Category Archives: Uncategorized

It’s all in the name of Love

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A day of miracles. Hearts breaking open — and the reminder, a broken heart is an open heart and an open heart is a loving heart. Seeing eyes light up with anticipation after years of watching the world through fear and dread.

Whenever I sit in on the Thursday night processes at Choices I am always awed by the capacity of the human spirit to rise up above the pain and trauma, the sorrow and the grief of our journey through life.

There are moments when I wonder, why do we keep doing this to ourselves and each other? Why do we hurt each other? Abuse each other? Ridicule, mock, and even destroy each other?

And I keep coming back to one conclusion — it is all in the name of Love.

Love is perfect, it’s just our expression of it that gets perverted, distorted, mishappen as we move through our lives. Sometimes, we lose our way, or have never been shown how, or in the showing we received of what ‘to Love ourselves or another’ means, we were given faulty messages because those entrusted with our care, our nurturing, our ‘love teaching’ didn’t know any better. They too received ‘faulty messages’ of Love.

We are always teaching other what it means to love — ourselves and others.

We are meant to be brilliant sparks of light and love. To shine as brightly as possible so that others can find their way home to their hearts.

And sometimes, our sparkle is dulled by life’s happenings.Yet always, it is there. Waiting. Holding on. Holding out hope. Always, our light, even if it’s just a tiny ember, waits to be rekindled so that we can shine bright.

And always, Love is present. Waiting in our hearts. Calling out to us to awaken, to open our eyes, and our hearts to the magnificence of our being in this world.

We all want to make a difference — it is a universal truth. We all want to feel like our lives have meaning.

Standing in the Choices room where I am coaching this week, I am blessed with watching people awaken to the beauty and the wonder of their hearts breaking open in Love.

And what a difference their open hearts make in the room. What a difference their open hearts make in the world.

It was another full day at Choices, and I am blessed. I am part of the gifts that Thelma Box, the founder of Choices began 29 years ago when she started the seminar with the belief and the desire and the dream of “Changing the world one heart at a time.”

Thank you Thelma for your dream. thank you for keeping the light shining.

You are making a difference..

Coaching @Choices

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I am coaching at Choices this week. It is one of my favourite things to do, but, it also means long days, fast sleeps. We begin as coaches at 8am and wrap up between 10 and 10:30 at night. Which means, sleep time is precious, blogging time limited.

At Choices, miracles happen throughout the room, throughout the day, throughout the five days of seminars. It is such a gift to see people walk into the room Wednesday, their defenses in place, their judgments thriving, only to leave on Sunday open, eyes filled with wonder, hearts and bodies filled with love.

It happens every time. Always.

The only difference from group to group is how it happens.

When I worked at the homeless shelter I discovered what I believe are “Universal Truths”.  Three of those truths are (the book I’m currently writing is Lessons in Love: Everything I know about being human I learned at a homeless shelter — there are 15 ‘truths’ in total) ) The first three are — We are all Connected. We all want a place to belong. Love is all there is to hold onto.

At Choices, those truths are illuminated through the stories people tell of their pain, their sorrow, their sadness and their search for meaning. Always, their search for meaning, for that place where better is possible. Sure, there are those who have good lives who come to the seminar because someone they love has asked them, but, as we delve into their human condition, they discover that they don’t want to settle for just ‘good enough’, they want and deserve the better that is possible when we live life on full throttle, hearts wide open to give and receive love freely.

When I went through Choices, my life was pretty good. I’d spent three years healing from a relationship that almost killed me and in my healing, believed my daughters were healing too. But, the residual affects of the pain they’d suffered as they watched their mother disappear before their eyes was still affecting our relationship, and their lives. Through our learning and stretching through our comfort zones, through forgiveness and love, our relationship has improved to where I believe I am the luckiest mother alive — I have two amazing daughters who love me as I am and who know, I love them, exactly the way they are.

I am standing ‘in Love’ this week. Coaching is the best way I know to give back to the world, to be on purpose, making a difference in the world by simply turning up and loving people where they’re at as they discovered the path to where they want to go.

It’s a great way to be alive.

May your week be filled with wonder. May you find Love in where ever you’re at.

Hail the world wide web

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This is serious, big time gratitude for something that makes a huge difference in my life, and the world. I’m talking about ginormous, astronomical, kawabongu difference!

I’m talkin’ ’bout the World Wide Web, or as it’s come to be known, the web, www and even more familiarly, the Internet.

It really hit me last night, sitting at dinner with friends, somebody said something about something and presto! Two iPhones, a blackberry and an ipad are whisked out in the blink of an eye and we’re all googling (it is a verb you know), searching for the answer, or verification of what’s been said. How amazing is that? Information, facts, some untruths, a whole bunch of information at your finger tips.

The WWW is changing how we act, how we perceive, how we are in this world. Through the invisible threads of cyberspace knitting the world together, the truth of ‘we are all connected’ has never been more true.

We are all connected.

Ring me. Text me. FB me. Connect me to your network — and don’t you forget me!

And, as I am off doing one of my favourite things for the next five days, coaching at Choices, my posts will be short, and oh so sweet. 🙂

For today, hail the world wide web and the wealth of information, interesting video and art and stories it places at our fingertips. And here’s to the one’s who keep creating value from the invisible nature of cyberspace.

Namaste.

Reframing my perspective makes a difference

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I met my friend Max for coffee yesterday. Two Bit Oper-Eh Shun? the oratorio he performed with in January 2010 is going to be staged in New York City this July as part of the New York Musical Theatre Festival (NYMTF).

Pretty exciting. The amazing Onalea Gilbertson has been working hard to get all the pieces in place so that the cast, including two performers from the homeless shelter where I used to work, can participate. And Max is getting ready to go. (to hear two songs from the show, click HERE)

“There aren’t many people in Calgary who can say they’ve performed off broadway,” he said to me yesterday as we talked about passports and visa’s and the logistics of organizing for the trip. I’m helping with the logistics here in Calgary and then, later will be joining Onalea in New York to work with the shelters to mentor the participants through the process. The plan is to have individual’s in New York write and perform in the show there with Max and another individual from the original cast performing alongside them.

And then he added, “Think about how you didn’t accept my ‘no’ back then when you started the art program. How from that simple act of our painting together has led to this.”

Max is a kind and caring man. He makes a difference.

We talked about some of the things he needs to do to be ready, willing and able to perform at his best and his commitment to do it.

Max is a man of integrity making a difference in this world through sharing his art, his music and his many gifts with grace and ease.

He sure makes a difference in my life!

Yesterday, as we talked about the changes in the art program and my sense of sadness over what I had framed to be a loss, he helped me put it all into the framework of the natural and inevitable evolution of change. “It hasn’t died, Louise,” he said. ‘It’s just changing.”

And then, he shared his excitement over the ArtBeat Friday happenings. Initiated by staff member, Michael Frisby, every Friday at 4:30 pm performers from the community, both within the shelter and the community-at-large perform on the second floor day area (a large open area where at any given time a couple of hundred people will be seated reading, chatting, connecting, and during meal times, where 800 people will be served). It’s become a regular, Friday late afternoon happening, with clients and staff anticipating the events with great joy.

Michael is making a difference through his commitment to bring music into a place where the music has been lost in many lives. Through bringing the music into the shelter, Michael is awakening spirits to the possibility of reconnecting to the music in their lives.

“I never thought I would sing,” said Max. “I’m a musician, not a singer,” he told Onalea when she first encouraged him to sing.

And now, he can’t stop singing.

Watch out Broadway! Watch out world!  Who knows what a difference Onalea, Max and the rest of the cast of Two Bit Oper-Eh Shun? will make! Who knows how far their ripples will extend.

What kind of difference can you make today by the simple act of reframing what you perceive?

I know it’s sure made a difference for me. Thank you Max!

To Light up the World – turn on the lights

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I noticed it first on Friday evening. The street in front of our home seemed rather dark. Saturday morning, sun not yet risen, the street is pitched in black. All the street lights are out.

I do nothing. I forget, get busy. Sun rises, the lights are no longer needed.

That evening, still not light. Still in darkness. My daughter drops over and mentions it. Yes. They were out yesterday too, I tell her. And still I do nothing.

I’m sure someone on the street has called it in. There are at least 50 houses affected, someone has called it in. For me to do so would just be a ‘bother’, I tell myself.

And daylight breaks. Sun rises and the world is bathed in natural light.

Last night, when there was still no light on the street and I saw a woman walking past my window, I thought about safety, about darkness, about peace of mind. I wanted to know when the City would be fixing our lights and so, I risked what I thought would be condescension and called into the 24 hour City-line to inquire about the lights.

Chantelle, the woman who answered my call was pleasant, professional and informative. “No one’s called it in,” she told me when I told her how I’ve avoided calling it in for fear of being ‘a pest’.

I know what you mean, she laughed. I always figure someone else has done it anyway, so I do nothing.

We laughed together. Good thing you did something, she replied before hanging up and promising to put the job order into the streets department for action.

How many times have I done that? Done nothing because I don’t want to feel stupid, a pest, annoying, interfering?

How many times have I avoided taking action to avoid the discomfort of my judgments telling me how other people will react to my actions?

Last night I took action and learned a valuable lesson. Lighting up the world requires taking action to make sure the lights are turned on.

The lights are not yet back on but I feel better knowing I took action. And that makes a difference in my world.

Namaste.

Where Is The Love? Dave Cunnin – guest post

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Dave Cunnin has a heart of an artist. His palette is the Soul. Dave challenges our assumptions with loving grace, asking us to look at where we stand in the truth of what we are creating in the world. In is guest post, Where Is The Love, he states, “Work is an act of service and service with love is our highest calling.”

Dave’s story today teaches the gift of being of service as both the servant and the one being served with humility and love.

Thanks Dave!

Where Is The Love?

by Dave Cunnin

www.harmoniousflow.com

“Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, 
it is better that you should leave your work 
and sit at the gate of the temple 
and take alms of those who work with joy.”
Kahlil Gibran

There used to be a sign posted in many retail, service and restaurant establishments saying:

If you liked our service, tell others.
If you didn’t like our service, tell us.

I haven’t seen that sign for years. I think for good reason. Let’s face it, customer service is becoming as obsolete as green space in our cities. I recently attempted to purchase a vehicle. I felt I was being led down a narrowing cattle shoot of un-disclosure and misdirection where, at the end of the line the vehicle cost bore little relation to its advertised price. I made a difference. I chose not to buy the vehicle. Furthermore I openly and empathetically shared my concerns about their procedures with the sales person and the sales manager. They responded with rationalizations. Underlying all of this is a lack of trust. They don’t trust the customer, the customers don’t trust them. A significant moment, a moment that should be happy and joyous was turned into a duel.

We don’t buy things, we buy feelings. We don’t do things, we create feelings. At our core, we are feeling beings; the world of commerce appears to have forgotten that. Sure they use fear, sure they use guilt, intimidation, and pressure. When I requested time to consider the deal before finalizing it, the salesperson only expressed concern about how her bosses would feel if I left without putting down a deposit. What am I? Who am I? I was a person preparing myself to make a major commitment, all they could see was a sale.

It is not just dealerships, it is everywhere. I notice that while service clerks may be pointing their eyes in my direction (eye contact is another thing that is fading), their focus and their attention is directed towards their bosses and the business. Clerks, sales people, service reps used to approach with an attitude of “how can I help you?” Now the attitude feels like “what can I get from you?”

What struck me and disturbed me the most when discussing my concerns with the sales person and the sales manager was their unawareness that anything could be amiss in their protocol and procedures. Our work and our society has been gravitating to a point where counting transactions is more important than building a relationships. Work is an act of service and service with love is our highest calling.

I believe we can all make a difference by, as customers, politely speak out when we feel devalued and as employees by  asking the questions “Who are we serving?” “What are we serving?”  Tasks in themselves have little meaning. The wealth and richness inherent in work is derived from our opportunities to interact with others while we perform the tasks. As Kahlil states, if we cannot serve with love, we are better off allowing others to serve us with love.

Celebrating the heroes in our midst (a Saturday Feature)

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I had coffee with one of my favourite heroes yesterday, Ian Prinsloo. Excerpted from his bio at The Rehearsal Process — in formal terms, “Ian is a professional theatre director with over 20 years experience working across Canada… Recently Ian has been exploring theatre outside of theatre. His graduate research (MFA, University of Calgary) focused on how the alternative ways of knowing developed through actor training and enacted in the rehearsal process could be developed in people outside of theatre and how those abilities prepare groups to engage in change processes.”

In real life terms, Ian is a man with a great heart, inquiring mind and enormous capacity to, as he calls it, be comfortable in the field of inciting change. I first met Ian at the shelter where I used to work when he came in to work on The Lower Depths Project he created for the National Conference on Homelessness held at the University of Calgary in February of 2009.  “The Lower Depths Project explored the lived experiences of people connected to the issue of homelessness through theatre practices; in doing so it was seeking to create an opening for alternative views of the issue to emerge”, his bio states.

Ian knows how to touch hearts and open minds, to see possibility in everything and to be open and generous with his enormous talent.

Ian is a hero. 

Max Cielsielski. was one of the participants in The Lower Depths Project and continues to be a supporter and participant in The DI Singers. A gifted artist, carpenter, musician Max is a man of great heart and deep soul. Max was a founding artist of the art program I started at the shelter, and one of its strongest supporters. His generosity of spirit, his willingness to explore his creativity and to share his discoveries inspires me. Max is a beautiful soul who never ceases to leave me breathless at the beauty and magnificence of the human spirit.

Max is a hero.

I first met Des Nwaerondu at the TEDxCalgary event last November where I was a presenter and he was one of the participants. We met for coffee in January and  I sat in awe of this young man who is committed to make a difference in the world, and who is doing it everyday. Des takes action. Des makes change happen — and in his doing, creates opportunities for others to see their power to create change too. You can read Des’ blog HERE, and follow him on twitter here — @AdvisorDes. He’s always got lots of good information to share on creating wealth in your world — he’s an accomplished wealth advisor by day and a heart-driven philanthropist at all times.

Des is a hero.

Heroes in Our Midst would not be complete without a video of someone, something in the world that inspires creativity, wonder and awe. My friend Maureen at Writing Without Paper shares a VIMEO video of music expressed as a rollercoaster ride this morning on her Saturday Shares (My finds are your finds) — Its fun and exciting to watch and makes me marvel at the ingenuity of the human spirit! Enjoy!

ZKO Rollercoaster // GREAT EMOTIONS from virtual republic on Vimeo.

How are you sharing your difference?

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I drove to Innisfail yesterday to deliver a talk to the Rotary Club on… making a difference in the world through the stories we tell.

Presentation finished, lunch wrapped up. Thank you’s and You’re welcome’s shared, I drive back towards Calgary. The landscape unfolds all around me. Big sky. Wide open prairies. To the west, the Rockies edge the horizon, their razor-sharp ridges lumbering across the landscape like a giant dinosaur at rest. Wispy white clouds scuttle across the sky, windswept, snow-covered grain fields undulate to the east, dotted with skeletons of trees awaiting spring where farm houses and ranch lands meet.

I play tunes. Loud. Alone in my car it is me and Rachmaninoff. Keith Jarrett. Eddie Fedder. Eclectic. Surprising. Energizing. Like my day. Each note made different by the last.

I think about all the service clubs whose members do so much in our world. The Rotary in Innisfail have a team leaving for Uganda next week. In a small village they’ll build a well, a school-house, take supplies and work alongside villagers looking to create a better world for their children and families.

As I write, there are other groups, men and women from prairie towns and big city towers, who are out there somewhere in the world, lending a hand, giving of their time, treasures, and talents to create a world of difference.

When I get home from my drive, I receive a phone call asking me to sit on an Advisory board for a large not-for-profit that focuses on global issues affecting all of us. I immediately say yes. I want to be part of the difference we make when we join together and create a world fit for all mankind.

What about you? How are you sharing your difference with the world today?

I Appreciate You because you make life better

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It is a simple act that creates a world of difference.

Tell someone what you appreciate about them.

Ever leave notes for your children or spouse/partner that go something like this…. Don’t forget to put the garbage out. Don’t forget to pick up milk. Don’t forget to do your homework. Don’t eat crackers and cheese on the living room couch!

Ever notice how more often the ‘dont’s’ come into play. How what you requested not happen, happens?

At Choices, the personal development/life skills course I took in April 2006 which I continue to volunteer in as a coach, there is a process called, The Gift I See In You.

Everyday, participants are encouraged to say to the another, The gift I see in you…. and then name that gift. Mothers to their children, sisters to brothers, husbands to wives, give the people in your life a gift, the program encourages, and miracles will happen. They will hear you differently, they will see themselves differently, your relationship will be made different.

And it’s true. Miracles happen when we give people the gifts we see in them, when we tell them what we appreciate about them instead of remind them of the list of don’ts they mustn’t forget.

And here’s the thing about ‘gifts’. They are given without expectation — there is no, now you give me one back because I gave you one. You don’t expect the birthday boy to give you a gift on his special day now do you?

Gifts are the same. Given freely. Given without expectation.

For years, when my daughters and I had finished the Choices we program, we regularly gave each other gifts. It became a playful and loving thing to do every night. We’ve fallen away from gift-giving as life has moved onward and busy-making has replaced conscious connection.

In the Poem a Day to my beloved that I am currently writing, I am reminded of the power of giving words of affirmation. For my partner, the receiving has become an awareness of how beautiful his heart is. And for me, it has shifted my focus from my ‘gripes’ to an appreciation of the grace and beauty in our relationship.

We all like to know, we all like to feel, appreciated.

And, it is so much more affirming to live with an appreciative heart!

Tell someone you love something you appreciate about them today. It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to come from the heart. “I appreciate how you take such good care of our family.”  “I appreciate how you came to dinner when you were called.”  “I sure appreciate how you cleared the table after dinner.” “I appreciate that you listened to me and didn’t try to fix the problem and instead gave me space to share my feelings.”  “I appreciate how you gave up your personal time to complete this project.” “I appreciate your speaking up in the meeting today and championing my idea”…

As Mother Theresa says, “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

In our hunger to ‘have’, let’s not forget to appreciate those who make the love we have so incredibly bright!

When I shift, everything shifts.

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Day 68 of consciously choosing to notice what it means and what it takes to make a difference in the world.

The lessons are simple.

It begins with me. My I Statement.

I am the difference I want to create in the world.

Making a difference requires Commitment.

Commit to your Be. Do. Have.

Focus on your Intention — how do you want to BE in the world.

Move through Attention — where will you focus your efforts on your DOing — what am I willing to DO to create what I want in the world

Find fulfillment of your vision in No Tension — that state of being where you HAVE balance and harmony in your being and doing what you want more of in the world. That place where you know, the Universe is on your side. The Universe is with you, for you, supporting you because it is in the best interests of the Universe that each of us shine.

Stay your path. The Path is the Way.

On Valentine’s Day I gave my beloved the gift of a poem a day for 14 days. I thought it was simple gift that would speak to him of my heart and love. I thought he would enjoy it. No expectations, I said. No need to respond. I’m sending you these poems as a gift. (He is currently living 500 km away and we only see each other every second weekend.)

I lied (didn’t mean to but I did have expectations).

I had lots and lots of expectations! And I let him know it. Even sent him ‘the script’ I’d written on day three about how he should be responding — you know, by my rules and all that. Naturally, his response was not all that ummm, positive.

I regrouped. Took a breath. Acknowledged I did have expectations and my expectations were pushing up against his natural resistance to my expectations. I wanted to quit. To pack up my words in a huff and take to the silent path of poutiness.

I remembered my desire to make a difference in his heart.

I began again where I was.

Always begin again.

I kept sending the poems. Every day. Dipping into that loving place where I write my heart out without expectation of the outcome.

What a difference.

We’re now on Day 30 and the process of writing of love every morning has changed where we are in our relationship. Everything has shifted. Intimacy has deepened. Openness has expanded. Togetherness has aligned.

When I shift, everything shifts.

That simple decision to write a poem a day has made a difference.

Sticking to it, even when the road got muddy, has made a difference.

When I shifted my expectations away from ‘what I want’ to accepting what is, everything was made different.

I’m now working on an online course to inspire others to engage in a similar process.

You make your Difference.

 

Have you told yourself today that ‘it doesn’t matter’. My difference doesn’t count. Nobody cares. Nobody gets ‘me’. Have you asked yourself, “What’s the point?” “Why bother?”

Shift.

Shift your perspective and know, when you shift, everything shifts.

We can all make a difference. It just takes shifting our perspective and opening up to what is without expectation it be any different than what it is.

Sometimes, all it takes to make a difference in the world is to commit to doing something different.

We are each the difference we seek to create in the world. Letting go and flying free of expectations gives us room to explore the space between where we’re at and what is being created in our difference.

Namaste.