Category Archives: Essential Journey

How to fill your heart with peace and joy.

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Being happy and being at peace are not the same thing.

I can be happy to be out of a painful situation, but if I keep retelling the story of my pain, I will not find peace and joy in this moment I’m in.

It is important to face the emotions, to confront the things that disturb our peace of mind so that we can step through the disquiet and move beyond the things that distress us.

I caught myself in that space of disquiet recently. I was struggling to make sense of something that was going on and found myself in my own self-defeating game, one of my favourites — “I can’t do anything right. There’s no point in even trying. I may as well quit right now.”

It is not pretty when I find myself playing ‘the victim’.

It is insightful though because, in its light, I can see where I have veered off my path of walking with integrity, truth, passion and commitment to being my true self because I’ve allowed someone else’s actions or words become my reality. It illuminates those spaces within where my critter is having a little bit of a hissy fit stirring up angst and turmoil, just because he can, and mostly because I’m listening.

We all have those moments of self-doubt when we act out of our less than thinking and into our fears.

Strength comes when we stop blaming ‘the other’ for our angst and  lovingly face the truth about the games we’re playing with ourselves and say, “Well that was fascinating.” And then choose to stop the game and let go of the limiting thoughts that are keeping us mired in self-pity, woe is me and I’m no good thinking.

What can I do differently in this moment right now?” is a powerful question to ask in those moments. And if the answer is ‘nothing’, turn and face yourself and ask, “Really?” (it helps if you put one hand on your hip, tilt your head sideways and give yourself that ‘I don’t believe you’ kind of look you save just for your teenage son or daughter) and then smile  lovingly at yourself and decide to not buy into your own limiting beliefs about your capacity to shift, create possibility, change your thoughts. The truth is, those are just thoughts rolling around in your head. And thoughts can be changed.

There are a 1,001 reasons why we play self-defeating games — and none of them justify letting go of our right to live with peace and joy in our hearts, free to be the most amazing, magnificent human beings we were born to be.

Decide today to live free of the past, and feel your heart fill up with peace and joy.

The Naked Truth of Letting Go

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Journal entry Mixed Media | Naked truth of letting go | ©2016 Louise Gallagher

Journal entry
Mixed Media |
Naked truth of letting go |
©2016 Louise Gallagher

 

 

Thanks to Val Boyko at Find Your Middle Ground for this morning’s inspiration in her post, The Gift of Letting Go.

How deep are you willing to examine your life?

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The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates

I think I was about 13 years old when I first read the above quote.

It stuck with me and sent me on an exploration of myself of which I have never tired. I want to understand what motivates me to do the things I do, be the way I am so that I can live passionately and fearlessly in the now without the past driving me away from living aligned with my true self.

I remember a time in my 20s when I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. My family definitely thought so and I remember thinking, well if they don’t like me then I must be the one who is out of sync. I must need to do a lot more work.

Decades later, I realize that it isn’t that there was something ‘wrong’ with me. Yes, I had issues. I was also willing to work on them because for me, my quest to ‘know me’ and to do better than what my limiting beliefs were telling me was all I was capable of doing or being in the world was really important. It also, at times, caused others to fear they too would have to get to know themselves and let go of their limiting beliefs. And that can be scary.

Several years ago, while teaching a course at the shelter where I used to work, on letting go of limiting beliefs to live bravely, one of the students commented that he didn’t understand why his friends kept trying to get him to drink. “I’ve been sober for 3 months,” he told the class. “I want to be someone my son’s can be proud of and still, my friends keep trying to pull me back, to get me to go party with them, even when I tell them I don’t want to. Why is that?”

I asked him if when he was drinking he thought it was possible, and he said no. He’d believed it was impossible. And then, after a particularly challenging binge of drugs and drinking, he found himself in Detox and ended up in Rehab.

It was an accident it happened, he said.

Accident or not, you chose sobriety and proved it is possible, I replied.

We talked about his desire to be a role model for his people, his family and the son’s he’d left on a Reserve years ago when alcohol drove him away. We talked about what it meant for him to be proud of himself, and to know that not drinking was the first step back towards the life he longed for. And how for those who saw him changing, the fear of losing an excuse to not change themselves, rose up.

In his sobriety, those around him saw that change was possible. To accept that meant they could no longer say, “It can’t happen for me. I’m a lost cause.” He had proven it could happen.

And that is scary when we are not the one’s making the change.

It is scary to dive into the pool of unknown within us.

And still, we all have the invitation, and the possibility, to dive deep and learn about our own selves so that we can grow into our best lives yet.

Thank you Socrates for inspiring me years ago to keep examining my life, and my role in it and my power to be the light I want to shine on the world to create peace, love and harmony.

I am blessed on this journey.

What do you fear?

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In ego’s dance I am continuously reminded to let go of the past. Ego learned its steps when I was but a child, dependent upon the adults in my world to keep me safe and out of harm’s way.

Those early steps worked well for me then, they do not always work well for me now.

Which means, the me I am consciously being now, must lovingly teach ego new ways of being present in the world, calling upon its innate desire to lead me constantly towards happiness and safety, in new and novel ways the ‘me’ I have grown into knows are possible.

It is a constant dance of drawing out of fear into courage to be, to act, to live passionate and free in the now.

One way to draw ego out of the past is to ask yourself, “What do I fear?”

Beyond spiders and tigers running wild, or earthquakes and meteors falling from the sky, “What do I fear?”

This is a question that needs time, and reflection and meditation to truly find the essence of its truth. It needs your full attention in the quiet of your own space.

Sit quietly and ask yourself:

What do I fear?

 

There are countless answers you can feel rising to the surface when you sit quietly and meditate on the question.

Let them rise. Let them become present without judging them. Let them be what they are.

Write down your responses.

I fear…. being alone.

I fear… my heart getting broken.

I fear… losing someone I love.

I fear…

Now, ask yourself:

What do I do to protect myself from feeling my fear?

Write down your responses:

Because I  fear…. being alone…. I connect too fast to people.

Because I fear…. being alone… I trust the untrustworthy.

Because I fear… being alone… I don’t listen to my intuition…

Keep going, responding to each of the things in your list, until you feel you have no more observations on what you do to protect yourself from feeling your fear.

Now, ask yourself:

What does my fear cost me?

Again, sit quietly, listen deeply to your heart, to your subconscious rising into awareness.

My fear of…. being alone costs me…. healthy relationships

.My fear of…. being alone costs me… trusting myself

.My fear of…. being alone costs me… because I constantly second guess myself.

Once you’ve identified all the costs for each of your fears, ask yourself:

What is the truth about my fear?

The truth about  my fear of…. being alone… is that I am ….. and then write what comes into your mind right off.  Keep writing until you have a clear vision of the truth about your fear.

For example:

The truth about  my fear of…. being alone… is that I …. don’t know how to be with people in healthy ways because I’ve always let my fear of being alone push me into relationships fast and furious.

The truth about  my fear of…. being alone… is that I  …. have the power to choose wisely for myself. Sure, I may make mistakes but rather than second guessing myself, I can trust myself enough to know, if I make a mistake, I have the courage and wisdom to change my mind, walk away, slow down…

When you’ve completed your list of ‘truths’, write one thing you can do today to live the truth you’ve just written down.

For example:

One thing I can do today to live the truth about being alone is…. tell Jack I don’t want to go on a date tonight. I had already told my friend, Sally, that I’d get together with her, and cancelling to go on a date with Jack is not about my courage, it’s about my fear.

And now, ask yourself:

What can I tell myself everyday, and many times throughout the day, that will lead me from the shadows of my fear into the light of my courage?

Write it down.

For example:

I am deserving of healthy relationships.

I take good care of my heart by trusting its wisdom.

I value myself enough to treat myself with loving kindness.

There are many ways to lovingly embrace your ego’s propensity to have you live life through the lens of your child. Children are not equipped to name, nor face, their fears. As adults, we are.

Namaste.

 

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Special thanks to Leigh at Not Just Sassy On the Inside for the inspiration for this morning’s post, A Kinder View of Ego.

Make room for possibility | 52 Acts of Grace | Week 24

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acts of grace week 24 copy

I was part of a Garage Sale this weekend. Myself and 3 other women joined forces to create an opportunity for others to find value in the things we no longer needed or wanted.

Day 1 was fun (long and tiring and I did completely forget about a dinner engagement C.C. and I had that evening which was not a good thing!) We got rained on for a bit but by afternoon, the sun broke through the clouds and we promised those who dropped by to visit that we had lots of free things to give away, especially laughter.

Day 2 was cold, cloudy and while it was great to chat and laugh with my lady friends, standing there waiting and hoping for people to drop by was not as much enjoyable as the day before — NOTE TO SELF:  when doing a garage sale, do it one day only.

One of my co-conspirators and I had some of our art for sale. As I told one person who commented they liked the inclusion of art in our event, “I had no choice. My studio walls are full as are pretty well all the walls in our house.”

Sometimes, the lack of space is a good inspiration for clearing out. And, as I only decided to be in the sale on Wednesday, I didn’t have a lot of time to think about what I would, or would not be willing to let go of. I just had to decide and do it.

And in that decision, opportunity for creating space for possibility appeared.

As I walked around the house, pulling out things that were tucked away in closets or taking things off shelves that only served as dust magnets, I felt the rush of letting go wash over me. I am decluttering, clearing out things, I told myself, because I want to simplify my life, create order and calm by having less and doing more with what I have. It feels good.

What also felt good was at the end of the sale yesterday afternoon,loading up my car with all the things I hadn’t sold and taking them down to a local shelter. Dishes, candles, towels, kitchen gadgets, books and knick-knacks, all went to the Calgary Drop-In & Rehab Centre. Along with providing emergency services and shelter for people experiencing homelessness, they operate a furniture and household distribution centre for those exiting homelessness. When an individual or family have housing, they can go to the warehouse, pick out everything they need for their new home… for free.

It’s a win/win.

I didn’t have to bring the unsold items home.

Someone else won’t have to pay to furnish their home.

I like the balance in that equation.

 

 

 

Fall, crawl or fly free. The choice is yours.

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fly free with the wind copy

 

It can be daunting to fly above the fray. To keep your sights set on the limitless possibilities of the sky above. Especially if the weight of the world feels like it is dragging you into the mud.

Regardless of what is happening in the world around us, we have the choice in how we respond. We can decide to get mired in the grit and grime of fighting for every step on the path, or, we can choose to focus on the possibilities of the sky above and keep soaring higher and higher.

When I was healing from a relationship that almost cost me my life, and everyone and everything I loved and held dear, I was very, very broken. Every day, I would take my trusty Ellie, the Wonder Pooch, for a walk in the woods up the street from where I was living. I would walk along the path, deep into the woods and the worry and woes would invade. I was broke and broken, I felt lost and afraid and I was terrified I would never heal, never be able to reclaim my life and repair the damage and hurt I’d caused in my daughters’ lives.

I wanted to stay stuck, to not take responsibility for my life, to not move forward. I was so scared.

And still, I knew I had to make a choice. I had to decide to live or be the walking, breathing dead.

I had to decide if I was going to let the worries and woe weigh me down, or allow myself the grace of healing in Love with every step I took.

And so, I chose to look up into the sky high above the treetops. I chose to listen to the wind rustling in the leaves, the patter of Ellie’s paws as she raced amongst the deadfall along the path. I chose to hear the birds, and to see the blue sky and light high above.

Looking up and believing in the infinite possibilities of the sky above didn’t change the challenges I faced.

It did change how I felt, how I stepped, how I saw my situation.

I could see myself as locked in on a path of darkness, surrounded by deadfall, fearing ‘what comes next’.

OR

I could see myself surrounded by limitless possibilities spanning the horizon, fearlessly opening me up to the anticipation and mystery of “what comes next”.

I held the key to the choices I made.

To fall, crawl or fly free.

 

 

You are born to shine. Dare.

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what if copy

 

We are each of us born with unlimited potential to shine bright. We are each born into the of possibility of our life enriching the world just because we are alive. And, we are each of us made of stardust born to be a light for all the world to see in the dark.

 

Yet we sit, and wait, and lurk behind limiting beliefs, hoping someone might see us cowering over there, in the corner, waiting for someone to turn on the lights.

No one can turn on your light.

You have the power. You have the heart. You have the soul to create a light so bright in your life, there is no darkness deep enough to drown it out.

And all you have to do to start shining is believe. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. Believe in your right to live out loud.

Sure it can be scary. It can be downright terrifying to step out from behind the curtain of your uncertainties to claim your place at centre stage of your own life. But risking is better than living inside a numbed out, nullifying shell of a life that’s been left on the shelf, gathering dust behind the cracker jack box that’s already out of date.

Risking it is better than living with the weight of believing you do not deserve to shine.

Risking it is more life-giving than staying stuck in the dark.

You will never find the edges of the darkness around you if you do not step through it.

What if to find your light you just need to start stepping through the dark?

What if your light is that tiny spark of hope that flickered, for just a moment, when you held onto the possibility of light at the edge of the dark?

What if?