What I’ve Learned

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In March 2007, I made a commitment to write a blogpost every day. For a year.

That year has come and gone and I am still writing a blogpost every day (almost).

Why?

Because it’s good for my soul. My heart. My head. My being. It’s good for me and how I am in this world.

Writing every morning has taught me so many things. It’s taught me that turning up on the page (or screen) keeps me flowing.

Through turning up on the page, I’ve learned to trust in the process.

To be present, in whatever I am experiencing, and find its gifts, its value, its lessons.

Turning up here has taught me, I am not alone. We are not alone. We are all connected.

And, it’s taught me the value of practice. Of doing something just for the sake of doing it and in that doing, to allow the practice to improve my doing.

So many things I’ve learned turning up here every morning.

I have learned through writing here that I am my thoughts. And what I write needs to reflect my deep belief that we are all miracles of life. Life is miraculous.

I have learned writing here that we are all on this earth to live as our highest expression of life. We are here to be the sacred nature of our soul’s desire to express itself through our beauty, truth, and creative essence. We are here as miracles of life. Because, a miracle of life is all we can be.

I have learned that my thinking can keep me playing small, or open me up to my magnificence.

I have learned that trusting in the Universe is important. I have learned to trust that; life is filled with limitless possibilities and I am powerful beyond my wildest imaginings when I trust in the Universe. The Universe is not against me. t is always there, encouraging me to trust in the evolutionary impulse to evolve and grow and expand and keep becoming. To be all that I am when I let go of fearing the Universe is not with me. The Universe is with me. For me. Of me. It is in the best interests of humanity that I shine, that you shine, that we all shine full of our greatest expression of Love.

I have learned that fear will always want to steal my peace of mind. I’ve learned that being courageous and letting love lead the way is the only antidote to fear.

I have learned that people are amazing. People make the world a better place.

And I have learned that Love is the answer. Love always wins.

Love connects us all.

We are all spirit. We are all human. We are all miraculous beings of life and light.

It is a deep realization that has continued to open up within me the possibility and the knowing that there is nothing to fear in this world. Not failure. Not success. Not falling. Not flying. Not life. Not death.

There is nothing to fear. For no matter what happens on this earthly plane, we are eternal. We are soul. One humanity. One spirit. One people. Connected through Love.

Don’t Think. Just Do.

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On December 28 I made a commitment to write in my journal every day. Whether one word or a page, I will write with a pen whatever is on my mind.

Last night, after spending the day disrobing the Christmas tree, putting away the season’s finery, and putting the house back in order, followed by an evening binge-watch of a series on my laptop, I realized I had not yet written in my journal.

“It’s too late to do it now,” the critter whispered in my ear. “Save it for tomorrow.”

My commitment to myself saved me.

The inner loving voice of wisdom whispered, “Write this… I deserve to believe in myself. To trust me. To honour my commitments to me. I deserve my self-respect.”

I wrote out the words 3 x — and went on to fill out the page with my thoughts.

It has been a long (long) time since I wrote consistently by hand in my journal. Reawakening the habit requires consistency – and commitment keeping.

Keeping commitments to myself creates a world of difference for me. It ignites feelings of self-respect and love. It creates a sense of honour, like I can depend upon myself to turn up for me.

In fact, I have been doodling away at a novel I began writing last year and haven’t gotten very far – mostly because of self-excuses that let me off the hook of turning up for me.

In my journal, I have drafted the outline for the book along with the first three chapters.

That is progress.

That is turning up for me.

What about you? What commitments to yourself have you not kept, or would like to keep but are putting off or avoiding altogether?

What are the stories you tell yourself about why you haven’t turned up in full living-colour within your own life?

If you have anything on your list, here’s my recommendation:

Don’t think about all the reasons why not. Just Do.

  • Don’t buy into your own excuses. Just Do
  • Stop thinking about why you don’t, or why you shouldn’t, or all the other why nots that clatter around your brain. Just Do.
  • Stop beating yourself up for not doing — Just Do.
  • And above all, love yourself by turning up for yourself in your hesitation, stalling, confusion, regrets, excuses — and Just Do.

Don’t think. Just Do.

The River Runs Loud

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Channeled into an ever-narrowing strip of water, the river runs loud in winter.

Geese huddle on ice islands stretching out from the two bridge buttresses that stand, immovable, in the middle of the river’s flow.

Two squirrels play tag amongst the trees. Unimpeded by leafy greens filling the space between each branch, black puffy tails flicking rapidly, back and forth, back and forth, they chase each other in and out and around tree trunks and branches.

A lone duck floats swiftly past, unseen webbed feet paddling fast.

Cerulean sky stretches from horizon to horizon.

Immersed within the sacred mystery of the world embracing me, I stand in silent wonder to greet the morning light.

In Silent Wonder

Standing at the gateway
great mystery unspent
beckons
time well spent
time frittered away
time wasted
silently drifts
into the shadows
of the past year
spent
of all that was not known
when the bells tolled
their welcoming clarion
to a new year.

Standing at the gateway
great mystery unspent
unfurls
moment
by
moment
leaving all that was spent
in the invisible hands
of time
passing by.

from where I sit

Keep Going.

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Awhile ago, at a Christmas cocktail party, a fellow artist and I were speaking about art-making and the things we’ve learned through both writing and art-making.

Like me, she’s written a blog for several years but recently quit as she wasn’t ‘getting anything out of it’, she said.

I thought about her response and my own experience of blog writing and suddenly, like fireworks lighting up the sky on New Year’s eve, felt this crystal clear thought burst into brilliant light within my mind. “Writing a blog every day has taught me to always trust in the process,” I said. “And making art has taught me to always keep going. To not give into self-doubt or criticism. To trust that if I’m not happy with it, it’s because it’s not done with me yet.”

The Memory Bowls I created for both my sisters this Christmas were an opportunity to lean into what art-making has taught me.

As I layered paper and medium and then painted the bowls gold I kept hearing the voice in my head hissing, “This is ridiculous. It’s going to be a disaster. Quit while you’re ahead.”

I’d never made a ‘memory bowl’ before and was making up the process as I went along. I wanted to give in. To heed that hissing voice but, the muse kept whispering back, “Push through. Keep going.”

I don’t think it’s wise to ignore the muse, so that’s what I did. I kept going, layering and painting and collaging in pieces of memory to create two bowls that tell the story of our parent’s lives.

My middle sister told me she’s going to keep it in her bedroom for her jewelry. My eldest sister wants to put it on a stand for show.

Regardless of how they display or use the bowls, I am grateful for the reminder that, while in life we can’t see what tomorrow may bring, or what will happen next, when we remain committed to the journey, when we stay the course and keep pushing through, we create space for magic, wonder, awe and beauty to appear.

As 2022 slips away and a new year bursts open upon the horizon, magic, mystery and wonder shimmer in the darkness of the unkown the future holds.

There will be trials and tribulations. There will be trauma and grief. And in the midst of it all, no matter how dark the night, or rough the road, magic, wonder, mystery, possibility and above all, LOVE, will also be present. In the midst of darkness, love whispers, “keep going”. In the depths of despair, hope chants, “keep going” and in the dimness of day becoming night, possibility calls out, “keep going”.

2022 art-making taught me to ‘keep going’. What is a lesson you learned in 2022?

I wish you all a beautiful and loving New Year.

These are some photos and a video of one of the memory bowls I made.

Gratitude. The shortest distance between two hearts.

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I am sitting at my desk. Later than normal morning for me. But it’s the week between Christmas and New Years. A week where time seeps gracefully into the back seat of life unfurling in that liminal space between one year’s ending and a new one being born.

A week to breathe and be present.

To ease into each day without checking off lists and rushing towards a deadline where that jolly ole’ big guy in a red suit comes swooshing down chimneys all over the world to the delight of little girls and boys.

That week when pundits offer up reflections of the year past, and gurus provide sublimely simple (yet hard to attain) counsel on how help even the most recalcitrant of acolytes can set and keep New Year’s resolutions.

That week.

Amidst the clamour and the clatter, the stillness and the spaces between, I sit at my desk contemplating the misty view outside my window while inside, the scent of the cinnamon candle I received for Christmas fills the air with sweet aroma.

In front of me, the journal I gifted myself for Christmas sits waiting. I have made a commitment to write in it once a day, 365 days, like in a row as DK would say, for the next year.

I began early. My gratitude list for 2022.

At the top, a reconnection with a young woman very close to my heart. Life happenings. A horrific tragedy. Misunderstandings. Moving far away all took a toll on this relationship.

In 2022, she reached out and we are once again connected.

This is what tops my gratitude list for 2022.

The loss of my dear friend Andrew is also there. Not his leaving this world, but his legacy of friendship, loyalty, love. They are at the top of my list.

My beloved too. It’s been a challenging year for his health in particular. We are moving through it all. Not always with grace. But we are doing our best. As my niece said to me on an early morning call this morning, “You have to give them A for effort. That’s what matters most.”

She’s right. Perfection is just a state of mind that keeps me seeking something I cannot have or achieve – which ultimately will always leave me feeling dissatisfied/disgruntled with my life!

The fact is, my beloved will seldom remember to put the toilet paper roll with the paper coming off the top — but he will always replace the empty one. And while I know that sounds petty on my part, it is letting go of my need to have it one way (ok My Way) that creates space for both of us to revel in the field of gratitude without needing perfection as our benchmark.

And reveling without expectation of reward or outcome opens the portal to living in life’s field of joy every day.

Hope your day is full of joy and wonder, awe and mystery.

Give the gift of Kindness

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On my FB feed I read the story of a lovely woman I know who, when she went to pay for her groceries realized she’d brought the wrong card and didn’t have enough to cover all she wanted to buy. As she started to remove items, the woman in line behind her stepped forward and insisted on paying for what she couldn’t.

That act of kindness rippled out from my friend to everyone who read the story on her feed, inspiring all of us to step forward and give however we can to help someone else.

This holiday season, this day, this year about to begin, let kindness be the gift you share everyday with those you love, with strangers near and far.

Kindness rocks.

From Where I Sit

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From where I sit
face lit with the glow of my laptop screen
my fingers gliding across the keyboard
the soft chanting of Advent songs playing in the background
the steady welcoming hum of the furnace protecting me from the cold
lights flickering as cars cross the bridge carrying people into their day
misty air rising from the river flowing sluggishly between ice-clad banks
naked trees standing tall along its edges 
stretched out branches frozen into awkward shapes
like children frozen in a game of Freeze Tag on a hot summer’s day.
sun kissed clouds stretch out above the tree tops.
river mist rises in ethereal white wisps gracefully flowing like a river through the air

This is the beauty of my morning.
This is the world that surrounds me.
This is my morning light moving from darkness into day.

I watch the lights flicker, the river valiantly fight against becoming ice
hear the music full of voices chanting and violins humming
feel the warm air wafting from the furnace beneath my desk
from where I sit 
in awe 
of the sun 
lightening the dark surrounding nature’s delicate frozen dance 
as I sit 
breathing 
in nature's bounty 
soaking 
all my senses full of its breath-taking beauty

This day is soaked in wonder, awe and magic.
Let it flow. 
.

A Solstice Prayer

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A Solstice Prayer
by Louise Gallagher
On this long dark night ending

dawn waits

pregnant with the promised shift

of the earth turning

on its axis

beginning again 

the journey

from darkness into light.



On this long dark night ending

may your heart hear

the earth tuning in

to the beat of your heart 

calling you back

into the light spreading out

across a distant horizon

awakening you

to the dreams that lay 

dormant in the darkness.