This morning, a friend sent me a tweet about the impact of random acts of kindness at work. It makes sense. Sharing acts of kindness makes the giver and the receiver happier. They’re contagious and they make for more fulfilling and happier workplaces.

Another tweet I saw on the same person’s feed posed an interesting question about our choices:

I love how he presents the things we did not choose, and the things we can.

Me, I want to always choose in favour of being kind, generous, honest…

Yet, sometimes, my choices are not aligned with my ‘higher good’.

Like when a driver cuts me off and I think something not so nice about him or her. I’d prefer to simply let them in with a gracious wave and a smile.

Or when someone slips into the lane beside me that I know, and I know they know, is merging because there are big, big flashing lights up ahead telling us so. I don’t really want to let them in when I reach the front of the lane at the same time they do. I often wrestle with my ‘higher good’ and my baser instincts. It can be a struggle for me to make room for grace.

Fact is, grace doesn’t always win.

Today, I choose to let grace win.

With grace as my guide, my baser instincts will have no room to take hold and pull me into defiance. There will be no room for me to choose to act down to my need to ‘have one over’ on my fellow human beings!

Today, I choose to allow grace to have her way with me.

Photo by Jasmine Waheed on Unsplash

The last time the 3 sisters went on a trip together was 1983.

A week in San Francisco.

Sure, we’ve been together since then. Births and weddings. Funerals and family gatherings.

But just the 3 of us? Together? For the fun of it?

Well, it’s been a long time.

Though perhaps I should be more explicit.  The last time my two sisters and I shared a hotel room together was 1983 in San Francisco.

It was an experience.

I’m a wake up wide-eyed in a second flat, out the door (in those days I ran), let’s get the day started, early morning riser.

My eldest sister is a get up early and quietly, get organized in an organized kind of way and let’s plan the day, kind of morning person.

And then… there’s our middle sister.  She likes to wake up leisurely, savour the morning. Sipping coffee. Reading. Chatting. Puttering about. Taking her time to figure out what to wear, what to do, what to bring with her for the day, kind of middle of the morning not-an-early riser person.

It should be fun. Because, no matter how we start our day, we get to spend it bathed in sisterly love! How lovely.

This weekend, we’re off to Vancouver to celebrate the pending birth of my daughter and son-in-love’s baby boy. He’s arriving early. A complication in her pregnancy means he’ll be here the middle of this month, not his expected March 10.

And I’m so excited!

But first, the 3 sisters will be dabbling in a little sisterly love at my favourite hotel on English Bay.

Both my daughters will be in YVR as well meaning… The Gallagher Girls will be all together.

What fun!

Have a great weekend everyone.

No one wakes up in the morning and declares, “Today I shall be the reason someone cries.”  At least I hope not.

I believe we wake up with an evolutionary impulse, even if we are not aware of it, that continuously declares our human intention to create better.

What if we decided we don’t have to change the world, we just have to be our own kind of change in the world.

That making a difference isn’t about finding the cure to some disease or a new star (both of which would be lovely) but rather, difference-making comes when we choose to shine our light and be brave, bold, daring in our presence in this world.

What if we realized difference-making is created when we choose to be conscious of our impact on everyone and everything around us.

And what if, we decided to begin right where we are? That today, rather than think about all the things that are not going well in our life, or all the things we need other’s to change to make our lives better, we chose instead to focus on ‘What can I do in this moment right now that will make a difference to those around me?’

What if we decided to be the reason someone smiles?

Or laughs, or feels good about themselves or sees the miracle they are because we’ve acknowledged their magnificence by letting our magnificence shine through our smile?

What if we got conscious and accepted our presence makes a difference and when we shine our light (Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!), the world is a brighter place?

Truth is, we have all avoided or tried to ignore truth in certain situations.

We have all found ourselves in places where facing the truth is the last thing we want to do.

It can be a big thing, like realizing it’s time to leave a relationship and wanting to pretend it’s not.

It can be smaller things. Like knowing you’ve got a cavity and need to get it fixed but letting it go, on and on. Or, avoiding telling a friend you can’t make their birthday party because you had a prior commitment, but don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings by telling the truth.

Avoidance strengthens fear.

When we avoid truth-speaking, it strengthens our fear of truth.

There is nothing to fear in truth-telling, but when we avoid it, there is a momentary relief that happens when the brain realizes it ‘dodged that bullet’ for a moment.

Then reality hits. The truth is still unspoken. You think about facing it but the critter inside says, “Remember how good it felt to not tell truth? You can have that feeling again by avoiding it now.”

And somewhere inside you a voice responds, “Oh yeah. That’s right. It felt okay to not deal with that now. I’ll put it off some more. Maybe I’ll never have to face it.”

And the relationship, or your toothache, or the leak under the sink, gets worse and your feelings of wanting to avoid the truth strengthen. Not because the truth is fearful, but rather, because your brain has decided avoiding truth feels better than speaking truth.

To avoid falling into the trap of convincing yourself not speaking truth is better than facing reality, be like Nike. Just do it.

No matter your fear. No matter the voice inside urging you to retreat. Just do it.

Speak truth.

As the saying goes, “Turn up. Pay attention. Speak your truth. Stay unattached to the outcome.”

To avoid fear or feeling badly about yourself, or negative self-talk that whispers about your inadequacies and short-comings, clean up your life by getting clean on the truth with yourself.

That doesn’t mean it’s a free ride to say what you want. Remember, in all things be kind.

Truth in its purest form does not hurt. It sets us free. To be kind. To be thoughtful. To be caring and above all, Loving.

For me, the truth in this moment is, I’ve been fighting a cold all week. I have struggled with being present because I’m tired and feeling less than par. I’ve wanted to avoid turning up because I’d rather be in bed!

Truth is, when I turn up how I am, where I am, I bring the best of me, however I am in that moment, to the page.

In my turning up, I remind myself that no matter my fear of ‘writing bad’, or not making sense, or not being as impactful as I tell myself I need to be, being here isn’t about ‘the outcome’. My turning up here is something I do for myself every day to set myself free to live my day in the light of knowing, I am giving my best, in this moment right now and, my best is good enough.

And that’s the truth!

Namaste.