What if… your truth matters?

Walking on the edge of infinity she saw her life unravel like a river flowing endlessly into the sea.

Walking on the edge
of infinity
she saw her life
unravel
like a river
flowing endlessly
into the sea.

Mixed media on water colour paper
©2016 Louise Gallagher

A friend is telling me of a conversation they are afraid to initiate with a loved one. They are in pain. Feeling sad. Broken. Confused.

What is the worst that could happen if you have the conversation? I ask.

And they tell me of their fear that their loved one will get angry. Storm out. Deny. Refuse. Reject.

What is the worst that could happen if you don’t have the conversation? I ask next.

And their shoulders slump, their eyes close momentarily and they breathe a deep, sadness-tinged sigh and whisper, “Nothing will change.”

So often, we see a situation through the eyes of our fear of what the other will do, how they will respond or react when we speak up, challenge the status quo or ask for what we want. In our fixation on their behaviour, we forget to look at how  our feelings are the result of our silence, not someone else’s behaviour. How our silence is the thing that is trapping us in the place of inaction and inertia, keeping us stuck in believing ‘there is no point’, no hope, no possibility of different. In our silence, we put power and control in the hands of another, and blame them for making us feel… less than, bad, helpless…

When I let go of blaming another for my feelings, I give myself the grace to turn up for me. I allow my courage to draw me out of confusion and drive fear away.

When I turn up, pay attention, lovingly speak my truth and stay unattached to the outcome, I am powerful beyond my wildest imaginings. In that place of surrendering my fear and turning up in courage, anything is possible. Hearts can break down walls, close gaps in understanding and break-through to clarity, connectedness and commitment. In that place, I am free to be me without fearing my truth is not allowed, my needs not acceptable, my dreams not worthy.

What if, I asked my friend, you chose to break your silence to invite the other to step into a sacred circle of love where truth-telling does not wound and is so powerful it draws you ever closer together?

What if, you accepted your truth matters? It is as important, relevant, necessary as another’s?

What if, you believed you have the right to speak up? Ask for what you want? Be present?

What if, you believed you are worthy? What would you do differently?

What if, we all believed we are worthy of speaking our truth and living this one precious life as if every life matters, every voice counts, every truth makes a difference and has the capacity to make the world a better place?

What would we do differently?

 

Be Unstoppable: Walk proud. Live strong.

dare to take the high road copy

There is something deliciously satisfying about the thought of getting even with someone who has caused you pain. Yet, no matter how pleasing the thought, the act of getting even is fleeting, illusory, unfulfilling.

The only thing that getting even does is lower you to someone else’s level. It does not bring you lasting peace. And it definitely does not change whatever happened to cause you grief.

When the man who was actively engaged in making the ‘death’ part of his promise to love me forever was arrested, I desperately wanted to make him pay for all the pain and horror he had caused in my life and the lives of those I love. I wanted him to feel my pain. To know the totality of all that he had done.

Wasn’t going to happen.

There was nothing in this world that I could do that would cause him anguish without also causing me pain. To get even with him I would have to have contact with him. And that was not healing, safe nor smart for me. Nor would it have accomplished my goal. He did what he did because that was a reflection of who he is, where he lived, how he walked through this world. I’d been there long enough with him. I had no desire to go back.

Admittedly, there were moments where my thoughts drifted into gleeful persecution of him. Occasionally, to relieve the pressure in my mind and heart, I would stand in the shower and imagine dipping him in a vat of hot tar, dousing him in feathers and then rolling him up in one of the priceless rugs he so loved and running over him with one of those big road paving roller machines until he was as flat as Wiley Coyote of cartoon fame. And that would be the end of that. I would let the warm waters of the shower wash over me and wash all thoughts of him down the drain.

Cleansed of my need for revenge, I would return to finding my path out of the darkness into the light of living peacefully with all my heart in the now.

Living peacefully with all my heart in the now was my truth. My life. My way.

Thoughts of getting even with him only kept me stuck in his truth, his life, his way.

I deserved better.

I needed more.

We all have moments of wanting to slip off our road of integrity into the muck of someone else’s bad behaviour. Don’t do it. Don’t give into the pull of getting even. It will only leave you wearing the dirt of the past and feeling the anguish of someone else’s choices ‘back then’ in the here and now.

If the lure of getting even grows too strong and you feel yourself succumbing to its call, take a shower. Just for a moment, let your mind wander as far as it must into the imaginary world where your getting even sets things right. And then, lovingly bring it back into the present. Be unstoppable in your desire to walk tall and proud. Be unstoppable in living this one wild and precious life with all your heart beating strong on the high road of your integrity.  Walk proud. Live strong.

*************

This post is in response to today’s one word – Daily Prompt. Unstoppable.

A mother duck, five ducklings and the driver who stopped.

It is a beautiful sunny evening. I am driving along a busy freeway, cars to my right, guardrail on the left. I am keeping pace with the white car about 3 to 4 car-lengths ahead of me when I notice he seems to be slowing down. I ease up on the gas. Suddenly, their brakelights flare and he stops, dead, in the lane. I pump my brakes praying the driver in the pickup truck behind me is paying attention. The car that has stopped slowly begins to ease into the emergency vehicle turnoff to pull a U-turn. I have slowed down enough to be able to squeeze around his read-end and keep moving along without rear-ending him.

Accident averted. Traffic keeps flowing.

I breathe. Think not so nice thoughts about the driver who decided to pull a U-turn on a freeway and remember to breathe again. Can’t change what he did. I can change the not nice thoughts I’m having about him. Bless him. Forgive me.

I am alive. No accident. All is good.

But the incident sticks with me.

How did I know he was slowing down even before his brakelights appeared? How is it I was able to anticipate his next move?

And I remember back to the weekend. As I drove home from a romp at the park with Beaumont, the car in front of me stopped in the middle of the road for seemingly no reason. I stopped. Waited.

Waited.

Saw nothing.

I wonder why we are stopped in the middle of the road. There must be a reason I tell myself.

And then the reason appeared.

A mother duck and her five tiny ducklings waddled out from in front of the car in front of me making their way to the other side of the road. They were so cute! So adorable. Pushing and shoving and leap-frogging over each other. I laughed and smiled and silently thanked the driver in front of me for the opportunity to experience such a delightful scene.

It was only a few days later the driver pulled the U-turn on Glenmore Trail. My mind still held the imprint of the ducklings waddling across the road. Curiosity was still awakened when the driver began to slow down. Intuitively, I noticed the emergency vehicle turn-off to the driver’s left. Intuitively, I was prepared for the driver to do something that from my position in my car, did not make sense, but to him, lost, listening to Siri give him directions, going the wrong way on a freeway (or whatever was going on), it made perfect sense. Life and death consequences were far from his thinking. Getting to where he wanted to go was the focus of his attention.

Like life.

So often, we encounter someone so fixed on what they are doing, where they are going and their need to get there that they are unconscious of the impact of their actions.

So often, we do not have time, nor the power, to awaken another to the potential impact of their actions. All we can do is respond. How we respond is our choice.

I cannot see and often do not know what motivates others to do the things they do. All I can do is be aware, prepared, conscious. All I can do is respond in ways that do not conflict with my desire to live my life with peace of mind and a loving heart.

Had I not been paying attention, had I stayed in disbelief that he was pulling a U-turn on a busy freeway, the outcome would have been much different.

Believing he was doing what he was doing, gave me the space to respond in a way that created value in my life, their life and the lives of the drivers behind me.

I am grateful to that mother duck and her ducklings and the driver who stopped. They reminded me to pay attention. To be conscious of the world around me, and to trust my intuition.

And they reminded me of the miracles all around.

It was a miracle I did not hit that car. I am grateful.

 

 

Where is truth?

When I read this Zen Flash this morning, it made me smile. Out loud.

So simple.

All the truth I need to live my life today is here, right now.

Whatever is here, right now, is the truth. And if I don’t like it, what are my options? What do I plan on doing about it? Because as my father was fond of saying when I was a child, “If the shoe fits, wear it.”

Truth is, in this moment right now, I am right here, feeling, doing, being, however, whatever I am.

Truth is, right here, right now, is all the truth I have to work with. How I respond to, what I do with what is here right now is what makes the difference in how I live my truth, how I turn up in my truth, how I am accountable with my truth. And, how my truth becomes me.

I can avoid, pretend, ignore.

Or, I can accept, allow, create.

My choice.

My truth.

My life.

 

Grow your world more wild, beautiful and free

grow wild and free copy

When my daughters were little they had many favourite books. One of them was, Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney. Because they couldn’t pronounce Rumphius easily, we called it, The Lupine Lady.

Read us about the lupine lady, they would plead at bed time, and the three of us would snuggle together and I would read and they would ooh and aaah over the beautiful pictures, taking turns to carefully turn each page.

It is a delightful story of a woman named Alice who as a young girl, upon hearing the stories of her uncle’s travels, promised him she too would one day travel the world and then come home to live by the sea. Just like him.

“That’s all very well,” her uncle said when she told him of her plans, “but there is a third thing you must do. You must do something to make the world more beautiful.”

Little Alice grew up to work in a library and still the yearning to travel remained. She packed her bags and travelled the world, made friends that remained in her heart for ever, and when an injury laid her up, she returned to live by the sea.

Her promise to her uncle stayed with her. There was one thing she still needed to do.

She needed to make the world more beautiful.

One spring, after a long winter nursing her injured back, she felt well enough to go for a walk. In a field beyond her home she came upon a patch of lupines the wind and birds had planted with seeds from her garden.

Alice decided that, to make the world more beautiful, she would cast lupine seeds where ever she walked on the island. And the world grew more beautiful.

What seeds are you planting today that will grow your world more wild, beautiful and free?

***************

There are several versions of Miss Rumphius on Youtube. Here is one to spark your imagination and inspire your actions.

What dreams do you claim?

Dream in colour copy

 

I have known the fear of dreaming. Danced a deadly two-step with fear shadowing the exquisite beauty of the things that shimmer at the edges of my imagination calling my heart to run wild and free.

I am learning to dance fearlessly to the beat of my heart’s calling. Learning to give into the sway of my dreams’ enchanting voice calling me to run breathlessly, arms wide open, into freedom.

It is a divine dance. A soul-filled tango of love and adventure and courage rising up to carry me beyond my fear into that place where I am vividly alive, breathing deeply of the pure sweet air of life unfolding beyond the limits of my imagination.

In this dance, I am the hero, the architect, the director of every leap taken, every note sung, every word written, every brushstroke cast upon the canvas of my life. I am the dancer, the singer, the poet, the artist creating a tapestry of life that mirrors the wild, chaotic beauty of my dreams.

In this dance, beauty explodes like a flower opening to the warmth of the sun beaming down after the rain has fallen. I dig into my roots and unearth the glorious richness of the seeds I have planted with my creations.

In this dance my dreams come true, limits vanish, fear disappears beneath the sheer joy of breathing freely in the wonder and awe of every moment bursting open in living colour.

In this dance, my life is a song of joy, a dance of ecstasy, a poem of Love, a tapestry of my creative expressions.

In this dance, I am wild and free, living my dreams with abandon.

I claim this dream, this dance of joy, as mine.

What dreams do you claim?

 

 

The Gifts of Today

The Gifts of Today copy

I experienced so many gifts over the weekend.

A Stampede BBQ at the centre where my mother lives. We laughed and listened to the music and I showed my mother photos from my eldest daughter’s visit including her stagette– there is a video of my two daughters and I singing karaoke that almost made her howl with laughter.

It is a gift to hear my mother laugh.

An evening with delightful friends, old and new, to celebrate the pending arrival of a new human being on earth.

It is a gift to be part of the circle of life ever expanding.

The wedding of a beautiful young couple expressing their forever love.

It is a gift to witness the promise and possibilities of love binding two hearts together; growing stronger.

Time with my beloved walking in the park with Beaumont.

It is a gift to walk hand in hand with C.C., chatting and laughing as Beaumont chases the ball and plays with other dogs.

Time with my youngest daughter and CJ.

It is a gift to be immersed in the friendship and closeness of these two young women who have known each other since birth.

Time with myself, alone in the studio.

It is a gift to have the space and time to reflect and create in my home.

So many treasured moments to simply be present in the grace of life unfolding. Sitting on the deck sipping coffee in the morning. Putting the umbrella up to ward off rain, or protect from sunshine, dependent upon the whimsical nature of the weather. Preparing a meal together. Sharing a meal together. Heart talks. Soul connections. Sharing thoughts and observations. Wishes and dreams. Hopes and aspirations.

This is life in all its gentle flow, forever expanding/contracting. Breathing in. Breathing out. Ebb. Flow.

This is life.

Love is the way.

Believe in yourself.

Art Journal Entry Geometrics

Art Journal Entry
Geometrics

Anything is possible when you believe in yourself.

Once, while teaching a self-esteem workshop at a homeless shelter, I told a man who had told me he was a ‘bad man’ that I experienced him as magnificent.

He laughed and told me I needed new glasses.

I asked him to close his eyes and for one minute imagine he was magnificent. To breathe it in. To sit tall. To be magnificent.

When he opened his eyes I asked him if he could feel it. If in that moment his magnificence was real.

He nodded his head and quietly replied, “Yes.”

Then your magnificence lives within you, I told him. You could not have felt its presence if it was not there.

This man had had a hard life. Forced into being a child soldier in his land of birth, he was convinced that he could only ‘be bad’.

Do you want to continue to do bad things in the world? I asked.

No, was his adamant reply.

Then don’t feed your capacity to ‘do bad’ by believing it is who you are. Believe in your capacity to be that man who could sit in his own magnificence and feel its presence and sense its reality. Make that man your truth.

Truth is, we are all magnificent.

We all have the capacity to fly. To soar. To make our dreams come true.

The only limitation is our fear of breathing life into our dreams.

Stop breathing into the fear you are not enough, or that your dreams cannot come true.

Instead, open your mind to the vastness of your imagination and let it expand your heart’s belief in your own capacity to fly free and soar high.

 

Give your heart room to grow wild.

Art Journal Entry July 7, 2016 Mixed Media

Art Journal Entry
July 7, 2016
Mixed Media

Hearts do not grow strong locked within a box. They cannot fly free trapped within a cage.

Set your heart free to dance to its own wild tattoo. Let its earthy beat stir the depths of your desire to love deeply, live freely, give fearlessly.

Be wild at heart. Dig deep into the soul of your majestic essence.

Unlock the door. Throw the windows wide open and let your heart run wild in the wonder of your creative expression.

Give yourself time every day to give birth to what calls your heart to beat freely.

Unleash your creative spirit. Unhinge your creative expression. Dance. Paint. Laugh. Leap. Play. Sing. Howl. Stomp. Dive deep.

Let your heart grow wild in the joyful expression of your life lived boldly beyond the limits of your imagination.

 

Do you choose to wake-up or stay asleep?

unnamedSource: Zen Flash 

I love to walk barefoot in the mud. To feel earth’s wet, oozy goodness squishing between my toes, sliding across my skin.

I love to dance in the rain. To stand high on the top of a hill feeling the sky washing down against my skin, my hair flattening against my skull, my face soaking in the nourishing waters pouring down.

I love to swim naked in the sea. To slide effortlessly through crystal clear water flowing against my skin. To feel the waters of the universe caressing my body, holding me up, holding me in its embrace.

All of these things I love to do because they remind me how alive I am. How of the universe I am. How limitless my possibilities are in a world of wonder and awe.

All of these things I love to do are part of my path. Just as all the travails and triumphs I have experienced, the hardships and the missteps, the joyful leaps and the stumbling tumbles, they are part of my path that have carried me here, to today, where I have a choice.

Do I stay asleep or do I awaken?

Without all of these things, I would not be me where I am today.

Just as all the things you have experienced, endured, witnessed, fallen in love with, stepped away from, eased slowly into or leapt blindly into,  stumbled haltingly through or rushed fearlessly within, all of these thing are part of your path that make up the journey of being you.

They are not who you are. They are your how. The how of how you got here, to this moment where you can choose to fall back to sleep, or awaken.

We humans spend so much time focused on the how. So much effort trying to get through, over, into, out of circumstances, situations, opportunities, we forget it is not the ‘how’ that creates our journey, it is the what we do with what appears on our journey that creates the one we are today.

Immersed in the how of whether or not we step, leap, dance, cavort, we forget we have the power to awaken completely to our divine essence. To our brilliant light, our amazing grace.

And so, we focus on the how, thinking it will make a difference to what happens in our life.

It will not make a difference if we choose to stay asleep to our magnificence.

When I was an infant I crawled. I am an adult now. I can still crawl, but I can also dance, leap, jump, skip, walk…

No matter how I move through the world, how old I am, how rich, poor, slim, fat, tall, short. It doesn’t matter the colour of my skin, the depth of my roots in tribal soils or the wearing of my knees from prostration before the God or gods of my knowing,  it is what I choose to do that makes my difference one of awakened bliss or stumbling in the dark guilt for being alive.

Do I choose to wake up or do I choose to stay asleep?

As Alan Watts asks at the end of this short video on waking up, “You put yourself in this situation. So it’s a question fundamental. Do you define yourself as a victim of the world, or as the world?”