Two Simple Words

Morning light — photo unfiltered. untouched.
 
 I want to write of gratitude
 of how this year hasn’t been so bad
 how there’s so much good that’s come out of
 the bad
 and how I’ve learned so much and grown
 and found my way clear to living in this moment
 but the darkness outside my window
 seems to linger
 and I feel myself falling
 into its cloying embrace
 hoping it might hold me
 just a little bit longer
 all the while hoping
 it will let me go
 find my way out of the darkness.
  
 And my shoulders slump
 and my body grows tired
 of waiting for the morning light.
  
 I lean back into my chair
 close my eyes
 and try to take a deep breath
 but it’s not very deep
 this morning breath filled with
 the weary and worry of 
 these times
 that seem to grow heavier
 with every news report I read.
  
 And as I sit with eyes closed
 I hear my Auntie Maggie’s voice
 who at 90 lives alone in the city in southern India
 where she and my mother were born.
 She hasn’t been out of her house since March
 her only contact with ‘the outside world’
 her two servants who come daily
 and a neighbour who visits regularly
 and her What’sApp calls
 where she sometimes laughs and sometimes cries
 and always sings me a song from her childhood
 when she and my mother and all their siblings
 lived together in what they called
 their own private Shangri-la.
 Your mama loved to sing, she says
 And I remember and hear her sweet voice singing
 her favourite Christmas song, 
 “Il est né le divin enfant
 Jouez hautbois, résonnez musettes”
  
 And I smile and open my eyes 
 and see
 that in those few moments
 while I sat with eyes closed and spirits flagging
 the sun has broken through the darkness
 and streaked the sky with rosy hues
 that glow and pulse across the horizon
 in undulating waves
 of violet and pink and tiffany blue
 and the trees are dressed in cloaks of rose-brushed gold
 and the river flows deep in the morning glory
 of dawn breaking free of night.
  
 I want to write of gratitude
 and find myself here
 in this moment
 falling
 breathlessly
 into the beauty of light
 bursting through the cracks.
  
 I want to write of gratitude
 but words escape me
 as I breathe into the grace
 that arrives with every breath
 when I let go of what I want
 of what I miss or regret or yearn for
 and let this prayer
 of two simple words
 be all that I can say.
 Thank You. 

There is no perfect way to Love. 

 

Beaumont: Every moment is the perfect moment to rest.

 One of Leonard Cohen’s most immortal chorus’ from his song Anthem is, 

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

So often, we search for the perfect moment, the perfect setting, perfect everything before taking action in our lives.

There is no perfect anything that will create peace or joy or contentment or love.

Peace, joy, contentment, love, all matters of the heart, are not found in our search for perfection, they are found right where we stand, right where we are at, as we are.

They are found in our acceptance, our allowing, our being who we are in the moment of noticing that this moment, right now, is filled with potent possibility. This moment right now is the one that counts because this is the moment we have to take action, make a difference, make a decision to choose love over war, peace over discord, joy over sadness.

We seek perfection yet, it lives right now, in every moment, full of the delicate grace that comes when we sink into the stillness within and stop our mind’s constant striving for the more perfect moment, person, job, situation, idea. The more prefect time to be happy, content, joyful, loving, peaceful…

When we shine our light on what is and see what is present in its many facets, we find ourselves filling up on the beauty, wonder and awe of everything.

When we breathe deeply into the cracks in our heart, the broken places and the worn down edges of our dreams, the light shines through, showing us, all is not lost. It is all still present in all its perfect imperfections, cracks and all.

There is no perfect moment to love, or dance, or laugh or spin about in joy. There is only now. Perfectly illuminated by the light shining through the cracks we couldn’t see when our eyes were closed in the darkness of beliving, now was not the right time to let go of the things that hurt, the things we cannot change.

As Cohen wrote, “there is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

In every crack there is the possibility of light shining through, as long as we open our eyes and choose to let the light in through Love.