I have been creating. Painting and collaging and colouring in and scribbling thoughts and ideas on my art journal.

Over the weekend, I’ve finished creating the 6 keys themes of my journal:  Joy. Love. Gratitude. Create. Courage. Freedom.

The process of creation is one of mindful meditation, intuitive awareness and allowing the process to unfold. As I stood in the studio last night and looked at all six theme pages laid out, I was in awe of the process. From a blank piece of watercolour paper just over a week ago, to having six colourful and for me, meaningful theme pages completed is pretty amazing and a wonderful reminder of what can happen when I get out of my own way. Rather than look for reasons for it not to happen, I chose to let it happen. And it did.

The opening theme of the book is JOY. Last night, I painted the flip side of the Joy theme page and then, filled it in with thoughts and feelings about joy.  Over the next few weeks I’ll be completing the flip side of each page, and then binding the book together. My thought is that as I move forward I can continue to add theme pages, and/or, create a new book.

We’ll see what the process unfolds!  In the meantime, being immersed in this experience is enlightening, fulfilling and peace-rendering. It moves me through a meditative state, embracing me in calmness and … joy.

Joy is always present.

Joy is not something we need to go looking for, to buy, or to uncover. Joy is always present and when we stop seeking it, joy finds us in the spaces where we let go of yearning and wanting and seeking to have and to be anything other than who we are.

Joy finds us in the breath between the worry and anxiety and fear and concern that robs us of peace of mind and harmony.

Joy is always present. It’s in every moment, and when we release ourselves from struggling to be at one with the who, what, why and how of being our authentic selves, joy opens us up to the wonder and awe of being present within it.

And in that place, we find ourselves embraced in joy, loving the life we’ve always dreamed of, just the way we are.

Art Journal Page 2
Sail Free

I painted with a group last night. Five of us in my studio. A team/building, let’s have fun outside the workplace exercise for our communications/fund development team at the Foundation where I work.

It was fun. And unstructured, or as C.C. likes to call my way of doing things, free stylin’. He particularly uses that term for my cooking, and in the case of our time together last night, I definitely was free stylin’ it with elan!

I’d set the tables and supplies up before everyone arrived with wine and snacks. We laid out the food on platters, carried it all downstairs and got to work. I showed everyone ideas on what is possible, we filled up our plates and glasses and got playing.

What a blast! It was joy and laughter and sharing and teasing and checkin’ out what others were doing and well, it was just pure fun! Even Ellie got in on the action. She wandered around the room, laying her body down at the latest person’s feet who gave her food and, when no one was looking, she even managed to steal not one, not two, but three cheese buns from the source of Calgary’s best cheese buns, The Glenmore Bakery. 

Sigh. Note to self. Do not put food on Ellie level tables. She no longer has the moral persuasion to not steal it. But then, I’m not sure she’s ever had moral persuasion other than to consume whatever she sees when it comes to food!

All in all. It was an evening of great fellowship, team building and creation. Perfect!

For three hours we laughed and chatted and glued on images and painted over and glittered up and scraped away and toasted our creations with a sip of wine and allowed ourselves to play like children. Cutting and pasting and letting what happens happen.

We didn’t solve homelessness. We didn’t put an end to poverty and though we didn’t find the answer to world peace, we did find peace with  each other by celebrating our differences, our uniqueness and our capacity to work together, and have fun! 

My studio became a creative hive last night where amidst the laughter and art-making, five people found themselves in that place where our human condition shines brightest at the core of our creative essence.

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And… my technical glitch has been resolved (I learned something along the way too — use your saved filed to upload to Youtube, and don’t attempt to do it directly from Windows Movie Maker, strange things happen in that space).

Earlier this week, at the top of my post, No Small Significance, I shared a verse I’d written in my journal during the course I took last weekend. The next day I received an email from my amazing friend Max who liked the verse and had written a piece of music for it.

I recorded it, put it on Soundcloud and then, as I fell into sleep on Wednesday night, the thought slipped into my mind to set it to video.

So… I did.

When the muse calls… the answer is YES!

Namaste.

I was all ready to upload a special treat today.  And then… technology ground to a halt and I lost an hours worth of work.

Which means… I’ve got to get running and don’t have time to re-create.

So…. instead. I decided to share what I created last night — my first art journal page…

I’ll work on the re-uploading of my special treat later, or it may appear tomorrow morning.

All depends on what the cyber-gods allow!

Which reminds me… expect the unexpected and you won’t be disappointed!

Oh. and to also — stay unattached to the outcome.  🙂

Wishing you an inspiring day filled with unexpected happenings of the glorious kind!

Working in the studio teaches me something every day. Life does that too but the lessons from the studio are often more luminous in their quality to inform and awaken and inspire me to colour outside the lines.

I have started to create an art journal. An art journal is a tapestry of life’s happenings told through visual prompts in a journal style book. Instead of writing out what’s going on, the story is created using mixed media pages of words and drawings and collage. Art journals can be store bought books you cover and craft to your own specifications, or you can create from the ground up.

I decided to create from the ground up. Using an empty cardboard cereal box, I’ve spent the last couple of days creating my cover. 

And here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Be persistent. There’s no better place to start than where you’re at. There’s no better way to begin than where you find yourself in the process — and every step is the beginning right now of what can be. Don’t quit. Keep moving with it until your heart says, I am happy. 
2. Think outside the box.  Yup, ’cause in this case there really is a box to work with and unless I see it as more than just a cereal box, it won’t find the possibility of transformation.
3. Allow. — There is no right or wrong in artful creation. It is meant to feed your soul, not someone else’s. Allow what is asking to appear to appear. Allow magic. Allow possibility. Allow light to enter through every crack.
4. Be fearless. — Who said you can’t put purple feathers there? You’ve never used a glue gun before? Now’s a great time to start.
5. Explore. — See the possibility in everything. For hoarders this is a great one! Because seriously… there’s possibility in everything! That’s not an old Christmas card. That’s not a useless piece of ribbon to discard… What if and I wonder if… are two great questions to ask when creating a journal. I wonder if… this will stick to that?… What if… I cut out that butterfly from the box my new mascara came in and paste it here?
6. Stay unattached. — Just as there is no right or wrong way, judging yourself, your work, your creation is self-defeating. And anyway, there is no end point until you say so. If you don’t like where it’s at, keep going. If you don’t like that there, move it, paint over it, cover it up.
7. Breathe.  No matter what, keep breathing. Deeply.  Continuously. Stay conscious of your breath. Remind yourself to relax. Your shoulders. Pelvis. Stomach muscles. Neck. Face. Smile even! This is fun. Allow your inner child to come out and play and create and explore and enjoy!
8. Dare Boldly. Unhook your self-critic. Unleash your inner muse. Leap and don’t go looking for a net, let your wings unfurl. 

I’ve never made an art journal from a cereal box before and at first, my mind was stuck in ‘doing it right’. I wanted in fact to quite many times. Right from the beginning. I’d decided to put three words on the cover as prompts for me to remember to always DARE. INSPIRE. CREATE. I messed up. I wanted them to be raised and the paint was too runny and dripped. Ugly, my critics mind howled. I thought about ditching the whole thing but decided  to keep going. I didn’t want to scrape them off — I’d let them dry too long and scraping off would rip the paper I’d used to cover the cereal box.

My daughter Alexis taught me a great lesson in painting many years ago — if you don’t like it, paint over it, she told me one day as I wailed about an unsatisfactory result. That definitely worked here. I decided to cover up the words with the photo from a Christmas card I love. Hmmm… the words made the collage bumpy. Not nice. Want to quit. I kept going. Pasted on some butterflies. Used some sheer fabric, metallic spray paint and a stencil. Border tape. More painting over. Stencil some hearts with shimmer dust. A cutout flower. Couple more. Hmmm…. not so bad. Keep working it.

Okay. We’re happy now. It’s not a masterpiece but for a first crack, it makes my heart happy.

And that’s what it’s all about. To stretch my heart muscles and stir up my creative juices to get me to that point of feeling proud, satisfied, happy, content, mystified by the process and in awe of the magic of creation.

Which is why I then collaged in the word AWE.

Because as I cleaned up my brushes and put away my supplies, I felt awe descend. I’d started with barely an idea of what I was creating, and in the process was reminded once again that it’s not the destination that matters, it’s not the end product that makes a difference. It’s the process.

Which brings me to Lesson 9 —

9. Trust in the process.  Trust in the process, allow magic and Have Fun! Do what makes your heart happy!

I did and I’m grateful!

On the weekend, I had the gift of spending two days with the brilliant Kerry Parsons and 9 other people as we explored Seasons of the Heart — The age-old tradition of taking time at the beginning of a New Year to reflect on what really matters and what lies ahead, opens the possibility – the heart and hope for a new beginning. Seasons of the Heart  is a Mindfulness journey to your heart of hearts…your true self…your soul…where what really matters to you…what is essential for your well being waits for you.

On Sunday afternoon, as we dug into the question, “What do I give my power to?” I found myself on the other side of my comfort zone. In that place where I came face to face with my fear that unless I’m actively out there ‘making a difference’, making it happen, changing the world, I don’t matter.

It just ain’t true.  No matter how hard my head wants me to believe otherwise. My heart knows.

My heart knows the truth and on Sunday, it leapt into the void of self-doubt that would have me believe to make a difference in the world I have to keep on doing and doing and doing.

The truth my heart knows is that it’s not in my doing I make the difference. It’s in my being. My difference.

Each of us came into this world with our DNA pre-coded in difference-making. Because each of us has a completely unique, perfectly beautiful set of DNA. Isn’t that amazing? Each of every one of the 6 billion some odd people in this world, walking around right now on planet earth, has a completely unique and different set of DNA that speaks to the heart and soul and matter of who we are.

Our difference isn’t made up in what we do. It’s in who we are. And who we are matters.

We are each different, unique, special.  The things we do. What we contribute. Create. Bestow. Value. It all makes a difference. Not because it all has significance, (it does but that’s a whole other matter), it has significance because we are the difference-makers. We are each of us different — and our difference matters.

The Seasons of the Heart journey is about discovering our wholeness. It’s not about throwing out or even changing what doesn’t work, it’s about living in the space of all of it and knowing — it all matters because we matter. What we do. Say. Think. Feel. Matters. Not because it makes a difference in the world, but because, it makes us different. It either creates the more of who we want to be, or the less. Our choice. Our decision.

And when I give my power to believing I have to keep doing, doing, doing, I undermine my value, my worth and belief in who I am.

When I give my power to celebrating my significance exactly the way I am, who I am takes precedence over what I do. I can keep doing,  it’s an important element of how I express myself. It’s not the difference though. The difference is in who I am. And I am me and you are you and each of us matter. Each of us makes a difference as we are, not in what we do.

Who we are is the greatest difference we can live.

Because, who we are matters.

I matter. You matter. Every single one of us matters. And when we live our lives as though we matter to ourselves and to each other, we create a world of difference for everyone to experience the wonder and awe of the miracle of life in each of us.

And that’s no small significance. That’s big!

A night of sleep that didn’t really happen, though it must have because at some point, I rolled over and turned off my alarm and don’t remember doing it!

I do remember the frustration of rolling over, one side to the next, seeking the elusiveness of sleep. Asking for it to arrive only to be distressed by its absence.

I do remember meditating in an effort to calm my mind — which didn’t feel very worked up so it wasn’t over-thinking keeping me awake.

I do remember reading in the hopes my eyelids would grow heavy with each word consumed.

I do remember watching How To videos on mixed media collage and other arty affairs.

And I do remember playing Spider Solitaire.

And while I know I did get some sleep, it wasn’t as restful as I had intended or wanted. Which means, this blog is short and sweet because I have to get running. The day is calling.

So, instead of words, I leave you with one of my favourite short films. I have shared it before but it is always worth revising. If you haven’t seen it, please gift yourself 20 minutes to watch it. If you have seen it before, a gift of 20 minutes is also a good thing!

Blessings on your day. May each moment expand in wonder and awe. May your heart be light, your spirit bright, may joy embrace you.

Last fall, when I created my art studio in our basement, I made a commitment to write in my art journal about what I learned and experienced with every session in the studio.

So, to get the confessions out-of-the-way first — I haven’t been consistent with writing everyday in my art journal. In fact, you could say I’ve failed miserably in my goal to write every time because since beginning in the studio on September 23rd, I’ve written 10 times in my art journal.

There is value in when I did, and didn’t, write. When I did write, I captured my feelings, thinkings, ideas, impressions. As I read back through what I wrote, there are ideas worth exploring, deepening, expanding upon. When I didn’t write, I find a great reminder about how easy it is to get ‘out of the moment’. Sitting down to write brings me into ‘the now’. Not writing lets me off the hook of my accountability.

There is value in all things and sometimes, the greater lesson is learned when I don’t do the things I’ve committed to do. In my not doing, I see where I trip myself up, keep myself playing small, or allow myself to be unaccountable for my journey. In the not doing, I have made a conscious decision to not be present. Which, given that this is my year of daring boldly, means I need to turn up, pay attention, speak (write) my truth and stay unattached to the outcome in all things I do. Getting conscious in all things is essential to my living life outside the lines.

In the past, when I have missed out on keeping my commitments with myself I have beat myself up, called myself down, let myself wallow in self-defeating mind-chatter that does not celebrate, nurture or support me.It doesn’t allow much room to grow and evolve and learn and create freely either!

The outcome of my not doing was always the same — I didn’t do. I felt badly about myself. I quit.

To not be attached to the outcome of my doing, and not doing, means to let go of self-defeating games. It means I must release my habit of self-denigration and set myself free to accept what is, as it is. I must learn from what is present now, and begin again from this place to be true to myself in all things I do, all ways I am.

What is true is that since last fall, I have worked in the studio more days than I’ve written in my art journal. The ratio of ‘days in studio/writing’ is irrelevant. The number is simply a fact I use to deflect the truth — I did not keep my commitment with myself to write in my art journal after every session in the studio. Whether or not I had anything worth writing, whether or not I felt inspired to write, whether or not I felt like it, is not the issue. The commitment I’ve made is with myself. The teaching is about discipline, keeping my commitments with myself and accepting that the objective isn’t ‘good writing’, it’s writing. Period. On the path the way appears.

What is true today is that yesterday I worked in the studio and wrote in my art journal. I will work in the studio again today and I will write again today. That is my intention and my commitment. To begin again. To dare boldly to keep my word with myself and stay true to my desire to celebrate life on the wild side of being my creative expression releasing itself to create a world of wonder and awe all around me. A world in which I bravely live the truth of who I am, the Divine expression of amazing grace.

Namaste.

Dare I say it? To live bravely I must dare boldly to express myself with love, joy and integrity in all my creations.

It happens every year. A page of the calendar turns and a New Year begins and in its arrival, we look back to find the markers for where we went off track, stayed the course or simply held still throughout the year. We make a list of things we want to do, achieve, create in the year to come and set off with good intentions.

Two years ago, I began this blog with the intention of writing about something that made a difference everyday in my life. It could be something I did or someone else did, some one I met or heard about, or something I learned that touched me and made me different, or made the world a better place.

Last year I focused on rejoicing in the difference and, as you will see by this year’s title, I’ve switched it up again and moved from focussing on difference making to the art of boldly living on the brave side of life outside the box.

Life is the art of daring to colour outside the lines. To get outside my comfort zone, I must dare boldly.  I must set myself free of self-judgments and limited thinking that would hold me captive to playing it small and safe. To live bravely I must dare to leap beyond the comfort of the familiar to take the road less travelled.

There is no box outside my comfort zone. No four walls that define me, no pre-conceived condition for the journey. There is only the daring to find my unique path, my authentic creative expression.

There is no box.

No matter how fast I may hold to the notion that there is comfort in the familiar, to dare boldly I must seek my answers in the realm of the unknown. I must breathe into the possible without constraining my thinking by the impossible, without limiting my actions by the known.

I will be challenged by this. I will be shaken up, twisted and contorted. It is not comfortable outside the invisible markers of ‘the box’. This is no man’s land. Unknown territory. In my fear of stepping out, of leaping blindly, I will want to turn back, to grasp onto or not let go of what I know. I will seek the comfort of the familiar to hide my fear the magic and wonder that can happen when I am free-styling through life.

These things I know about myself. These things I know I will attempt to do to keep myself from moving too far away from the guideposts of my well-worn path. It’s not that this path is awful, or bad, or even unsuitable. It’s just, I know that in playing it safe within ‘the box’ of my qualified life, I hold myself back from fearless creative expression.

And I want to express myself fearlessly and fiercely. And I can’t do that inside a box. I can’t express myself fully inside the lines.

These are things I know.

What I don’t know is what is possible when I let go of ‘the known’ to allow magic and wonder to be my guides. What I can’t see is what can appear when I stop looking for what I recognize and make room for intuition to grace my every moment.

I’m on a journey.

Like explorers of old I don’t have a map but I am well-equipped for this journey. There are my markers I know I must hold true to — my values and principles that I cannot compromise on. I know that no matter what, no matter where I go, I must commit acts of grace in everyday living. Small acts that contribute to creating a kinder, more caring, loving and compassionate world where ever I go. I know that I must live with integrity, speak my truth, be present and stay unattached to the outcome. I know that I must create better. Be fair and do no harm.

And I know that I must be loving and kind.

I am excited. I hope you will join me as I travel this road unknown. I hope that in our journeying together we will discover what it means to Dare boldly and live bravely.

And in the process, I hope that together, we’ll find the difference we make creates a world we all want to live in.

Blessings.