, someone to pay attention to me. You know she beats me. She keeps me locked in a dark room all by myself. She never feeds me (that one’s a little harder to belief given her bulk — though all of it is hard to believe come to think of it. She’s far too friendly and welcoming to be as hard done by as the picture she likes to pain to strangers.)

Except, this man is no longer really a stranger. We’ve passed eachother on the walk for many months. Though, we’ve missed seeing him and his wife for the past two or three months. He mentions it.

“We thought you might have gone south,” he says as he rubs Ellie’s ears. “Or perhaps something had happened to the old girl.”

And I told him how I’d re-jigged my walking time now that I’m working from home. We laughed and chatted and parted ways and I was reminded again how simple it is to make a difference when we walk through the world conscious of the fact, We are All Connected.

Connecting with this man, his wife wasn’t feeling well yesterday, and spending just a few moments sharing little tidbits of our lives, lightened both our days. We parted, our smiles big and the world looked less lonely, less intimidating.

On my drive home, I passed a woman pushing a baby in her stroller. She passed a plastic bag trapped against the trunk of a tree, stopped, picked it up and stuffed it into the bottom of her stroller.

I saw a young man helping an older woman navigate the curb with her shopping cart.

And I smiled again.

What an amazing world we live in. Sure, there turbulence and strife also abound in this great big world of ours, but, there is also beauty. Imagine what kind of world it would be if today, each of us chose to do one thing that made a difference.

Smile at a stranger. Pick up garbage we spy on the sidewalk, help a stranger.

Just imagine what a ripple of change we would create.

Why not try it? Purposefully step out into your day and chose to do one small thing to make a difference. Something you don’t normally do. And, if you spy someone else making a difference, make sure you acknowledge them and the difference they made. I promise you. You’ll be making a big difference in the world today!