Truth is, we have all avoided or tried to ignore truth in certain situations.

We have all found ourselves in places where facing the truth is the last thing we want to do.

It can be a big thing, like realizing it’s time to leave a relationship and wanting to pretend it’s not.

It can be smaller things. Like knowing you’ve got a cavity and need to get it fixed but letting it go, on and on. Or, avoiding telling a friend you can’t make their birthday party because you had a prior commitment, but don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings by telling the truth.

Avoidance strengthens fear.

When we avoid truth-speaking, it strengthens our fear of truth.

There is nothing to fear in truth-telling, but when we avoid it, there is a momentary relief that happens when the brain realizes it ‘dodged that bullet’ for a moment.

Then reality hits. The truth is still unspoken. You think about facing it but the critter inside says, “Remember how good it felt to not tell truth? You can have that feeling again by avoiding it now.”

And somewhere inside you a voice responds, “Oh yeah. That’s right. It felt okay to not deal with that now. I’ll put it off some more. Maybe I’ll never have to face it.”

And the relationship, or your toothache, or the leak under the sink, gets worse and your feelings of wanting to avoid the truth strengthen. Not because the truth is fearful, but rather, because your brain has decided avoiding truth feels better than speaking truth.

To avoid falling into the trap of convincing yourself not speaking truth is better than facing reality, be like Nike. Just do it.

No matter your fear. No matter the voice inside urging you to retreat. Just do it.

Speak truth.

As the saying goes, “Turn up. Pay attention. Speak your truth. Stay unattached to the outcome.”

To avoid fear or feeling badly about yourself, or negative self-talk that whispers about your inadequacies and short-comings, clean up your life by getting clean on the truth with yourself.

That doesn’t mean it’s a free ride to say what you want. Remember, in all things be kind.

Truth in its purest form does not hurt. It sets us free. To be kind. To be thoughtful. To be caring and above all, Loving.

For me, the truth in this moment is, I’ve been fighting a cold all week. I have struggled with being present because I’m tired and feeling less than par. I’ve wanted to avoid turning up because I’d rather be in bed!

Truth is, when I turn up how I am, where I am, I bring the best of me, however I am in that moment, to the page.

In my turning up, I remind myself that no matter my fear of ‘writing bad’, or not making sense, or not being as impactful as I tell myself I need to be, being here isn’t about ‘the outcome’. My turning up here is something I do for myself every day to set myself free to live my day in the light of knowing, I am giving my best, in this moment right now and, my best is good enough.

And that’s the truth!

Namaste.

To be at peace doesn’t mean rolling over and giving up.

To be at peace is the art of keeping your cool, no matter how fierce the winds are swirling around you, or how harsh the cold.

It means staying true to your values, your beliefs, no matter how hard the knock.

It means, not striking out because someone struck first, and instead, responding to create the more of what you want in the world, not the less of their actions.

Our human nature often wants to strike back. Get even. Make them feel what we felt.

Yet, to do so doesn’t make us feel better if in striking back, we too are hurt, we too are carrying the burden of regret, of anger, of pain.

Getting even gives short term gain. Long term pain.

Go for the long game. Find the path to peace by holding yourself 100% accountable for all your actions, words, thoughts and deeds. Stand true to who you are. Act out of your values and do not let yourself be pulled into the storm of someone else’s chaos. Create peace where ever you are and seek it in all things.

Namaste.

Have you ever noticed how often you interpret someone’s facial expression as being negative? How you see their ‘look’ as meaning they don’t like what you said, or disagree, or don’t like you?

And then, when you discern negativity, how often you change your words, or apologize, or explain away whatever your opinion was?

What if instead of jumping to conclusions, you instead jumped into the belief, there is only Love to see. Love is all around. And in Love, there is only acceptance. Compassion. Empathy. Understanding..

In Love, there is no need to change your opinion or switch gears to please another, or to avoid what you believe will be an unpleasant conversation.

In Love, there is only the opportunity to dive deeper into what connects us. In Love, there is no rejection. There is only the space for closeness.

Try it. Just for today. Instead of watching for negativity, seek to see only Love.

Namaste.

When you’re angry with yourself, when you feel like you’ve made a mistake or fallen down in life, do you start chastising yourself, using language to describe your competency (or lack of) with words you’d never use with another?  Do you get angry with yourself and beat yourself up?

What if you chose to do something different?

What if you chose to not get angry and fall into self-defeating games filled with negative self-talk that tears down your well-being?

Before you get angry with yourself, do something different. Love yourself first.

Loving yourself first doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook of accountability or responsibility for mistakes and mis-steps.

It means, learning from what you’ve done, committing to do better, making amends where necessary and treating yourself like you deserve to have a second, third, even more chances to do your best.

We are all works in progress and when we beat ourselves up because our work in progress is not ‘perfect’, we undermine our capacity to take this journey of life loving ourselves each step of the way.

So, next time you feel like you made a mistake that deserves your unforgiveness or so unbelievable you deserve to be chastised and beaten up for being so human, stop. Take a breath and whisper quietly to your heart.

“It’s okay. We’re okay. This is just me being human. And being human is what I do best.”

Now. Breathe and be. Breathe and be.

Love yourself first.

Several years ago, I took a course in which course moderator and Abbess of Abbey of the Arts, Christine Valters Paintner, asked, “What if I truly believed the path before me was blessed?”

And the muse within me answered without hesitation — There would be no misstep. I would trust in this moment right now. I would believe in the beauty of this moment right now and see the perfection of each step, in darkness and light.

It was a scary thought. To hold true that each step before me is blessed. For, if I truly believed each step before me is blessed, I would dance in the light of Love. I would sing loud. I would laugh and spin about. I would embrace fearlessness in each step.

I would not fear falling.

My mind is telling me, the path feels busy right now. My plate full. Work is ramping up after not slowing down very much since the crazy busyness of the holiday season. I’ve had a mouse visiting my desk at work, leave evidence of his antics on its surface. (that’s a whole over drama!)

The renovations on our new home continue with decisions to be made, things to be bought and new completion dates adjusted. We are still in temporary quarters. My eldest daughter is entering the final months of her pregnancy and I shall become a grandmother soon.

So much to do. So many ways to be present. How will I manage?

When I let go of focusing on ‘how much there is to do’ or worrying about the ways in which I am being present and instead, breathe into knowing the path before me is blessed, I move from panic mode thinking (how on earth am I going to get it all done?) to realization that what will be will be. Doing what needs to be done is important. Knowing that no matter how I do whatever I do, the path before me is blessed, opens me up to grace. In grace, there is no anxiety. No worry. No fear.

I can stress out over what needs to get done. Or, I can choose to breathe calmly into doing what needs to get done without judging the quantity of time and energy available as lacking in ‘enough’. When I move from lack to abundance, to gratitude for the blessed path before me, I become conscious of my ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’.

In that realization, I find myself remembering to sink back into that place where I know, deep within me, that all my seeking to get stuff done without staying conscious of my being present, is just a way to keep myself busy from being present.

And without presence, I spin like a hamster in a wheel, giving no thought to the present moment in which I am given the gift to not just do, but also BE.

When I let go of worrying and fearing the path before me, I open my heart, my mind and my soul to being conscious of being present to trusting the path before me.

And when I trust in the blessed path before me, I become all that I am in this moment – no matter how often my mind is telling me, the path is unsafe. The world is spinning out of control. Hunker down. Get ‘er done. Don’t let go….

The path before me is blessed. I trust in this moment right now and step fearlessly onto the path.

And with each step, wonder and awe awaken and miracles shimmer all around.

In the midst of darkness, do you see the light?

In the midst of anger, do you let your temper spew out in harsh, hurtful words?

In the midst of fear, do you close your eyes and cower in the darkness?

It is easy to forget our humanity in difficult times.

Yet, no matter the times, when we shine our light on our humanity, despair, anger, fear are not the only things present, so too is hope, compassion, Love.

It is in the face of darkness, we must not lose sight of hope. Hope let’s the light in.

In the throes of anger, we must never lose touch with our humanity and our capacity to be compassionate. Compassion connects us to what is real and true in our shared human condition.

In the grips of fear, we must never forget, Love is always present. Love is the path to building a world of peace.

For today, practice being conscious of all that is present in every moment. When you feel despair descending, remind yourself, hope is also present.

When you feel anger rising, acknowledge that compassion is standing beside it.

In the thrall of fear consuming you, let Love be your companion, your light, your answer. Always.

If you haven’t watched it yet, the video of Oprah Winfrey’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes last night is… well, it’s golden!

She is always articulate and courageous but last night, she shone!  Her words and passion spoke not just to all the women and men in the audience and watching on TV, but to all the little girls out there who have dreams to pursue. Referencing the “Me Too” movement, she spoke about how the mis-use of power by a few has impacted the many — but No More.

No More.

As Oprah says, “A new day is on the horizon. And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women…. and some pretty phenomenal men…  fighting hard to take us to a time when nobody has to say, ‘Me Too’, again.”

I’m counting on that day where my ‘Me Too’ is silenced not because of abuse or fear or tyranny, but because it is no longer needed.

I am counting on being one of those who is fighting hard to awaken our human condition to its magnificence so that we no longer push down or hide from the ugly stories of our past but see that those stories are not our ‘truth’. They are simply the story of the long and winding road we took to get here where the truth is, we are all magnificent.

I am counting on looking back at that road and not being bowed or discouraged by the human cost, but rather, celebrating the magnificence of those who had the courage to stand up and say, ‘Me Too’ because in their voices, we were all inspired to stand up and claim our right to be free of abuse and sexual assault and discrimination and a host of other human ills that costs our humanity so much.

I am counting on standing on that road in the light of our human potential shining brightly in the truth — We are all One. One humanity. One planet. One human condition. There is no ‘us and them’. There is only us.

I am counting on being one of those who speaks truth so that others find their courage to speak theirs. And in our truth-speaking, we create a world where everyone, no matter the colour of their skin, the pew or carpet or earth upon which they kneel, their postal code or size of their bank account, their education, their mental health or physical capabilities is free to live without fearing the brutality of someone else’s truth limiting their capacity to pursue their dreams.

I am counting on being part of the story of our humanity awakening to its true magnificence.

What about you?